Help

[science2424]

Please help me on this. So I'm 18 and in college on a full-ride scholarship. My bf is 17 and in high school. He's not the most dedicated student, in fact he ditches quite often, always with some excuse or another. His dad got on his case yesterday about him not cleaning the house enough, and my bf got really upset and decided he wasn't gonna put gas in his car and was just gonna get stranded an hour away from home and force his dad to pick him up. (Real mature, right?) Well, I convinced him not to do that. He and I both have a slight alcohol problem, and recently he started smoking weed. I said I didn't want to smoke any, but he begged me so much, that I tried it. I'm also always saying I don't want to drink anymore, but he's always buying more and bringing it to me. He even wants to get a fake id to be able to access alcohol easier. And on top of all this, he's been making me pay for literally everything every time we hang out. Motels when he comes to visit, food...everything. Sorry for the list of grievances, and trust me, the list of his positive attributes would be much longer, but I'm not concerned with that right now. Anyway, I just don't know who to turn to about this because my mom would freak out and anyone else's opinion would be too biased. What do you guys think I should do?

[bigthings46]

Im a guy and I think you should drop him like a bad habit. Even though your having a tough time doing that. Don't get messed up with that crap @ your age. These years coming up mean soooooooooooooo much for your future and where you will be in 5 years.

[astaro]

sounds to me like you've outgrown him.

[sophie274]

It sounds like you are in quite the destructive relationship.

 

You are in high school. That time is for studying, playing sports, opening yourself up to the world. I think you realize this, and what negative effects drugs and alcohol will have on your life. You must stop going down this slope you are on, and it sounds like the only way to do that is for you to break up with him. Please please stop seeing him - it will be so much easier to get back on track now than when you have become more locked into your habits.

[science2424]

No I'm not in high school, it's college. You have to admit that a lot of drinking does go on in college, which is why I'm kind of unsure if the drinking thing is bad or not. Well, I know it's bad, but I mean, I'm unsure if it's any more of a problem than anyone else has. Thanks for the reply.

[Parsley]

I agree that this is a situation you have to get yourself out of. You say you wanted to cut back on drinking, but he bought you more. You didn't want to smoke but he wore you down. Difficult as it will be, you shouldn't let someone control you like he is.

[Aleadragonhawk]

It might help if you take a step back, think realistically about the things you've been doing (that you want to stop), then take a look at your boyfriends reaction. You're stating that you want to cut back on your consumption of alcohol, a substance that's proven to be harmful to your health. Instead of respecting this, he feeds your addiction. You've stated that you don't want to get involved in smoking marijuana, but he pressured you into smoking it anyway. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who has so little respect for your health and your STATED wishes? Add in the immaturity and his bad scholastic record, and you come up with a guy who's headed nowhere faster than a speeding train. Ditch him, he's absolutely no good for you - actually, he's dragging YOU down. You are in no way obligated to stay in an unsuccessful relationship.

[Metallica Lightning]

I'd dump the moron if I were you. He clearly isn't a healthy influence on your life.

[sophie274]

Sorry about the high school/college mistake.

 

Still, if you perceive that your drinking is a problem, then it is. No matter what the amount, the fact that you are uncomfortable with it is a great sign that you should stop drinking, or cut back.

 

I still stand by what I said - if your boyfriend is putting pressure on you to do things you are not sure you want to do, you must put your foot down and tell him that you refuse to do those activities with him. If that isn't possible, then I think you should distance yourself from him.

 

You could also try to plan new sorts of dates with him - more PG things - so you two don't have the opportunity to drink or smoke. Dinner, the movies, a museum, ice skating, ice cream, a walk. Don't just "hang out" in your rooms.

[ghost69]

you are in a different stage in your life. you are going to start growing up and having many experiences being in college. i think you should split. these antics he pulls are no good. plus, his habits are getting worse (smoking weed) now. he is just going to end up bringing you down in the end. you are starting your future, you don't need this crap.

 

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