Scorpio8647 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 How pathetic am I really? I mean it has been since November of 2006 since my ex broke up with me and cut off contact. Yet here I am still grieving. I can't forgive myself for losing trust in him & I went to extremes like snooping through his e-mail and etc. He found out and was furious and he broke up with me saying that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.I lost his trust and he hates me for it. Being the stupid person I am, I had contacted him not too long ago apologizing and he basically gave me the cold shoulder. He yelled at me telling me that we have nothing to discuss and that he was officially through with me. He basically told me to move on with my life and I told him that I missed him deeply and all he could say was that he was sorry that he met me, that he could give a crap about how I feel, then he proceeded to hang up in my face. That made me feel even worse . That hit me so bad and it still does today, his words hurt me so much. I can't seem to move on, I'm constantly thinking about him and I miss him so much. He was the only person there for me. He made me laugh and he made me happy.Some days I actually feel like I'm moving on and then I relapse back into depression. This cycle is really killing me. I keep thinking back to the past, I miss the good times. I also keep thinking about what if? What if I didn't do what I did, we'd probably still be together now. But because of my insecurities I lost him and I just can't seem to accept that I made a mistake and I need to move on. It's seriously not healthy for me and I know this. I also realize that I was ENTIRELY too dependent on my ex for happiness because now that he's gone, I have to make myself happy. I have to move on but everything seems so lonely now. It's nothing without him, don't get me wrong I have friends but they weren't like my boyfriend.He was very special to me and I could relate to him alot, he was my bestfriend.I miss the phone calls, the late night talks, I miss hanging out with him. It's been since November I should have been over this by now! Quote Link to comment
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