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Month and 1/2 IN

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So I havent posted on here in a few. But so far its been month and 1/2 since the break up. everyday it gets alittle better but have my "rollercoaster" days when i feel really lonely and sad. i still miss her alot and wish she would contact me in anyway. just hearing from her would show me she cares alittle, she just making me feel like i dont exist and meant nothing ....wish i would hear from her. But i know i shouldnt get my hopes up. still have thoughts and wonder if shes ok and if she thinks about me. wonder alot about if shes happy and if she plans on ever contacting me or if shes waiting for me to contact her. i havent gone on AIM in about a week and 1/2, well my old screen name so she doesnt ever see that im online. I know this experience is making me a better person and has given me the chance to learn from my mistakes. Just waiting for the pain and hurt and lonelness to disappear. i know its going to take a while. i still think about her alot in my mind. like every 5 mintues and i wish i could get her out of my head. But in a way i dont. i still have alittle problem with seeing if shes online but im gradually getting better and not looking. just hope in a few more months ill be back to myself. and deep down wish she will talk to me agian. i didnt do anything horrible for her not to...i guess only time will tell. well thats where im at after that amount of time. alot better compared to the first couple of weeks. thanks everyone for your help... you are all truley great people and have helped alot.

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