ckman2 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Look at me, I finally asked her out [[EDIT: on a date]] and she said sure. Now what?!??!?! I've been liking our non-official dates for a quite a while now (12 times over 4 months) - don't really want to change anything... but what changes when you start going out [[on dates]]? What do I do? Starting to get nervous things will change - post dateum gitters? Advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirits Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 ahahaha, this post reminds me of the jdrama densha otoko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MushroomGod Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Don't do anything different, just keep getting closer and closer to her till your her best friend, with an added sexy bonus. Congratz =D> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 what kinds of "non-dates" were you having before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 No drastic changes, just keep slowing upping the involvement. What have your dates invovled so far? What kind of dates? What did you do on them? What kind of sexual contact have you had, by which I eman anything from holding hands to everything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 what does 'non-dates' mean? 4 months sounds like you aren't an item if you are asking about how to move forward. have you hooked up? have you talked about being together? too many details missing here to make a statement. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MushroomGod Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 what kinds of "non-dates" were you having before? Sorry off topic a bit but, I had to comment on the philosophical nature in which Farris Buler thinks. I've always felt the same. Awesome sig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dating Coach Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Look at me, I finally asked her out and she said sure. Now what?!??!?! You're asking us? Where are you taking her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckman2 Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 Sorry - I messed up my previous post in my happiness. I asked her out on a DATE - and she said sure. Big difference (but for me its a big thing cause I haven't really done the dating thing - in the past.. it just jumped to "going out") although I'd like to ask her out eventually if things go well - just taking things very slowly because we are both very busy. what kinds of "non-dates" were you having before? By non-dates I mean "getting to know each other" outings. We just did fun things like go to theatre, different attractions, beach, hikes, outdoorsy stuff - never at each others houses. Never have done anything close to intimate. Just wondering what changes from "getting to know person" outings to "dating" outings (confusing eh). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pianoguy Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Since it kind of sounds like you know each other relatively well- maybe try something a little romantic that you think she would like. Maybe a nice restaurant or something. Just something that you both would really love to do and be romantic about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I think you should continue those fun outings, but add an opportunity to connect. like go to the theater, and afterwards go get dessert and coffee and find a cozy corner in the coffee shop to talk. Or go on a hike somewhere and bring a picnic lunch. eventually stuff will turn into dates at home.... like cooking together or watching a video together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coooolsome Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 First rule of thumb, don't get nervous. You know this girl, you have hung out with her for the last 4 months so your doing something right. Don't try to move to fast and just play it cool. At the end of the night go for a kiss and thats it. Have fun and good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I agree with the advice about not changing much. Waht you have been doing worked, so why change. However, I would bust a move and have some physical interaction. Frankly, you have moved in this casea bout as slow as molasses running uphill in January, if you have not already kissed her. What I would do in this case is first go for the hand hold. Do it subtly, let your hand touch hers, then back off, repeat this a few times, letting the contact remain longer and become firmer, then grab her hand. And when I came time to kiss her, no hesitation, do it. Move in grab kiss, no simple peck, have some passion. Make sure you make that first kiss have some passion. You want her to know you have some passion in you, that you see her and you together naked, making furious, mad, passionate love, with wild abandon. Give her a hint, just a slight hint that this animal lust lurks in you. Let ehr know that in you, there is a man with wanton lust that you have been able to control but which is directed at HER. Kiss her passionately, then you can tell her good night and walk off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 i agree with beec, bring in some level of intimacy, if you haven't already. you don't have to rip her clothes off at all, but a passionate kiss would be great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 i agree with beec, bring in some level of intimacy, if you haven't already. you don't have to rip her clothes off at all, but a passionate kiss would be great. Yes, definitely do not rip her clothes off. You've moved slow. Don't try to race to the finish line. Instead of trying to get her out of her clothes, so her that you are confident that you will get to the sex soon enough to suit you. Let a woman know you want her, and show confidence that you will get there, and soon enough you will have a woman who wants to get you naked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Maybe moving 'slow' (as perceived by the OP and some of the replies here) got the OP the 'date' with the girl By the way OP, your 'get togethers' prior to making this post were dates (at least in my mind dating is getting to know someone). If you do something TOO drastic, it has the potential to scare her off. I am all for going into hold her hand and a gentle first kiss, though. But an 'animal' type move would scare the bejesus out of me and have me reconsidering my other options. I am sure you will be just fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 But an 'animal' type move would scare the bejesus out of me and have me reconsidering my other options. Hoss, I've heard other women say that too. I've never had a woman run when I have done it on a date though. And for those woman that I have done it with, I've dated all of them at least once more. Indeed the only one that ever complained, did so after I had been dating her some months, which tells you what. I'll stick with one passionate kiss, no roaming hands, no mad groping, no necking for ten minutes. One kiss, and then "good night" and walk off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I'll stick with one passionate kiss, no roaming hands, no mad groping, no necking for ten minutes. One kiss, and then "good night" and walk off. Yeah that would work. (but after a few gentle ones ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Hoss, I've heard other women say that too. I've never had a woman run when I have done it on a date though. And for those woman that I have done it with, I've dated all of them at least once more. Indeed the only one that ever complained, did so after I had been dating her some months, which tells you what. I'll stick with one passionate kiss, no roaming hands, no mad groping, no necking for ten minutes. One kiss, and then "good night" and walk off. yeah, it depends on the relationship and situation. there are some men I am not comfortable kissing on the first date, and others wind up in long-make out/groping sessions. it just depends on the individual chemistry and comfort level with that person. if a man tried to grope me without me giving him any signals saying that it was ok, that would definitely scare me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah that would work. (but after a few gentle ones ) Yes, it would, has and does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 give her a hug next time you drop her off or whatever. then lean in for a kiss. even if it is a peck you are advancing the relationship. if you do a passionate one and she isn't feeling you, you are in big trouble. a peck is harmless and gets her thinking. if you do the peck and she leans in for more, then you are in for sure. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massari Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Look at me, I finally asked her out [[EDIT: on a date]] and she said sure. Now what?!??!?! I've been liking our non-official dates for a quite a while now (12 times over 4 months) - don't really want to change anything... but what changes when you start going out [[on dates]]? What do I do? Starting to get nervous things will change - post dateum gitters? Advice? let me ask you this,, so the past 4 months you have hang out with this woman and you initiated it with wanna hangout or go to place "X".. am I right? So How did you ask her out this time that you know its a date. I mean the ones you went before seems like a date to me.. since the main point of a date is to get to know eachother better and she agrees to hangout with you for this much. I think you are already in.. pretty serious. so no worries. just act the same but try to get that kiss at the end, it will help you figure out where you guys are and most importantly where she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckman2 Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 let me ask you this,, so the past 4 months you have hang out with this woman and you initiated it with wanna hangout or go to place "X".. am I right? So How did you ask her out this time that you know its a date. I mean the ones you went before seems like a date to me.. since the main point of a date is to get to know eachother better and she agrees to hangout with you for this much. I think you are already in.. pretty serious. so no worries. just act the same but try to get that kiss at the end, it will help you figure out where you guys are and most importantly where she is. I think that's where I'm super confused. I really don't know where the line is drawn in our relationship - I think I partly asked her out because I wanted to get a line drawn! (and see what it is in her mind) I find her incredibly hard to read - she is close and distant. I felt like our "get togethers" - were in fact "dates by de facto" - really enjoyed them but I just need to know whether she is interested or whether I should just keep her as a friend and look elsewhere. EDIT: Sort of gets me a bit too because she is away for a week (she left the next day after I asked her out for a date) on a pre-planned trip with her girlfriends - so I won't hear from her for a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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