Shall I Email

[rusloi]

Hey....just a quickie:

 

i havent had contact with my ex for 3 weeks now.....now i really would like to see if she is ok.

 

would it be ok to email her...i was thinking someething along the lines of:

 

i thought u would like this:

 

(link to takeshi's castle on youtube)

 

hope your ok x x

 

p.s

 

has holly (our dog we got together) been spayed yet? (i know...but i do

 

worry that she hasnt had it done as it could effect her health)

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

gotta admit that i do really miss her and everyday i see her on msn and dont contact but i think an email would be less of a push

[splashdown]

Totally up to you, brother. Only you know if you're ready for contact.

 

Just don't get your hopes up for a particular (or any) response. She may not respond nicely...she may not respond at all.

 

What are you hoping the result of contact to be?

[rusloi]

dunno?.......just wanna make contact....break up was weird

 

she finished with me but behaved like i dumped her i.e. asking me to clear all my stuff out, saying she couldnt cope with seeing me or even hearing my voice, saying she still loved me and missed me..........suppose those last words are what makes me think there is hope.................

..............besides i do miss her and dont want her to think i dont care anymore

[disgruntledbaker]

the final words don't matter, even if they're what you want to hear. if she follows them up with "get your things out of here," then for right now at least, there is no hope.

 

i say don't contact her unless you want to have your heart shattered all over again. if thats what its going to take for you to think of her differently (as it took for me) or at least for you to try to put her out of your mind, then go ahead. but be warned, and don't be surprised.

 

if you're honestly just checking in in an attempt to be friends (and after 3 weeks i have a hard time believing that) then theres no reason not to unless she asked you to stay clear of her. then you've gotta respect her wishes

[splashdown]

I think (and this just one man's opinion) that from what you've said, no contact is the way to go. You've still got hope, and until you let that go and move on, NO CONTACT!

 

If she wants to get back together, she knows how to find you. Until then, she dumped you. Have some pride, and NO CONTACT! This too shall pass...

[Parsley]

Stick it out. I know it's hard, but it's for the best!

 

Don't rely on her 'last words' at all. The last words I received from my ex (the dumper) were "I'm sorry if I upset you sweetie, I miss you. Night night xx" and that was a month ago. He ignored me only hours after he said this.

[heloladies21]

You'd be contacting herfor the wrong intentions. To keep open the possibility of getting her back? Or for your own comfort? Any way you slice it, you only do yourself a disservice at this point by keeping in touch.

 

She broke it off with you and break ups are for real. In situations like yours, getting back together in a successful long term relationship never happens. Not once.

[rusloi]

ok cheers for that....

[blender]

I'm of the belief that if the ex is NOT asking you or telling you, or making any intentional effort to be in contact, then there is usually not an 'emotionally healthy" reason to be in contact... but you have to ask yourself, "does she want this relationship and what indication do I have that she does?"

 

If your answer is "I know she's not interested, but I miss her, and wish I could change her mind".. then do NOT contact her in any way... but if your HONEST answer is: "I believe she loves me, misses me, and really wants to talk to me"... well then follow that question up again with: "what clear mature honest indication do I have that this is how she is feeling?"

 

She knows where to contact you, call you, and if she had the guts to "end the relationship" then she will have the courage to "contact you" if she wants to try again as a couple..right?

 

It's tough to give advice when we don't know her, so just ask yourself some honest questions and answer them honestly, then you'll know what is "right for you to do"... good luck.. let us know what you decide, Best, Blender

[rusloi]

cheers man.....think that is a good point...if she was strong enough to finish it then she would be strong enough to get in touch....mmmmm...

[kate111]

Don't do it!!

 

I was feeling fine yesterday until I received an email from him in response to one I sent him. Then last niht the insomnia and self doubt thoughts set back in.

 

You will not find out anything new, it will set back your process and you will feel crappy.

[comfyshoes]

Couldn't agree more Kate!

I made it through my 30 days NC (after many attempts) on to text her and have her tell me that she has no interest in being in contact with me and that i make her feel uncomfortable. Made me feel * * * *ty. made me go back to hold habits of looking at myspace and so on.

I'm feeling like i have to start all over again!

DON'T DO IT. someone said that repaltionships like these seldom work out if you get back together. You can take that as gospel from a six times loser (with the same woman).

Stay strong!

shoes