monkey1 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 i recently was able to visit my boyfriend for a week and while i was there, it was valentine's day. i was excited because it was my first vday and i was hoping he'd buy me flowers and we'd do something special. i've been upset about it in the past thinking he doesn't care about doing romantic/thoughtful gestures towards me but now, i dunno. i think he's kinda clueless. come vday, well, i hate to say it but i was a bit disappointed. i feel horrible for thinking it. this was my first vday ever and i wasn't looking for some grand gesture or what have you. just a little something that made me feel special and that he put some thought and planning into the day. basically, while we were out for the day, he asked me if i wanted him to buy me flowers and a card. i didn't know what the hell to say. i didn't expect him to ask me, but i said "yes" to the flowers and said "i bought you a card" when he asked about a card. i picked out my own flowers which i found awkward, but i guess at least he tried. he made me dinner that night which was nice. he had me set the table and such which i didn't really want to do, but i did it anyway. the dinner was my vday gift and later than evening he gave me my card. it was a simple card saying that he hoped it was a nice vday and such. i gave him his card and he then said "aww, that's nice. i wish i had written more in your card." he opened his gift which was a scarf and a hat which he liked a lot. he still was going to get me a late xmas gift and i had told him previously i wanted something girly, you know very cliche because i never get jewelry or just typical things like that. i had taken my computer over for him to install a newer operating system and he then said "i'm putting in my old ram and airport card and that will be your xmas present, ok?" not exactly what i had in mind, but i said it was ok. he is also a little worried about money because his job (contract) is ending in a few weeks. anyway, i've come to the conclusion that he doesn't get it. that he really is clueless when it comes to knowing what i want. i've tried to tell him in the past which has turned into arguments and him saying that nothing he does is right. he's verbally very good about telling me he loves me and such which i appreciate greatly, i guess i just wanted him to get me flowers or a card without, well asking me. i wanted him to take care of everything and all i had to do was just sit back and relax and enjoy the day. but it didn't quite happen that way. i've chosen to accept him for who he is now and not to get on him about how he doesn't do certain things for me because i don't think he understands. plus i think if i told him what i said here, that maybe vday wasn't all i had expected, that i didn't want to be asked about flowers and cards, he'd be hurt and upset or worse, it would cause and argument between us. so what's the best way, for future reference, to get him to think a little more about, well what i would want? should i straight up tell him point blank? get my friend to tell him? send him an article about gifts to give your girlfriend? i need help. Quote Link to comment
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