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I know i've been on here talking about dating and everything lately, but about a week ago I was upset about the ex


(He dumped me several times starting last summer and it was official in Oct, but we kept in touch still, acting sort of like a couple until a few days before Christmas when I said something that pissed him off so bad he never wanted to speak to me again - and the whole thing was ridiculous, but you can read that in past threads.)


I emailed him about three weeks later trying to tell him nicely that he needs help (he had depression and his parents and i both thought he might be bipolar, but he refused help) and that was it.


2 months go by, I was feeling down because of all my dating failures I've had recently. I emailed him and said:


"I know I shouldn't be emailing you. If you wanted to speak to me you'd call. I can't help it though. I just miss talking to you, that's all. I hope everything is going good."


Tonight (one week later) I get this: "yeah, its going f***ing great."


I just sent him this back: "I'm sorry...So you hate me, I get it, but is sarcasm really necessary?"


He's a jerk, his attitude hasn't changed one bit from two months ago - my life has done a complete 360. I went from being $800 in debt to $800 in my savings...I'm healthier and feeling better...I've made a bunch of changes and I'm REALLY happy with everything...i just let myself get the better of me that one night and i've regretted it ever since - but i didn't think i'd hear from him, honestly.


I feel like such an idiot, now he knows he still has control over me and he's probably SO HAPPY right now thinking that my life is h*ll without him...I don't need him, i know...why did i email him??? Grr...

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Dont even think your an idiot...you just made a mistake. Always learn from your mistakes. I was in the same situation awhile ago (even in debt and then having $800 in my savings! weird) and when I got to the point where I was happy with my life I realized that my ex didnt have control over me. He doesnt have control over you bc you changed your life around without him. And he is NOT happy, so dont think that. Just think this: he is not happy, you are, without him. dont email him anymore, that just throws extra drama in your life that doesnt need to be there. Congrats on moving on too!!

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Your life is not hell without him, even if he may think that because of the emails. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't give it much thought, but I don't know him. Sorry, going around in circles.


I've done that. Email the ex. You want something to change but usually it doesn't and you just feel like a fool.

Hun, the best you can do now is just leave it alone. You are moving forward. You know you don't need him, or want him.


I've learned that the best way to take back control is to KNOW that I am making these decisions and then I OWN them


Example: I chose to email him. What a mistake!! I know I don't want his sorry butt back in my life.

Then I let it go and move on. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. He has no control because he didn't make you DO any of this.... you did it and then you didn't like the result....and then you stopped doing it. The control of YOU is yours again.


Hope i didn't confuse you much.

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Thanks so much for encouragement. I just know how he is and he probably thought I was trying to weasel my way back into his life and repeat all our drama all over again - so NOT true. I just miss talking to him about things that only he and I used to talk about and after being such a HUGE part of my life for the past 2 years, it's only natural that I would miss him after speaking to eachother nearly EVERYDAY for a year to not speaking at all.


I'm doing a lot better than i thought i would for it only being 2 months. I'm excited to go out and date and meet people and actually be treated like a woman instead of how my ex used to treat me. I just hope i can stay this strong for the future.

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