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I lost virginity...


gal1989
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Today I lost my virginity with a lad ive been with for 9 months. i love him and thats why i did it! there was one thing tho...... I CRIED! Has anybody else ever cried when they lost theirs?? it didnt hurt at all so thats not why, and im not sad because i lost it or anything like that! i think its because ive been with him for 9 months and its like "its finally happened sort of thing! like happiness! i cant explain it! (the sex only lasted like 4 mins but it doesnt matter lol) just wondered if anyone else has ever cried? and why? or am i the only one? lol and if you did, did u ever cry again when had sex with the person again after that? (coz i dont wanna cry again coz i was to emotional to carry on!!)

 

thank you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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I think losing your virginity to someone that you love can be a very emotional experience, and I don't think it's all all unsual that you cried. I did not cry when I lost mine, but maybe that's because I was so freaked out that I was actually having sex!

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I cried the first time, and the very last time i had it with the ex.

 

First time because it was realization of actually having sex and it was a shock. Also because it hurt.

 

Very last time, because i felt that I shouldnt have sex with someone I didnt love. However, being young back then I did and it was the worst.

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*sigh* I wish people would keep their virginity longer these days. Why is everyone is such a huge hurry? Be young! Have fun!

 

She is being young and having fun, that is why she lost her virginity.

 

I have nothing against people "losing their virginity" (ohh, that sounds mean!), because it means nothing to me. It just means you haven't done something before.

 

What I do have a problem with is when people are pressured into doing something they don't want to, virgin or non virgin, and teens doing it without understanding what they are doing.

 

 

But the OP did it with someone she has been with for 9 months, way longer than most teens nowadays, if she is in love with the guy, great!!!

 

 

gal1989,

 

Sex involves a lot of emotions, so it is normal to cry the first times, and sometimes later down the road. I guess sometimes you can call it "crying from happiness" when you realize you are there, sharing your body with the person you want to share your entire life with, the person you love.

 

Don't worry, keep practicing and be safe, it will get way better

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must say I'm about to give away my virginess to someone I have no love feelings and future with, just b/c 99% of the people here seems to think easy about sex. I'm 20,5 now and didn't do it with the boy I loved for 9months although we really loved each other. So I guess now he started doing it with someone else just after a short time. So why should I wait, and I will have that 99% chance that my partner where I would like to spend my life with has done that before (with several people). I always gave a lot of value at being virgin and doing that with the 'right' person but I also see that it can hurt even more when that relationship wouldn't work out. And I think as well that the idea that my future boyfriend has done that with someone b/c he loved her with whole his heart could make me feel much more jealous and making me feel less special than when he has done that just b/c he had a need of having sex. I really disliked the idea to have sex with someone who has been 'inside' other people, but now I ask myself: what's the difference between going his hand/tongue/penis going inside that.. so that makes me feel less worse. And also, bodycells are changing whole the time, a lot of people indeed prefer skilled people, especially boys can do that without having love feelings, afterwards they often won't even think about that girl,..

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Don't try to justify something you don't really believe just for the sake of conforming to society... and ESPECIALLY don't do it just because your ex decided to give it up easily. It's an uncommon thing these days to actually value your virginity. I know I didn't, the only thing I cared about was getting rid of it before I graduated high school and once I did, I was happy with it. I did lose it to someone I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with though. We both did actually, so I ended up placing a pretty high importance on the fact that we lost our virginity to each other. Like you, I was pretty upset when she tried to throw that away the very night we broke up with a one night stand...

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may I ask what your reason is to keep your virginity?

I mean.. for the other person I needn't. Maybe religious in your case?

But sex could also be power, if I would give in I guess I would get done so much more (other things) than if I'm not

 

I'm a non religious virgin because i want sex with a commitment( via long term boyfriend or husband.I don't believe in casual sex.How is sex is power ?Hey if sex was power i wouldn't be a virgin right now and i would have my 2 male friends kissing my feet.

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I'm a non religious virgin because i want sex with a commitment( via long term boyfriend or husband.I don't believe in casual sex.How is sex is power ?Hey if sex was power i wouldn't be a virgin right now and i would have my 2 male friends kissing my feet.

 

Sex can be powerfull, as can be seen in today's world. Basically everything revolves around sex, as as much as we hate it, and try to rationalize it, the only real objective of any human being, is to reproduce.

 

How can it be powerfull? Here is a small story.

 

Back in my Uni. days, I had to take the Economy subject. The teacher was awfull, he was doing it just for an extra income, but had no teaching experience nor attitude. Needless to say, on the first two (of four) exams, we all failed.

 

Heck, all the group got together to make the homework, and usually we weren't able to get it done, as it was way too hard and long.

 

In the third exam, this blonde big breasted girl, dumb as dumb can be, got the top grade (and only 5 out of 25 pople approved the exam), and by top score I mean almost 100. On the last exam, she and her friend approved, the friend managed to get such a good score that she made it through.

 

 

That is quite common in universities, as much as people deny it.

 

 

Another example would be the "trophy wife / girlfriend". Gets all she wants, because she looks good and gives it to the guy whenever he wants it.

 

 

Obviously, it is up to you to decide if you are going to use sex for leverage. But it can be done, and it can be quite powerfull. Here there is an old saying, I'm going to try to translate it, "A pair of breasts can move more than a pair of carts" (Un par de senos pueden más que un par de carretas).

 

FYI, I don't think it is appropiate, but the point was to show that it can be done, and that many people live by it.

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I'm a non religious virgin because i want sex with a commitment( via long term boyfriend or husband.I don't believe in casual sex.How is sex is power ?Hey if sex was power i wouldn't be a virgin right now and i would have my 2 male friends kissing my feet.

 

 

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I've wanted to ask you this for a long time.

 

Don't you think that you've put a huge burden on yourself with all this virginity issue?

 

You are 30, so you'll be dating guys in their mid 30s. Around that age, most of the guys in the dating scene are:

 

a) Divorced

b) Have had their fair share of relationships

 

I'm sure that about 95% of them are used to having sex in a relationship, and they expect it.

 

 

One person I know told me "At this stage of my life, I'm not up for foolish games and wasting time" (and a female at that). So I can see most of those guys looking for someone else the second you put your virginity on the table. Basically, you are asking them to get into a sexless relationship, the kind they usually had in their teens or early 20s, for most people that would be a huge step backwards.

 

Also, I can tell you that all my long term relationships started being quite sexual.

 

Also, I can tell you that from my personal experience, losing my virginity opened a new world for me, as it was a barrier. I always feared losing my virginity, so I never ventured into any relationship.

 

 

Last thing I've got to say, is that by not allowing yourself to have relationships, you are lacking the experience that most people have by their early 20s. So you are not only asking guys to get into a sexless relationship, but also to have a relationship with a 30 y/o with the relationship maturity of a person in their early 20s.

 

 

But well, that is only my opinion, and you knwo what they say about opinions.

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Suesser Tod,

 

My opinion verbal intimacy is more powerful then sex and anybody who thinks sex is more powerful then verbal probably going to have relationship issue. A relationship can't be base on sex.

Suesser Tod,the men that are in my life are either virgins,asexual,incel or vocel so the sex issue isn't an issue.The problem i have with men right now is most men over 30 don't want a commitment because of female baggage.i'm trying to "date" Suesser Tod but i'm not going to have casual sex to get a man.I want sex with a commitment(lt boyfriend or husband).I'm not compromising.

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But the OP did it with someone she has been with for 9 months, way longer than most teens nowadays, if she is in love with the guy, great!!!

 

 

I will be 19 in May, and I'm still a virgin. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 and a half years now, and we have not had sex yet. (Although I forsee it happening soon... )

 

When I think about losing my virginity to the guy I'm with, the thought of it makes me want to cry, because it makes me happy to think that I would be losing my virginity to this wonderful person who means the world to me.

 

It seems to me as if this was a postive experience for you, unlike what I've heard from my friends about their first time.

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I will be 19 in May, and I'm still a virgin. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 and a half years now, and we have not had sex yet. (Although I forsee it happening soon... )

 

When I think about losing my virginity to the guy I'm with, the thought of it makes me want to cry, because it makes me happy to think that I would be losing my virginity to this wonderful person who means the world to me.

 

It seems to me as if this was a postive experience for you, unlike what I've heard from my friends about their first time.

 

What would you do if your boyfriends said he would only have sex with you if you two got married.?Would you get married to have sex or leave him.?

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What would you do if your boyfriends said he would only have sex with you if you two got married.?Would you get married to have sex or leave him.?

 

I would marry him because I love him, not just for the sex. I would definitely not leave him simply because of not wanting to have sex before marriage.

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I'm a non religious virgin because i want sex with a commitment( via long term boyfriend or husband.I don't believe in casual sex.How is sex is power ?Hey if sex was power i wouldn't be a virgin right now and i would have my 2 male friends kissing my feet.

 

I entirely agree with you. I like at least a committed monogamous relationship before I have sex with someone. A guy just saying "I love you is not commitment.

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. How much time do you consider "long-term"?

 

thats a really good question. I wanna know that too. But really, I dont really think we're talking about time per se when we're talking long term. I think its more whether you have future goals and intentions with the man you're dating? Is it? thats just my opinion anyways

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