Confused

[Jim2007]

I am really confused about this girl I've been seeing and was hoping someone could shed some light on here. So I met this girl 7 days ago and I confronted her and we got her number. I decided to call her back 2 days later and we arranged to meet that night, well things went really really well and we decided that a second date would be a good idea. Well next thing you know a week has passed and we've called each other every day and seen each other 5 out of the 7 days we've known each other and thing and seeming to be going well, until our most recent date. We were hanging out in the car and out of nowhere she was like can I talk to you about something. And I was like sure and she was like I really like seeing you had alot of fun and your a really nice guy but I think that could be pushing me away from you. And I was like what do you mean, and she was like well my past relationships always ended up in me getting really hurt and your so nice I wouldn't want that to happen. So I asked her if we were moving too fast and she said no and I told her that I thought everything was going good but now i'm not sure and she was like are we breaking up and I was like no and I could see there was a sigh of releif. Well she went on to tell me how horrible her past 2 relationships have been and how she got really hurt and all that. She also did mention it might get to the point where she will say she cant come out with me. Well anyways we had a long chat and we decided that we would continue doing the same thing and she would try to overcome her fears. Well that was yesterday and I don't really know what to do anymore. If i ask her if we're moving too fast she says no. Well I did tell her i'd call her today but it just seems so awkward now. Anyone care to explain to me what they think is going on here?

[thlst3]

I think it's a good sign. At least you had the 'talk'. I'm still trying to decipher my date.

 

Just take it slow and be patient. She told you what she's thinking and feel.

 

Continue what you're doing but be aware not to go too 'fast'.

[Orlander]

Sure, you have a woman who is afraid to be in another relationship. Either she is going to get over her fear or she is not.

 

Best way of handling this is by continuing to see her if that is what you want, but be prepared if she decides she isnt ready for a relationship. Maybe you should just continue going out with her and get to know her. Take things slow and don't push for anything but never, ever, ever let her feel that you are interested in anything less than a real relationship with her.

 

You are the man who wants a relationship with her, not her friend who will listen to how bad her past relationships were. You have to ask yourself if you would be happy just being her friend or if you really want something more.

 

 

Orlander

[heloladies21]

It's very common for a girl to have baggage. For real, every single is gonna have some story about a guy(s) who've broken their hearts. The answer to this is simple-you have to look out for yourself and tell them they need to get over it. Because you're not interested in wasting your time here on someone who isn't open to being serious about you.

 

So drop the nice guy thing for a moment and stick up for yourself. Because she was actually telling you "I have doubts that you're a sincere good guy." How else could you react to something like that expect to be defensive and defend yourself.

[MushroomGod]

It's very common for a girl to have baggage. For real, every single is gonna have some story about a guy(s) who've broken their hearts. The answer to this is simple-you have to look out for yourself and tell them they need to get over it. Because you're not interested in wasting your time here on someone who isn't open to being serious about you.

 

So drop the nice guy thing for a moment and stick up for yourself. Because she was actually telling you "I have doubts that you're a sincere good guy." How else could you react to something like that expect to be defensive and defend yourself.

 

Yeah when she had that talk you was looking to see if you'd hurt her. At that point you should have differentiated yourself from the other guys.

 

I would have said, "Well that's the chance you have to take when you start a new relationship. I can't guarantee that we'll have a happy ending but that's the chance you have to take. When you find someone special you have to be willing to take that risk and with you I'm willing."