trust

[grn]

Hey everyone,

 

I've just started to get into a relationship with a girl a little younger than me. Its all progressing quite quickly between us emotionally, but she wants to keep it quiet as its still earlydays. Shes a lovely girl and she says shes in love with me even though weve not been together long.

She works at my local so guys chat her up a bit sometimes, I've never been bothered by this because shes a free spirit type anyway.

But some of the guys who know us both have told me shes a bit of a compulsive liar and bed hopper.

I dont mind her being a free spirit and having lots of guy friends, but now I've been told this; how do I tell if its not just innocent chatting and friendly banter but cheating?

 

any helpwould be great.

[Stu147]

Hey everyone,

 

I've just started to get into a relationship with a girl a little younger than me. Its all progressing quite quickly between us emotionally, but she wants to keep it quiet as its still earlydays. Shes a lovely girl and she says shes in love with me even though weve not been together long.

She works at my local so guys chat her up a bit sometimes, I've never been bothered by this because shes a free spirit type anyway.

But some of the guys who know us both have told me shes a bit of a compulsive liar and bed hopper.

I dont mind her being a free spirit and having lots of guy friends, but now I've been told this; how do I tell if its not just innocent chatting and friendly banter but cheating?

 

any helpwould be great.

 

 

The first thing I would do is to question these guys' motives in telling you this? Is it purely in your best interests or do they have their own agenda? Are you sure it's not just malicious rumour?

 

I would advise you to get to know this girl and give her a fair chance. Make your own judgements, don't let idle speculation put you off. If you really trust what these guys are saying then fine, keep it in mind, but still give the girl a chance. Who says that just because she might have done something before that she will do it when she's with you? Maybe she sees you as a lot more special than past flings. A girl's past is past, and she should be allowed to make mistakes as you have doubtless done. But she should not be tarred for the rest of her life with the same brush, that's just really not fair.

 

Trust your own instincts, ignore the gossips. I wish you two all the best...

[heloladies21]

Stick up for yourself and confront the issue head on. Tell her you want to be in a real relationship here and you'renot about wasting your time with someone who isn't serious about this. Then see what she has to say. but if she's not with youon th idea, then time for you to cut it off as you would just develop stronger feelings for someone who isn't for real about you.

[Jayar]

Her jumping into "love" so quickly suggests an insecurity. And insecurity CAN definitely lead to "bed-hopping" behaviour in a quest for her to validate herself. Or it could be a rumour. The thing is, you would never know if you don't give her a shot, right?

 

My suggestion is keep going as is, but keep your ears and eyes open and watch for the signs something is wrong. And if you do find something concrete that is suspicious, leave. Don't try to justify it.

[grn]

thanks for the advice, I'm gonna ask her if the relationship is serious to her aswell and ignore the rumour unless I hear something concrete.

 

thanks again

[ghost69]

it's all heresay. _ _ _ _ blockers.