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Goodbye, ENAers


CynicalGuitarist
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I hope you stick around. I'm not going give you a bunch crap. My husband killed himself 9 years ago, and my life turned to living hell. Now my son who worshiped him also killed himself on June 14th. He did it almost exactly the same way. I'm in so much pain I can't even describe it to you. I've also lost 3 cousins to this. So if you seriously think you have end it, remember you'll probably take at least one other person with eventually. You may escape your pain but others will pay for it instead. Please try to hand in there.

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  • 4 weeks later...

You so don't know what down is...the rest of my life and my 12 year old son's without my wife.

Birthdays...probably 45 of them.

Christmas'...another 45.

His graduation, college commencement, wedding, grandkids...

And every stinking day for the rest of my life...

 

You're 19! Listen to the advice being given, there is so much worse going on around us.

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I feel sorry for you kimsguy57

 

yes, I think a lot of people just don't easily show their problems (also b/c often it's not strategic, I think and b/c often other people aren't 'waiting' to hear 'complaining'/other people's problems). So maybe even b/c of that it could seem you are alone with your problems.

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Dear CynicalGuitarist

I really think you are Bi_poler, i have seen the way your emails have been going on here and you really seem to have good days and bad, I must ask have you seen your doc about there mood swings,

 

If you can deal with this ill ness as I see it you can change your life for the better with out ending it

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Hi cynical..I just signed up on this forum a few miuntes ago and was searching around in the suicide forum just to see what threads people write.

 

Although I have never experienced situations that you have experienced, I been depressed in the past as well . I am doing okay right now and I feel I have overcome most of the depression.

 

Actually, I get depressed in certain situations. Most of the time its social situautions. At the same time I am pretty much anxiuos about my career as well. I have serious doubts about my competency and abiltiy to do things.

 

Its such a pity that today , people are judged on looks, and how " COOL" you are. These things really anger me a lot , but its something which we all have to accept.

 

When you are depressed, you are almost possessed by some demon inside. Most of the time its not you who are talking , but the "Depressed" you inside. Your mind tricks you and your negative mindset will just punish you everytime you experience something horrible. I used to feel the same all the time when i was depressed.You become a slave to your mind and just do whatever it wants you to do.

 

Right now your mindset is so negative that you feel the need to end the problem once and for all.

 

But right now you need to seek help froma professioanl ..a psychiatrist who may prescribe some medication....thats the first step..I am sure counselling and talking about your problems will help you..

 

Maybe the world aint so bad afterall...or maybe the good people in this world log on to enotalone..hehe...Just look..you say you want to commit suicide and people are dying to help you...this maybe one of the longest threads on the forum..

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Dear CynicalGuitarist

I really think you are Bi_poler, i have seen the way your emails have been going on here and you really seem to have good days and bad, I must ask have you seen your doc about there mood swings,

 

If you can deal with this ill ness as I see it you can change your life for the better with out ending it

 

My doctors don't know jack about me. I think one of the major cruxes of my problems is ADHD, but I don't wanna take medicine for it... as most ADHD medications are 3 molecules (I'm not a scientest, obviously) away from speed. I don't wanna be a speed freak; I'm way too small and skinny. So, what makes you think my doctors will successfully ever diagnose me?

 

Don't get me wrong, I still want to die... I'm just waiting around to see if this crappy movie will get any better.

 

As Mr. Bill Hicks has said before "It's just a ride".

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Cynical..

 

Whats hurts you the most..?

 

Social isolation and not being able to socialize? or the other issues like low self esteem and competency issues?

 

I am sure its the first one which is most painful....

 

I'll feel more lonely among a group of people who are happy and are able to bond with each other..where I cannot...personally its the most painful emotion i have ever experienced...its the root cause of my depression..

 

Being able to connect with the opposite sex...having a gf / support female friend is something I have been fantasizing about for a very long time.

 

What I am trying to tell you is that there are many people like us..maybe we are just born with this problem..you are not alone

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Cynical..

 

Whats hurts you the most..?

 

Social isolation and not being able to socialize? or the other issues like low self esteem and competency issues?

 

I am sure its the first one which is most painful....

 

I'll feel more lonely among a group of people who are happy and are able to bond with each other..where I cannot...personally its the most painful emotion i have ever experienced...its the root cause of my depression..

 

Being able to connect with the opposite sex...having a gf / support female friend is something I have been fantasizing about for a very long time.

 

What I am trying to tell you is that there are many people like us..maybe we are just born with this problem..you are not alone

 

Both hurt me equally. For a guy who sings, I either don't talk enough, or I talk waaaay too much.

 

But I know what you mean all too well. At this point, having a girlfriend or a girl ever being nice to me without BSing me... is pretty much a pipe dream. I guess I'd make a lousy boyfriend anyways.

 

I may not be alone, but I take that lonliness to a new level because my problems aren't easily seen on the surface. Life is nothing but a collective nightmare... but most people see it as a dream because they see nothing wrong... or of course they might know it's a nightmare, but do nothing to try and wake up.

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