Deciding between Priesthood or a relationship?

[Protex]

Hey there, I've been with my GF for two years now. I'm very devout (Roman Catholic) and she is a deist of sorts. I recently have been considering becoming a priest, (I'm taking Philosophy/Theology in University). But today I was posed with the question "Who do you love more, God or me? I couldn't answer and it got ugly. My GF now is not talking to me because she's upset that I could possibly abandon her for someone she believes doesn't even exist.

 

What do I do? I don't even know if I WANT to become a priest, I was merely considering it, but now my relationship is on the rocks.

[lessy20]

If you're that devout and she is an atheist, I don't think that the relationship will really work out in the long run anyway. These are differences that, unless one of you (probably she) has a breakthrough and decides to start believing in God, will come between you for the rest of your lives.

[Dako]

How's she supposed to feel?

You're telling her she's expendable if you decide to go celibate and you told her you favor something more than her.

 

She must feel temporary.

 

lessy, she's not an atheist.

[lessy20]

ha, I saw "a deist" and read atheist...my dyslexia is getting the better of me!

[Protex]

I can understand why she feels angry and upset, but what am I possibly to do?

 

I'm so bewildered and lost, I can't think of any solutions to this.

[Dako]

I wish I had a clue.

I'm an agnostic, and never had your dilemma.

 

All I can think of is an honest discussion when she calms down.

[DragonGirl724]

Protex,

 

priesthood is a lot more than just saying your life is God...it takes unimaginable amounts of dedication...i suggest talking to priests about what their job fully entails before considering this any further. why do you want to become a priest anyway? there are other careers you can persue in the Roman Catholic religion that wont require a life of celibacy....maybe look into them.

 

maybe just become a teacher-not a preacher. lol and you can have the best of both worlds that way. a career dedicated to God and a good woman to keep you warm at night

 

I agree with Dako 100%. id be pissed too but maybe id be understanding about it in the long run. theres nothing either of you can do once you make your decision.

 

-DG724

[heloladies21]

She's been manipulating you for some time now and this is just another in a long line of psychological domination tactics that she's using for her entertainment at your expense. If you're not able to stick up for yourself, you'll soon get dumped.

[doyathink]

Protex,

 

People who don't believe in God the way you do will never understand how you can put him first in your life....above them. You can't explain it....they will never understand. Putting God above all else is next to impossible for her to imagine.

 

Altho I think putting him above all else, and making her number one...are two different things...but she probably doesn't.

 

This is a serious matter...however, I think concentrating on it at the moment is futile....and until you make a solid choice as to what your going to do....just enjoy her company for now.

[DropToZero]

Wow...tough question...reality hit you there didnt it? My opinion, I'm not sure what I believe right now, but I'm leaning more towards agnostic also... If it were up to what I used to believe or was taught all through childhood, you should love your God more, but as myself now...I'd say you should love her more....then again, I don't even know if love exists, I've never been in it or felt it from what I can tell. This is your turning point though...now or never it may seem. As a person who doesn't believe what you believe, Dako's right...she feels 2nd or even lesser.

[TheRedQueen]

Hey there, I've been with my GF for two years now. I'm very devout (Roman Catholic) and she is a deist of sorts. I recently have been considering becoming a priest, (I'm taking Philosophy/Theology in University). But today I was posed with the question "Who do you love more, God or me? I couldn't answer and it got ugly. My GF now is not talking to me because she's upset that I could possibly abandon her for someone she believes doesn't even exist.

 

What do I do? I don't even know if I WANT to become a priest, I was merely considering it, but now my relationship is on the rocks.

 

If I were with a man who told me he was thinking about becoming a Catholic priest, I too would feel incredibly hurt and betrayed. That wouldn't sit well with me at all.

[doyathink]

and she is a deist of sorts. .

 

because she's upset that I could possibly abandon her for someone she believes doesn't even exist

 

These two statements are confusing. I thought the same thing lessy did.

Deist believe in God....but more in a way that he just through us out here and doesn't really care what we do....and then you say she doesn't even believe in him???!!

[lessy20]

I thought deism was just being more spiritual, believing in God of sorts but not, one almighty power...more like nature and reason.. but I'm not too sure about that. I kind of equated it to Taoism..

[doyathink]

From link removed

 

rational belief in God: a belief in God based on reason rather than revelation and involving the view that God has set the universe in motion but does not interfere with how it runs.

 

LOL...I dont know...

[Siriana]

She asked that because she feels like you're going to become a priest. And basically she wanted to ask do you love me enough not to become a priest.

 

Also if you really love God more than your gf I advise braking up with her. If you are considering becoming a priest than be consistent and don't date.

[trash mail]

Another game. Another grab for attention.

Sounds to me that this girl wants to think she is the center of the universe in your life. My opinion is that she is immature.

I have seen couples mixed religious priorities and still get along well, why? because they understand why something are important for their partner and respect it.

What you should do? Just because you love your religion doesnt mean that you have to be a priest. It sound to me that your religion is something you feel defines you. Things that YOU believe defines you are not worth giving up for a woman. Maybe, it is time to look for someone that matches you and your beliefs. Let her go, you will not regret it in the long run.

[TheRedQueen]

Dude, this guy is honestly thinking about going celibate...for life.

 

I do not think that it is immature for her to be hurt and perplexed by this.

[trash mail]

the question was, "Who do you love more, God or me?"

There is a very simple answer to that n this case, he loves God, and to many people(roman catholics included) that is just a natural FACT. No person can compare themselves to God and to even do so is just plain silly and immature.

Religion defines people for who they are. A matured person will know that, IF she knowingly dates a guy that is thinking to become a priest, what right has she got to challenge his beliefs?

It is just one of these take it or leave it situation and thus she should not be throwing a tantrum because he chooses God over her.

To me it is quite a brain dead situation.

As for Protex, stand by what you believe in, understand the re-processions of becoming a priest. Remember, you can believe in your religion and follow it without being a priest. You have options, but if you feel you have a calling talk to your priest and see where it goes.

As for your girlfriend situation, the problem arises from the fact that you are not firm and you are trying cater to her but not giving her an answer from your own beliefs. You fear of the relationship ending is working against you.

Know what you want, figure out where everything sits in your life (prioritize) and then stand by it.

After that if she wants to stay or go is up to her.

[TheRedQueen]

the question was, "Who do you love more, God or me?"

That may be the question, but the issue is whether or not he's actually considering to become a priest. If that's the case, that poses a major conflict of interest between him and his girlfriend.

[Daddy Bear]

Hypothetical question to you, Protex: what would you say if God asked you the same thing?

[Dako]

She has beliefs as well, and they are mocked and called immature.

That's intolerant.

[TheRedQueen]

She asked that because she feels like you're going to become a priest. And basically she wanted to ask do you love me enough not to become a priest.

 

Also if you really love God more than your gf I advise braking up with her. If you are considering becoming a priest than be consistent and don't date.

And here's the money post!! Spot on syrix.

[Daddy Bear]

I don't blame her for fearing abandonment. That is, after all, what would have to happen if he becomes a priest, and it would mean the death of what I would presume to be her current dreams. I do wonder what such a loaded question, tantamount to ultimatum, says about the depth of her altruism, which brings up a third question: who does Protex believe loves him more?

[TheRedQueen]

Yeah, you're right. "God" loves us more than our family, lovers and friends do.

 

I love God and God loves me, so nothing else matters but this love.

 

In fact, I'll even sacrifice my son for God, cause if God says so, and my love for Him is supreme...then I guess bye-bye son.

 

Scary stuff man.

[Daddy Bear]

Mockery is fashionable nowadays, but not pretty.