Worried about niece and nephews...

[MrsG1982]

My sister's divorce was final this past December and she is already seeing a man and planning on getting married in a few days. From the moment I met this man I knew something wasn't right. I voiced my concern but was told my opinion or concern was not welcome. This man has lied about his name, where he is from, given false info about his college football "career" and the reasons why he doesn't have custody of his child. He has basically taken bits and pieces of another man's life and claimed it as his own. I found out a lot of info and confronted them with it. I was threatened and cussed out by both of them. I am very very concerned for my niece and nephews. I am soo afraid that this man could harm them if given the chance. He has already shown how violent he can be when confronted with lies that he has told. My sister is so infatuated with him...she isn't the same person I knew a few months ago. She is making very selfish decisions and putting her children at risk. She told me that if I make any more comments or speak of my concerns with the childrens father she will "hurt" me. I don't want to lose the relationship with my niece and nephews but standing by while she brings a dangerous man into their lives is impossible. I know that their father is also a very mean man and that being with him is probably just as bad. I don't know what if any legal rights our family has to step in and protect them. Any advice is welcome and very much needed!

[arwen]

Hey mrsG,

 

Welcome to ENA!

 

I think that the only thing you can do at this point is to avoid conflict. The moment you start mingling in their business, they will most likely lash out. I am afraid that the only way to stay close to your niece and nephew is to appear accepting of the situation towards your sister and her fiance. That way you keep the relationship seemingly fine, while you can be there for the children. If anything would go wrong, you would see that much earlier than when things are already bad between you and your sister.

 

It is her responsibility and choice, and unless you actually witness something that would indicate abuse or violence, I think it will be no use to contact legal services. However, if they get married, I think that IF there were things in the past that would for instance indicate things about the way custody was established after his divorce, I think that that would show up in the records, right? What did you find out that you worry about your niece/nephew?

 

Arwen