my dilemma

[fruitapus]

I wrote here for advice a few weeks ago, because I suddenly broke up with my bf of 3 months who was distancing himself from me, and I regretted it. We had a good heart to heart talk about a week ago, it is too soon after his divorce to be in a serious relationship (I agree!), so he wants the freedom to see other people (not that he sounds like he's been doing much of that). Since then we have not seen each other or talked on the phone, but in email he still makes future plans for us to go camping and do stuff together, and still tells me he loves me. Today he told me that he will be working insane amounts of overtime in the next few months. We already had limited time to spend together due to work schedules, so it hurts to think that it might be a month before I see him again. I have to believe that if he really didn't care, he would have ran away when he had the chance, but I still feel like he's trying to distance himself from me more. We are in our 30's, mature people with lots of relationship experience, but this is a first for me! How do I give him his space, but hold on enough to not let this guy go? He's very special to me, treated me so well in the short time we were together. I've been chatting with guys online because I'm afraid that if I wait for this one, he'll keep me waiting forever. But I lose interest in them quickly, after all, I'm already in love with someone else.

Now while we were broken up, he found out that a band we both like is coming to town, and made plans to go see them with work friends. I also really want to go, wouldn't dream of asking him to include me with "the guys", and don't want to look like I'm spying on him. But I don't have anyone to go with, will I look like a fool going alone?

[dragon26]

Seriously, no matter why you want to go, don't do it. The band will be in town again and in the future - maybe you'll go together. If I was him and you just had this conversation and you showed up at the event - I would feel like I'm being checked up on. Also, you need to be prepared for the fact that he might be there with someone else, not just work friends. I've been in non-committed relationships and the only way I've found them to work is to keep separate situations - separated. No matter how secure you are with yourself - no woman wants to see a man they are dating with another woman.