Right thing to say

[everclear]

I'm hoping some of you guys can help me out a bit here.

 

I had been seening this girl for just over a month. However a couple of weeks ago we split up. Basically had a lot going on in her life with family issues and that. She had been totally open with me about what was going on in her life from pretty much the first date. However the breakup came out of the blue. I got a text from her one afternoon saying that she was really sorry, but she didn't want to see me anymore. Before the break up we was getting on really well we had made plans for the coming weekend and there was no other reason to think anything was up.

 

I was a bit gutted at the time, however I didn't want to make a big deal, just because I knew what she was going through. So, I just i texted her back asking if she was ok and that, and basically left it at that. Since then she hasn't contacted me.

 

I'd like to send her another text just to see hows shes getting along and let her know I'm still thinking of her. However I'm not sure if its the right thing. I've spoken to a couple of friends and have got a mixed response. Most think I should send her a text, but just keep it short. Basically saying Hi - I wanted to see how you was doing? However to me that seems a too impersonal. Saying that I'm not really sure the best way to approach it either.

 

What I'm looking for advice on is :

 

1. Do you think it would be right to contact her?

2. If I do contact her, whats the best way to approach it / right thing to say?

 

I want to give her, her space but I feel I'll regret it if I don't say anything.

 

Any advice would be great!

[Locke2121]

No Contact! None at all. If the two of you are meant to be together, she'll contact you. But for now, put her in the past as best you can and get on with living your life.

[Beec]

First welcome to enotalone, stick around.

 

Whether you contact her or not should really depend on how you can handle such contact. You'll find man advocates on this forum that will tell you to have no contact with an ex. I'm for that when a person needs to have some space from the ex in order to let the hurts heal and let them be able to get some emotional control. If you see the ex and explode in anger, beg and plead for them to come back to you or have any emotional display, then you are usually making a mistake. If you can have contact with her and nto be emotional, and when you have just had it and not gotten a very positive response, you won't go into a big tailspin and feel gutted again, then I'd think about what you suggest.

 

As far as how to do it, I think a simple message or call seeing how she is is the way to go. If given the choice, I prefer the call, but that requires mre control from the person calling.

 

Good luck.

[everclear]

Thanks for the replies guys! I'm not one that believes in strict no contact, I try to act based the situation. However on this occasion I feel torn about the best things to do here. I want to give her the space she needs, however I don't want to loose her because I have left not made the effort.

 

As you mentioned Beec, I'd prefer to to call her as well - however the only thing that is putting me off doing that is its one of those things that kinda needs a immediate response from her. So just calling out of the blue, might make things awkward or uncomfortable for her. At least with a text, you can say you was in the shower or whatever So doesn't such a immediate response.