Bizarre Behaviour?

[Wandering_Sword]

I've been lurking in these forums since July 2006 and finally signed up to be a member in January 2007. By then I was mostly okay and on my way to a better place. Even started seeing a girl too I've given advice but never asked anything until now.

When I started dating my ex over two years ago, I had a blog and on this blog I have an IP tracker because I was curious about how far the stories I wrote or my activities travelled accross the globe. I thought this was neat and fun. Fast forward to now, I've started looking at the IP tracker since the beginning of last month and found that my ex still goes on it 3-5 times a day except when she's not at work. I'm not overanalyzing or thinking what this means but doesn't this behaviour sound bizarre? She broke up with me and told me that we could never be together again and even started seeing another guy almost immediately. Mind you I have been on three months of NC and do not know what is going on in her life.

The blog contains my book, comic and movie reviews. It also has the short stories I wrote and blurbs about my activities. There is no explicit information about what I'm doing exactly just general stuff.

My friends are telling me that I should close down this blog and start a new one because she should have no right to look at the information on the blog. I thought about it, but that is so much work to transfer close to 400 pieces of writing to another blog and nevermind the fact that I have lots of family and friends that visit the blog.

So I guess my question is, "Should I leave things the way they are (since this doesn't really bother me) or am I breaking NC (since she knows my activities) in some unknown way and I should move the blog?"

[karvala]

If it doesn't bother you that she looks at the stuff there (which it doesn't particularly seem to, and the fact it bothers your friends is irrelevant), and you are sure that you won't start to use the fact that you know she reads it to send messages to her, subtle or otherwise, then leave it. Silly engaging in a lot of work to prevent something that doesn't really matter. I wouldn't call it breaking NC, as long as the fact that she reads it doesn't influence what's on there.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Is your blog public domain?

 

If it is, how can you stop one person from seeing it or be offended that any one in particular is looking? If you didn't want the information see,n you wouldn't have put it up in the first place.

[Wandering_Sword]

Is your blog public domain?

 

If it is, how can you stop one person from seeing it or be offended that any one in particular is looking? If you didn't want the information see,n you wouldn't have put it up in the first place.

 

I'm not offended or concerned, my friends think that I should just move it so that she would not have any info on me. I have no problem leaving it where it is. It's just too much work to move the damn thing. I was wondering if I was breaking NC, since this is considered some sort of contact (from my point of view anyhow) because it seems like this is my way (it isn't though) of talking to her. Just a thought...

[Ladyface]

If you have no problem leaving it where it is, then leave it. I don't think her behavior is particularly bizarre - I check my ex's sites sometimes too when they cross my mind. It's a little bizarre that it's so frequent - I'd only check up on an ex that often if I were still hung up on them. But if it doesn't bother you, then I see no reason to move it.

[mmexpeditor]

I'm not offended or concerned, my friends think that I should just move it so that she would not have any info on me. I have no problem leaving it where it is. It's just too much work to move the damn thing. I was wondering if I was breaking NC, since this is considered some sort of contact (from my point of view anyhow) because it seems like this is my way (it isn't though) of talking to her. Just a thought...

 

Hey I'm going through a similar situation, not with a blog, but with an ex that broke up with me some time ago who still wants to keep in touch to see what I'm doing. Although she's with another guy right now and she's totally cold to me, she'll call or contact me every once in a while or ask common acquaintances about what I'm doing/etc.

 

I think it all depends on you and how you feel -- sometimes I feel it's unfair that she can somehow string me along like a Plan B (since I do care about her more than she does about me) and by keeping in touch only the min. necessary to satisfy her needs. But I don't obsess over it and I'm more or less looking forward to my own healing.

[Wandering_Sword]

I just find it bizarre since she was the one that dumped me. I made all the classic mistakes of trying to get her back and when she said "no" the second time that she didn't want to be with me I went on NC and that was three months ago. I haven't heard from her since. I used the blog as a way for me to heal. When I first got dumped I did talk about her, but during these three months nothing. I talk about my friends and the trips I've been on, but nothing like I'm going on mad amounts of dates and making out with lots of girls. Its just me being me, doing new stuff and moving on with my life. I even throw in a couple of short stories because I'm letting my creative side out again. Real mundane stuff (in my opinion).

[Wandering_Sword]

Hey I'm going through a similar situation, not with a blog, but with an ex that broke up with me some time ago who still wants to keep in touch to see what I'm doing. Although she's with another guy right now and she's totally cold to me, she'll call or contact me every once in a while or ask common acquaintances about what I'm doing/etc.

 

I think it all depends on you and how you feel -- sometimes I feel it's unfair that she can somehow string me along like a Plan B (since I do care about her more than she does about me) and by keeping in touch only the min. necessary to satisfy her needs. But I don't obsess over it and I'm more or less looking forward to my own healing.

 

If my ex did what your ex was doing I can understand. They want to know on the occasion what you're up to. But mine has been for the past two months, checking everyday, 3-5 times a day. I don't have the logs prior to this period, so it could just be a phase. But really, I don't write or post stuff everyday and comic book reviews are not her thing. Oh well, she is a strange one I guess...

[isidore]

Is there any way you could hide her IP address so YOU wouldn't have to see it? I'm a techno-dummy so I have no idea if that's possible. Can't you turn that tracking feature of your site off? People from all over the world are looking at your blog. ergo your curiosity should be sated. If you turn off that feature then you won't have to wonder, care, or even notice the ex's internet clinginess ever again.

[lady00]

Well since NC is for you and about you moving on and healing, I don't think it matters much what she does or what she is aware of. It's all about you and what you do.