disgruntledbaker Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 don't think you need a lot of background info for this (and some of you already have it all anyway). i have a strong feeling i already know what the answer will be, but i have to ask anyway. it's been two months since the split, only two real conversations with the ex since then and both times i felt that not enough was said. in both conversations i hit on the main points: that i love her and want to be with her but i can't keep hitting my head against the wall she put up and getting rejected over and over so she needs to come to me if getting back together is ever going to happen, and until then being "just friends" isn't good enough for me. obviously, i still want to reconcile. giving her the "time and space" she asked for. but every so often i stumble over some hints of what shes up to (or actively search them out because im being nosy). this week i got back most of my junk from our apartment where she still lives, and while unpacking i got whif after whif of "her". it was driving me bonkers all day, so today was one of those nosy days. and once again, i was just a little crushed when i saw that i was pushed out of her life just a little bit more in just a little way. taken off the myspace friends list (once again, despite being put back on it after the last time i was removed and the subsequent phone call). in an emotionally distraught state, i wrote up six drafts of a letter that i thought put into words all the things i wanted to tell her that i either didn't say in the two times we've spoken or felt were lost in translation... so the question is should i send this letter or not? seems to me it probably qualifies as flailing or begging in a sense. and it also seems to me that while some may say this is me getting those last things off my chest and preparing to move on and heal, i feel that every time i see the number of her birthdate or get a whif of her scent or hear one of our many songs that im going to have a whole lot of new "stuff" to get off my chest, and i can't keep using that excuse... i love her. but im not getting any love from her. which, i know, is extremely unhealthy and can't possibly lead to a successful relationship... but the heart doesn't seem to get that message. the last time we spoke, it was when she called me and said "i love you, i miss you, and i want you to be my husband" and then over the course of the 3 hour conversation it changed to "i wish i could just get over you so i can see other people." which i think pretty perfectly sums up how confused she is... so, in summary... do i send the stinkin' letter? will not sending it and upholding a shred of NC increase my chances at reconciliation (considering conversation doesn't seem to get us anywhere especially since she doesn't seek it out too frequently) once again... sigh... i think i already know the answer. someone blow me away with surprise, please. discuss amongst yourselves Quote Link to comment
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