kiama Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 my bf just ended things on monday. i had become too much to handle.... been tog 2 and half years. i developed depression over the last year of our relationship and my whole personality changed. im waiting for paperwork to be done so i can get my uk passport (its taken 3 years already) - thats a long story... so since weve been together hes supported me entirely, i cant work til i get this passport, so had no money, do nothing all day, and live in his bedroom... it got me depressed. i changed, became so different, got insecure so found it hard to trust him and always questioned him. became controlling, totally sufforcated him, but he was all i had and i was entirely dependant on him. it pushed him over the edge. i NEVER told him about the depression however - was too ashamed, and believed i could get over it on my own. he said that for months now he has just lied to himself and told himself that we would work, and that it didnt. he said he just didnt want to tell me cos it would hurt my feelings. weve split a good few times before, but i said i would change and we tried again. thing is i couldnt change without medicin so we were going round in circles.i understand that i made him miserable but this time round i have a solution and know the only way things will be different is if i get medical help. but he wont here it. is this because he so doubts ill ever change? ive now told him about the depression and how it altered my ways etc, but he says its not me.. its him not wanting to be with me. he says hes not happy with me. WE WERE PERFECT AND HE LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY BEFORE THE DEPRESSION GOT TO ME. so how can he just not see iv a solution to the problem now. he says he just wants to be single, have his freedom back. i asked if we could talk about trying again when my circumstances change, and he says he doubts it. im so lost.how can he just be over me like that.could deep down in his heart he believes we could work out and that he just has to maybe SEE a change in me first. he reckons he will be 99% happy in a month. im so devastated. Im 26 hes 23.... he said he wanted to marry me and that i was the best thing that had ever happened to him... and he meant it when he said it, so can it be possible to just forget those feelings. he says im being selfish. hes being very blunt about everything and is acting like hes getting on fine. was making jokes during our msn messenger chat...saying he was so exited about going away next week (hes just booked it). Is he rebelling against me now? Doing everything that i wouldnt let him do without me.... is this a phase? or is this a dead end? i want to think that when i get my passport, a job, earn money and buy a house, he could visit and see how well ive done, and we could give it a go.. i really am hoping that. is it possible for someone to break up with someone, and give them a chance in the future, is it likely in my case? i just cant leave him. i just cant do it. i need a way to get him back and prove how with medication things would be different... :sad: :sad: :sad: we live in a very small area, and i will alway see him out. is there a way i can behave to make him see what hes missing? would getting a makeover - and dressing to kill have ANY effect..... oh my god this is the end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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