How long should you wait before sleeping with someone?

[Steven1607307306]

All of that makes perfect sense. Experience will make your relationship stronger or weaker. However, if you've been in many long-term relationships, you can start to judge how a person will turn out later on in the relationship. For example if a girl show just a bit of jelousy over something stupid, chances are she's going to be a jealous person which is a no no for me.

 

With my girlfriend, things that would usually get other girls pissed off, and jealous...she doesn't trip over it. Like I went to go visit two of my ex's one night because I was bored, and my girlfriend called while I was at the house. I told her who I was with (while the others were trying desperately to make her jealous by calling my name in seductive ways) and she just told me to call her when I got home.

 

I got home thinking she was going to complain about it, and all she said was, "I trust you. I know that I have you and they don't."

 

That right there makes me think, wow this girl is a keeper.

It's not just that, all that is, is a small example, but her trust in me, makes me feel like we will be together for a while.

[Batya33]

Yes and if the behavior you like and respect continues over a long period of time then you will know whether you are romantically compatible. Many - infinite - examples of someone tolerating behavior in the beginning because of the honeymoon stage and later not liking it so much.

 

As far as you going to visit your exes I am surprised that you would do so and allow them to try and make her feel insecure (why didn't you leave the house and call her from outside, or from a private room?) given your insistence that you love her. I would think that if your exes were the only people you could visit when you are bored (a little surprising, given how immature they behave) that you would call her before you went not when you were already there and knowing that their behavior might not be so mature.

[MrCrazy2u]

Yes

 

 

 

Yes yes

 

 

 

Yes yes yes

 

 

One example is not good enough to determine whether or not she's gonna be jealous in the long run. I wasn't jealous AT ALL during the first year of my last relationship... and then when she started hanging out with one of her ex's I started getting a little jealous, but I NEVER said anything because you cannot control what someone else does. I clearly stated that I was uncomfortable with her hanging out with this guy, but I never told her what to do. And after she cheated on me with said ex it was incredibly difficult NOT to be jealous for the remaining two years of the relationship... but during those two years my trust for her was called into question a few more times anyway.

 

As for hanging out with ex's... yeah, not a good idea buddy. Every time I go back home, which is every other month I end up hanging out with my ex and we **** hardcore every single time. There's a reason we're ex's, but there's also a reason that we dated for 3 years and if the physical attraction is still that strong it wouldn't be fair AT ALL to hang out with her whenever she finds another boyfriend (or when I get another girlfriend) because chances are those feelings between us would come rushing back, as they always do. Yeah, a lot of people can control their feelings or don't have feelings towards ex's, but why even put yourself in a possible predicament like that, it's just asking for trouble.

[Steven1607307306]

 

 

 

 

As for hanging out with ex's... yeah, not a good idea buddy. Every time I go back home, which is every other month I end up hanging out with my ex and we **** hardcore every single time. There's a reason we're ex's, but there's also a reason that we dated for 3 years and if the physical attraction is still that strong it wouldn't be fair AT ALL to hang out with her whenever she finds another boyfriend (or when I get another girlfriend) because chances are those feelings between us would come rushing back, as they always do. Yeah, a lot of people can control their feelings or don't have feelings towards ex's, but why even put yourself in a possible predicament like that, it's just asking for trouble.

 

 

I'm pretty confident I can control myself. Either way, the fact that they WERE so immature, is the reason I haven't hung out with them since. I still hang out with other girls that I have slept with. As long as I have friends who accept that we can't "**** hardcore" anymore, then I really have nothing to worry about.

[Day_Walker]

I believe that the best rule to follow is that when a period of time has past and you are comfortable enough with that person as to where if it did not work out that you would not regret sleeping with that person.

[Batya33]

I believe that the best rule to follow is that when a period of time has past and you are comfortable enough with that person as to where if it did not work out that you would not regret sleeping with that person.

 

What do you mean by "comfortable enough" - where the person having sex believes that the relationship meets his/her standards of intimacy (for some that might mean talking all night the first night you meet, for others, knowing the person several months and being in a serious relationship, etc).

[Day_Walker]

What do you mean by "comfortable enough" - where the person having sex believes that the relationship meets his/her standards of intimacy (for some that might mean talking all night the first night you meet, for others, knowing the person several months and being in a serious relationship, etc).

 

It can mean that or it could mean anything else that any person wants to bundle with it. Some people are going to consider different factors and thus will become "comfortable enough" at different times. Of course I could state a hard and fast rule but that answer is only going to be mine.