This doesn't make sense!

[mythie]

This doesn't make sense. Things seemed to be going fairly well between my boyfriend and I. We were together for just over a year. Then on Friday he said that we should just be friends.

I don't know what to do, all I want is him back. I've had my heart broken before a few times, but its NEVER hurt like this. I can't listen to music. I've only eaten two graham crackers in 50hrs (i have no hunger no will to eat and the thought of food makes me nauseaus), I've lost interest in photography (a beloved hobby), I'm losing my will to live.

The decision doesn't feel right.

 

I'm so confused. I don't feel like he's given me the whole picture as to WHY he thinks things are better this way. I don't know if he's just trying to trick himself.

Even the day before we were talking about Sweden and hypotheically if he'd stay there; he said of course he'd bring me along. Then things suddenly change the next day?!

How can things even change so much since Valentines day when he gave me a lovely card and wrote Lots of Love xoxoxoxoxo ?

 

I don't know what to do. All I want to do is have him back.

I've barely been able to pause from crying since it happened. And when I cry its the kind of crying that's like I've lost a huge part of my soul and I have a hard time standing because my whole being is hurting SO much.

 

What do I do?

I want him back, but I don't want to screw things up.

 

Every fiber of my being wants to be with him, and that if this is really the end between us, I need him to help me through it.

 

I feel like I've almost lost the will to live.

[Locke2121]

Its ok hun...we're here to help. I know it feels like your going to die, but your not. Give it a day or two for you to get yourself under control. Then you need to confront your ex and ask him directly what happened. I know it seems like it came right out of the blue, but thats actually quite rare. Something has been effecting him for a long time and it finally came to a head.

 

Luv ya! Someone will be here to talk to you whenever you need to!

[bighair]

Hi,

 

I know it hurts pretty badly, but we have all been there. You should talk to your ex and find out what happened. Do it when you're feeling a little stronger. Like the other poster said, something must have been up (at least in his mind)...IN the meantime, I hope you get yourself some help if you continue to feel like you've lost the will to live. Talk to someone over there...friends, parents...but don't spend too much time by yourself.

[mythie]

I know it hurts badly, BUT its never hurt this badly ever.

[Locke2121]

Kiss/hug...it will get better. I promise.

[mythie]

how am i so 100% wrong on this? How can I be wrong when every fiber in my being is saying it wasn't the right decision?

[Locke2121]

Its not your decision..its his. For you the relationship was working, but not for him. It may have nothing to do with you. You have to be patient and wait till your ready to confront him about the whys and wherefores. Is there someone you can stay with tonight? Mom, Dad or a best friend?

[Karhu]

Yes, I agree, there must be more behind this.

 

What is this about Sweden? And him staying there and possibly bringing you along? What is the rest of the story?

 

There is obviously more to this story. Is he going away and then putting you in a long distance relationship? Is he considering moving to Sweden with you? Etc? these events would have a huge impact on a budding relationship.

 

I know long distance relationships don’t work. I know, I had one for 4 years, and eventually I changed my whole life to move to the other side of the world, only to find that we’d both totally changed and drifted apart. And even when I did move I think she somehow felt guilty that I gave up family and friends to be with her and that she wasn’t willing to part with her family for me, and maybe this helped cause some self-inflicted guild trip on her, etc. anyway, that’s another story, but the bottum line is that long distance relationships don’t work.

 

Is this topic about you moving to Sweden with him? If so then that is like the commitment of moving in with someone times 100. suddenly the big issue of commitment is right in your face. Going from being casual boyfriend/girlfriend to being a partner that you moved to another country with. That means that he’d take a serious look at the relationship, like saying is this the person that I want to live with? Suddenly in the face of a huge commitment even the smallest uncertainty, nagging feeling in the relationship might be enough for him to call it off.

 

Or maybe he’s just freaking out, and maybe he’ll get over it over time as it takes time for a adjustment.

 

I can see you are crazy about him, and all the other signs say that he is interested in you. It seems like something suddenly freaked him out. Hopefully he’ll get over it and come back to you.

 

As the other posters said, the best thing is to take care of yourself, keep yourself healthy, enjoy a bit of a break, take some time for hobbies etc. show your love for him, and open communication to find out what the real issue is. And leave him some space, maybe he just needs some space for his decisions. Give him some space, don’t be too needy, as that’ll only degrade yourself. Show that you are a complete independent individual that can stand on their own feet even without him, and show your good sides and hopefully after some consideration he will open up and come back.

 

And even if it is over, he you deserve the respect of having a complete and honest explanation about why it ended. That is the respectful thing to in ending a serious relationship.