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I'm stressed out! My intimate is no one!

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Theres just too many factors in finding that one, y'know what I mean? Its really stressful how many girls you go through and not one meaningful relationship, or they're already taken. They say not to try, but don't men have to be the ones that approach the girl? It would be nice if the girl approached the guy. Then theres this stuff about chemistry, what is it? Would it be looks that attract me to the girl? Should I approach the girl if I like how she looks because its chemistry?


I grew up not being allowed to date or have friends that were female. I'm not sure if it was my mom's culture or her religion(Jehovah's Witness). I'm sure it wasn't the religion or the culture because female friends existed in both. It was probably personal parenting preference I'm not sure, and I'm not sure if its having any affect on me today.


If I try to act single or whatever, enjoy being single, I tend to be anti-social because then I won't be talking to girls. And if I just talk to guys I'll feel kind of homosexual. And then I've done some pretty homosexual stuff too but it was just for fun because I'm comfortable with myself. It wasn't nothing too sexual like kissing or sticking it or taking it, but just brotherly love type of stuff. You know what? I'm closer to some guys then girls. Its like they're like a brother to me. Is that how chemistry is suppose to be with a girl?

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Chemistry is hard to define...but to me, it's the feeling of natural attraction that you can't quite explain. Looks can be a factor, but there's much more to chemistry than that. Chemistry is something that you don't need to make into a logical argument along the lines of "she's smart," "she likes the same kind of music as I do," "she's the perfect height," etc. Also, chemistry doesn't always have a direct relationship with being comfortable around the person. You can have the kind of chemistry that makes you too shy to do anything, and you can have the kind of chemistry that makes you feel like you've known the person forever and can do anything around him/her.

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Well this much ill make clear to you...the way you interact and have friendships/relationships with females (of any sort) will never be the same as you have with your boys. At least it shouldnt be. Dont treat women the same as you treat your boys. They dont expect to be treated like that. Guys are very laid-back and open with one another and act rough, reckless and wild. Alot of girls are not always so used to that, unless theyve known you for a while.

Now that would apply for a girl whom you just know perhaps as a friend. If its a girl you are trying to approach or have a date with, a whole new ballgame. Dating isn't easy, but it can be fun. Try to approach women with the confidence and attitude that THEY have to try to win you over. Reverse the game back on them. Women usually go on dates, to evaluate the guy, and see if they'll agree to a second date, agree to let you touch, feel, kiss, have sex, etc. Let yourself be the judge as well. Let the girl feel as though she has to win some of you over as well. Dont make yourself so readily available and be willing to say yes to everything the girl says at first.

Now ive had numerous girls approach me, and either ask me out, give me their number, etc...and i usually "gave them a shot." I would go out with them and see if they were fun enough for me, if they can show me a good time. Now the same would go if i were to approach a girl and try to get to know her. I would evaluate her and get to know her in a way where to see if she can show me a good time. Ive said that to women before a date, ill be like "well we can hang out this weekend, i wanna take you out and we can get to know each other better, ill see if you can make me laugh and see how much fun i can have with you." You gotta see how their mindset immediately flips towards being all nervous trying to figure out how to make sure they show a good time. You cant ever let them know this, its not really a game, its just getting to see if you really can have fun with that person and they can show you a good time. You dont wanna be dating someone thats boring that you cant have fun with now do you?

The order of dating goes as follows --> physical attraction--> approach --> see if your personalities match --> attraction towards hanging out with the person/enjoying their company --> consistency --> relationship. I miss a few steps in there, but my point is, it all begins with physical attraction, from both ends, there must be something there to initially attract, otherwise one party will reject. Chemistry is built in the 4th or 5th step of that, not initially. The only initial thing is physical attraction, and that my friend does not take chemistry, it only takes hormones and taste. Dating will take many trial and errors in most usual cases, except for the lucky (or unlucky) ones who find that first love and it works out. I personally like dating more and going out with lots of people before i find the one. Gives you a better taste of whats out there and better appreciation of what you have at the end if its good. How would you know its good if you dont have enough people to compare to? Youre still young. Enjoy your youth, dont jump into anything serious unless its really good and you feel as though no other girl can top that one. Dating can be fun, only if you let it be.

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