Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I dunno what it is, but maybe im just too old for it, but im getting annoyed at my gf acting too giddy, cute and silly all the time. The thing with her is she is either one extreme or the other. If shes happy, shes REALLY happy and excited and cant seem to sit still and acts very giddy and cutesy and gay. At least i find it kinda gay. It just gets overwhelming and annoying sometimes to hear her sound like my little 4 year old cousin. Like today when she was leaving, she goes "gimme a kissy-wissy." I was just turned off and im like am i going out with a 14 yr old. I mean my gf when i was 17 used to act/sound like that. Shes 24. When i sorta told her tonight that i sometimes get annoyed when she overdoes it with the sillyness, she started crying. The other thing is, if she acts serious, its usually cuz she is in a bad mood or upset or angry. That is her serious side, a cold, angry, no fun type. So she cant seem to figure out why its difficult for her to act somewhere in between. She suffers from depression/questionable bipolar (her MD not sure yet). Im just wondering if girls tend to favor towards acting like this with their boyfriends, and why? Because i know they dont act like that with their regular friends (guys), but act all cute and giddy with their bf and makeup cute little words or terms for things in the relationship and all. Dont get me wrong, I dont mind silly jokes and laughing and im not the live seriously and act like a grown up type, i love to have fun and bug out, its just overdoing things in that funny voice or baby-talking that gets me annoyed. Quote Link to comment
laboheme Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I can't speak for the rest of the female population, but I personally like the idea of being able to act cute and silly around a boyfriend -- in fact, I dread the day when I'm too old to playfully chuck a snowball at him or have a tickle war. And I do think there can be times when both parties are in the mood for talking in funny voices, if only to get a good laugh out of it. Key word though: BOTH parties. I personally strongly dislike baby-talk (I think it's disgusting, so NO, not all girls like doing that kind of stuff!)...and if you told her that you feel overwhelmed and annoyed by it, I definitely think that she should cut back on that. However, the fact that she has some emotional problems could make it hard for her to control, at least until her MD makes some recommendations. Quote Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 oh dont get me wrong, i dont mind being silly...i love play wrestling, tickle wars, playing in the snow, teasing one another, pranking jokes on one another, and just plain buggin out and laughing in stupid ways. I think its exactly what u stated last, the baby-talk thats getting to me more than anything. Like she'll be like "awww i bub you schhooo muchh." She recently started saying "i bub you" instead of "i love you." And i find it annoying after a while of her repeatedly talking like that all day long. Especially when sometimes she just keeps talking and talking and is maddd hyper, and when shes excited, she naturally acts baby-ish, it just comes out of her, she just talks like that. I just find it very not "woman-like" at her age to be acting like that all the time. And if shes not acting like that, like i said, shes all serious and when shes serious, she seems angry. Quote Link to comment
Kalika Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 That's a little scary.. Honestly.. not to be rude or disrespectful towards your gf.. but that would drive me insane. Quote Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 She sounds human to me. What would you rather, dating a predictably unemotional robot? High intensity emotions coupled with relatively frequent mood swings, come with the "Vaginal" territory so to speak. Quote Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 ive dated many women...some particularly older than me....only this one girl has acted this baby-ish and cute in her manner of speech on this consistent of a manner. Too much giddy = no good...especially when shes even giggly during sex. There is an entire lack of any sexiness or seductive tone (except if shes under any influence). Expressing your emotions are the point of the matter, not the lack thereof. So dont generalize on that context and try to defend female "tendencies." Quote Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Cool, so why are you with her if you find her to be so annoying? Quote Link to comment
laboheme Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It's true that a lot of women do have mood swings, especially when it comes to dealing with emotional matters. But I really don't think that excuses excessive baby-talk. What intrigued me about your last post is the "except if she's under any influence" bit. Do you mean that she can actually behave herself in a "normal" manner when she's intoxicated? If so, maybe it's a sign that she's not very comfortable with you and her usual giddiness is a cover-up for some insecuries -- which vanish after a drink or two. Kind of like a nervous giggle taken to an extreme. It could be that she is afraid to let you see her real self -- the self that snorts when she laughs too hard, the self whose voice can get a little hoarse, etc. -- and thereforeeee puts on an act that she thinks is attractive and shows that she's comfortable around you. Maybe that's too farfetched, and maybe I misinterpreted your statement...but it's a thought. PS. TheRedQueen does have a point in her last post though...It could be that you simply aren't compatible. Quote Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 I question our compatibility from time to time. She finds me perfect (or so she states) while i seem to dislike certain things about her. Alot my dislikes arise from the fact that i feel like i sometimes dont know who im really with because she shows me so many different sides of her. I like many things about her, i like our general day in and day out compatibility and how much fun we have together and how wonderful she is to me. Its the little things that concern me. Especially the little things that change from time to time. Theyre not always consistent. Some days they are present, and some days they are not. Its difficult to explain, but she can be in a different mood very quickly and its unpredictable, and its also very drastic. No gray matter, one extreme to the other. So its hard to figure out whom im really going out with. Who is the real her? Her giddiness is her being on high note, her seriousness/anger is her being a low note, and then when shes drinking, shes serious but in a very seductive and horny type of way. She does let herself go, but i dont think its from an insecure standpoint. When i ask her, she doesnt seem to see or feel as though she acts so very different when shes under the influence, but i notice it right away. She talks different to me. Its a more "sex-focused" or seductive tone, and she has seriousness (but in a good way), no giddiness, and likes the sex to be very aggressive and rough (no boundaries). I think her giddiness are a coverup for her inside anger, not necessarily for anything with me. She said she was being herself and that she thought i was ok with her acting like that. Her acting giddy and excting and hyper help prevent and cover up her mood swings/anxiety. Its like they distract her or disallow her from falling towards that way. I dont think shes comfortable enough with being somewhere in between because she might feel she cant hold onto herself and she'll slip into a depressive/anxiety phase where she can be real bad. That is my postulation from having known her for almost a year now. Her resolution/answer to the statement i made to her earlier was "fine, i just wont act like that at all anymore." Same thing happened when i told her sometimes she acts very flirtateous and "loose" when shes drinking, like saying stuff in front of my friends that she prolly shouldnt say and wouldnt say if she was sober, or letting herself get into sexual affairs or seductions with other females (she has a bisexual side which i spoke about in another post), and her conclusion was, ok so maybe i shouldnt be drinking, i wont drink anymore. She draws very strong thoughts. She lives in a way where she just accepts things the way they are, like if i ever tell her i dont like something or to try to do something differently, her answer is usually "why cant you just understand that this is the way i am." Very solidified towards motives and ways of being. Like i said, one extreme or the other. Quote Link to comment
mintblossom Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't know about you but I give a big fat SQUEAL whenever I see any of my boyfriends and give them a BIG SLOBBERY KISS all over the cheek and tie their hair in little ribbons because all of them are just SOOO CUTEE that I just can't resist. OMG! Quote Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't know about you but I give a big fat SQUEAL whenever I see any of my boyfriends and give them a BIG SLOBBERY KISS all over the cheek and tie their hair in little ribbons because all of them are just SOOO CUTEE that I just can't resist. OMG! Im assuming you are being sarcastic, lol...its hard to tell sarcasm on the internet Quote Link to comment
mintblossom Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It's like a disease and it's got me. ACK! ack! All the cute cuddliness has seeped out of me! Quote Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It's cool, but I think you really have to be sensitive to when your partner's not in the mood for it. edit - erm...silliness that is, not sarcasm..... Quote Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 It's cool, but I think you really have to be sensitive to when your partner's not in the mood for it. edit - erm...silliness that is, not sarcasm..... who/what are you talking about? your post is confusing Quote Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 who/what are you talking about? your post is confusing Sorry, the original subject of the thread. Quote Link to comment
notsomuch Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 If my boyfriend asked for a 'kissy-wissy', he would just get an odd look. However, it's lovely to relax and be silly. I am 17, but I love hugging, eskimo kissing, tickling and teasing. More importantly my boyfriend loves it when i'm 'cute'. There is a line when playfully kitch just becomes sickly.. but why not have a little fun? Quote Link to comment
Momene Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 My wife and I still call each other silly names and talk baby talk. She's 43 and I'm 52 next month. Quote Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I definitely act more cute and giddy, but not to the point of baby talk, eww....... it drives me insane when i am at the mall, and I am overhearing couples babytalking to each other..... ewwwww!!!!! gross, do it at home. maybe you two just aren't compatible in that way? what about her bi-polar disorder. is she getting treatment for that? it is a serious mental illness, that would bother me more than babytalk. Quote Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I like to play around too and have some silly fun, but I don't baby talk...I am with you on that one that I find it very uncomfortable. For babies still learning sounds okay to a degree as there are studies that show the softer inflections and sounds are soothing for them. But for intelligent, grown up boyfriends....no I suspect part of her shifts will be a mood disorder, be it bi-polar or something else. I had a friend in high school whom had these dramatic shifts too. I am a bit worried about how she responds to concerns though, by just becoming passive aggressive and saying "fine, I won't". It is a bit like playing the wounded animal being bullied by the mean wolf, you know? Not very effective as it probably leads to resentments. I don't know, but there seem to be more issues here than baby talk, including her events with other women, passive aggressiveness and mood swings. Do you think you are really compatible if there are so many things you DON'T like about her? Quote Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 Her baby-talk to me at least represents her showing signs of being in a manic phase (one of the phases of bipolar)...its i feel like as if an inner part of her making her act like that and i just wonder to myself why in the world she is acting and sounding retarded like that. I'll even joke around with her occasionally saying "did u smoke something today" or "are you on drugs" but in reality im actually implying that shes acting a little out of whack. She finds it cute and being silly...i can take being silly because im not a serious type of person, but there is a limit on how you express that sillyness and how much. Great metaphor there raykay, thanks. Her passive-aggressive behavior towards certain situtations and circumstances makes me feel as though its very difficult for me to reason with her. Its like she'll just throw in the towel, and i feel its as if shes confused on how to be around me. I dont feel that "not drinking anymore at all" would be the solution to her problems but instead learning how to control herself when she drinks. Entirely eliminating her silly side and the babytalk is not the answer, its how to learn to do in moderation according to your age and the day and time. This is I do find difficult to deal with, is that everytime i bring up something, this is the way she responds. Its either "fine i wont do that anymore" or "No, this is the way i am, why cant u just accept it." Once again, im back to my original statement, no middle ground...which to me makes it very difficult when it comes to compromising. Theres certainly more issues than just her baby-talk, that i could definitely say, but i just brought this up because yesterday i hit the ceiling on it. Quote Link to comment
rocio Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Cool, so why are you with her if you find her to be so annoying? Yeah, why are you with her? Does it stroke your ego to be with someone you have so little respect for? Someone who thinks you're perfect? You seem to think you're better than her. And it gets on my nerves when you come on here and start these threads looking for validation and confirmation of how much your gf sucks. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you pretty much lost my favor a couple months ago when she got you a Christmas present and, instead of appreciating the gesture, you bashed her like she was your worst enemy. There are guys who like baby talk... guys who would love and appreciate her antics. Seriously, why are you with her? Quote Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Her baby-talk to me at least represents her showing signs of being in a manic phase (one of the phases of bipolar)... Is there anyone left in the world who's NOT bipolar? Seriously- I think we ought to be careful of attributing too much to being bi polar. It's a bit of a buzz word at the moment. Having said that - I'm not unaware of the effects of extreme bipolar. My Grandad, rest his soul, had it so bad that even on lithium he had difficulties. He could hardly function normally and was obviously being tortured mentally. If someone does baby voices, it could just mean they're silly! Also if they're doing baby voices ALL the time, I would say it's something more often than not perfectly simple, like the couple have got habitual and need a bit of a break. Baby voices is a sign of affection, but also a sign of complacency perhaps. Quote Link to comment
rocio Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah, my childhood best friend was diagnosed as being bi-polar and put on meds which made her gain about 60 lbs and then they later figured out that she didn't have any kind of disorder whatsoever. She was just expressive. Quote Link to comment
Momene Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Ta Ta for now. I'm off homeybyes for the weekendy. Quote Link to comment
VeganBohemian Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I act giddy and happy a lot of the times and talk WAY too much, but I never use baby talk. I think baby talk "is gay" as you have said. However, I do tend to be sillier and more babyish around my boyfriend. Why? I don't know... Quote Link to comment
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