Hyphenating baby's last name - opinions?

[Dilly]

But where does it stop? Two hundred years from now people could have like 10 last names.

 

I just started a genealogical chart for my family so our children can see where they came from, on both my side and my wife's side. In my opinion, it serves the same purpose, and if my kids don't like their last name then they can change it when they are legally able to.

 

Good points Iceman! You're right, what happens with her children ---- By that time, kids will go by their social security numbers or national identifying number....hahahaha.

 

I guess just like my parents are leaving it up to me to come up with my own rules for naming my children, my child will have to do the same.

[RayKay]

This is how I feel. I anticipate that hyphenation will become more of a common practice and my family name, though boring, conveys lineage that I'm very proud of and while my partner's last name is intriguing, he has little to do with his paternal family now and has over the last two years seriously contemplated a name change (full name change). Nonetheless, I like his last name and I like mine. We'll see.

 

I grew up in a household with three different last names. Mine and my siblings from our bio dad, my mother whom switched her name back, and my stepfather and stepbrothers last name! Then my siblings and I sometimes used the mothers maiden (our second middle) and our dads last together....lol

 

I actually don't care much for the lineage from my dad's name...he is not much part of our life, and I identify myself more with mums family...BUT, after 27 years of being known as that, it is hard to be known as someone different too!

[Dilly]

I grew up in a household with three different last names. Mine and my siblings from our bio dad, my mother whom switched her name back, and my stepfather and stepbrothers last name! Then my siblings and I sometimes used the mothers maiden (our second middle) and our dads last together....lol

 

I actually don't care much for the lineage from my dad's name...he is not much part of our life, and I identify myself more with mums family...BUT, after 27 years of being known as that, it is hard to be known as someone different too!

 

I get it now. From your first post, I wasn't quite sure what you meant. This makes more sense to me. It is pretty interesting. So looking back, you like using the middle name more? ORRRRR would you just elect to go with your mother's last name? What if my child decides she likes his last name and not mine or my last name and not his? I just don't want to impose anything on her. She's an individual and should be givent he right to decide. I wouldn't impose a religion on her either. That's her decision. I just want to present her with some idea of where she comes from. Since the convention currently is for her father and I to have a last name, maybe someday she can arrive at her own last name. I'm sure my partner would encourage her to create one if she so desired.

 

I guess kids never get to decide their names, otherwise we wouldn't name them until they were five or six and they'd dub themselves after their favorite candy or animal or star. HA!!!

[RayKay]

I use the last-last name mostly, I use both the middle name and last name together when signing documents, or to sound important

 

My mother added hers, giving us the option to use it or not as we wished.

 

You can always do the traditional his last name, and yours as a middle or second-middle name, and she can make choice when she is older.

[Dilly]

Yeah, I think using a second middle name sounds pretty reasonable at this point. That, or hyphenating. My parents would be happy if it's at least part of her name.

[sophie274]

Hey Dilly

 

I personally like the middle name last name combo. It will give your daughter the choice, as nowadays people will call you whatever you want them to call you!

 

On a more philosophical note, I personally am not sure how much a name means. I have my father's last name (parents are happily married etc ...) but can not wait to give it up when I get married! It's from a different culture (not American) and totally unpronounceable for all Americans - huge curse. I don't like the way it sounds and I hate people tripping over it. I don't think a name has a huge importance tying someone to their family - there are stronger bonds of loyalty. I do agree with Imthatgirl that it might be confusing/complicated at school if you and the father do not stay together.

 

In the world of weird compromise stories: I know a girl whose parents both decided to keep their individual last names when they got married. Since they couldn't decide what name the children should have, they gave the mother's last name to the first one, and the father's last name to the second one. So the brother and sister are of the same parents but do not have the same last name! Weird and LOL (IMO)

[scarew]

Dilly,

 

Just remember that whatever you're decision is its not permanant. I am in the process of changing my last name for the third time in my short life. How serious are you and your bf? I mean, if you think you might get married in the near future, a temporary hyphenation until you take his last name would be fine!

 

If you are unsure of your future, just a thought. A coworker of mine is desperately trying to change her childs last name now that her and her husband are divorced. I am not sure what the laws are where you live, but here you have to get the signiture of both parents to change it. Her little girls last name is Semens. My friend never took her husbands name when they got married but she did opt to give the baby his name. Now she is regretting it.

 

Personally I prefer two last names as opposed to hyphenated.

 

If you have a child that is secure in who they are, they're last name will not matter. If they are raised in an unstable environment, they will probably rebel no matter what decision you make. I guess what I am trying to say is that the name isn't where it counts. You will be a great mother and a name, well its just a name.

[BornToResist]

I was going to hyphenate my baby's last name. It was going to be mine-mybabydaddy's, but in the hospital he threw a hissy fit and wouldn't hear of it. He insisted that it would be his last name or nothing. So I gave my baby my last name.

 

I feel conflicted on this because I did have a son, and it's a "thing" to have the son carry on his father's last name, but I figure if he wants to change it later on, I'll help him do that.

 

My baby daddy is going to do everything within his power to have it changed, but I really don't think he can. Perhaps he can have his added on (I've heard judges will do that) but I don't have much of a problem with that.

 

I just had a hard time with the idea my child wouldn't have the same last name as me. I'm already so happy that he has mine. I've taken him to the doctor a few times and they automatically assume he's got my last name and it's way more convenient. Same will go when I enroll him in school. I know I'll be doing most of these sort of things and I don't want anybody mistaking me for a babysitter or someone else other than his mother.

[BellaDonna]

I myself have a hyphenated last-name (when we married I hyphenated), but I plan on giving the baby my husband's last name only.... I figure I'll keep it simple for my kid.... it would be a long name for them to write in gradeschool. (Sometimes it feels awful long to write for me.)

 

But I also see a lot of kids with hyphenated names nowadays, so it's all a matter of what feels best for you.

 

BellaDonna

[ImThatGirl]

I thought of this thread and you this morning at my son's school, Dilly.

 

I went in to volunteer during my son's class. When it was almost time for me to leave, all the kids lined up to go to lunch. As they filed out, they all said "By Mrs. (son's last name.)" Obviously I just let it go sometimes rather than correcting. But then I'm left thinking: Heck who am I? Mrs. ______, Mrs. ________, Miss My last name? It's just uncomfortable and complicated. You know?

[Dilly]

Certainly interesting perspectives abound!!! I just love all the thought-provoking feedback. THANKS everyone!!! It's really interesting how many people hate hyphenation.