friend hookups with my ex!

[the_azn_fu]

so, i was just told that my one of my pretty good friends hooked up with my ex!

my ex and i broke up a month ago because of a lack of attraction. im completely over her, but i think its just disrect of him to do that to me.

 

ima kick his .

any other suggestions?

[robowarrior]

Ehm no, 'read EX' she WAS your gf. So she is free to choose with whomever she wants to be. Disrespect would be when your gf would be with him during the relationship behind your back. Be happy he waited till the two of you splitt up. Remember you can love a person but you do NOT own them. So when you end a relationship you need to learn to let go.

[the_azn_fu]

i mean its disrespectful of my friend.

she can date whoever she wants, but its my friends choice if he would or wouldnt hookup with her.

[Hayles]

I still think that this is a slightly grey area, you are right to feel yuck about it - however you don't have the right to be 'cranky' with either of them over it!

I think it's a bit soon after your break up to be hooking up with one of your mates, for sure. But, sometimes things do just happen and all rationality and voice of reason topples out the door!!!

So, it's okay to BE annoyed, but not to ACT annoyed!!

[hockeyboy]

I still think that this is a slightly grey area, you are right to feel yuck about it - however you don't have the right to be 'cranky' with either of them over it!

I think it's a bit soon after your break up to be hooking up with one of your mates, for sure. But, sometimes things do just happen and all rationality and voice of reason topples out the door!!!

So, it's okay to BE annoyed, but not to ACT annoyed!!

 

I disagree, if this guy is a close friend to you and had interest in dating an ex he should have spoken to you about it. Not necessarily asking "permission" but he should have told you up front.

 

Personally, I know my closest friends wouldn't date my ex's unless they really liked the girl and they made sure I was okay with it (even then i doubt they would)

 

It's up to you if you want to continue being friends with this guy or not.

[NYCB]

I still think that this is a slightly grey area, you are right to feel yuck about it - however you don't have the right to be 'cranky' with either of them over it!

Sorry man, I completely disagree. Everybody that I'm friends with who I consider a "good" friend would never hook up with an ex - at least not within a year or more and only in an extreme case.

 

That's just disrespectful of him to do that and you're correct to question his allegiance to you. It's to be expected of some men, yes, but are they people you'd like to have in your life?

[Hayles]

Okay - perhaps I have not conveyed myself well here - I am agreeing that it is morally wrong of the friend, and even the GF - to have done this -

The question is - what kind of hook up??? Did they just spend a night together? 'cause that's what I'm thinking - and if that's the case - are they seriously going to go and ask him if this is okay first?! Some times things just happen...

I'm not saying it makes it right... but it's life...

I used to think it was an absolute no go zone under any cicumstances - but years down the track I see many friends so happy with people they should not have hooked up with under the unwritten moral laws of society - the ex's best mate, the best mate's ex etc. and years on - they're married, have kids, so happy....

If you don't want her anyway - let them be happy - who knows, they might be meant for each other!

[ScreenagerX]

I swore on that prophecy: You don't go where your mates have been..........or at least I did. Things happen & at the end of the day sometimes you just can't control how you feel about someone.

 

I lived with a couple (actually two couples) for about 6 months until she moved out to live alone, he followed a few days later to live somewhere else. A week later they split up. He wouldn't let it go & I became his shoulder to cry on. He quite obsessive about her to the point where the police were almost involved. This went on for around 2 months until one day in his insecurity he accused me of sleeping with her. Of course it was untrue & I was incredibly disappointed in him. I had it out with him & we got over it. His ex would still frequent our house for study (another flatmate) & it became a running joke that we were lovers. Problem was joking about it must have put the idea in our heads & soon after while at a party we got together. The next morning was too late to talk to him about ir as the damage had already been done by then. That was 3 months ago & we are still together. My 'friend' is still not talking to me.

 

I can relate to how he feels & I would perhaps feel the same way but people move on. In my opinion the_azn_fu you need to get over it, move on. If you two weren't together anymore then she has every right to be with whom ever she wants. Your friend could have spoken to you about it but its pretty obvious what your response would have been. As I stated, sometimes you can't help who you fall for.

[jengh]

oh god, im sorry... i'm sort of going through the same thing right now. Correct, you can't blame the ex... but what a rude thing for a close friend to do... I completely understand where you're coming from...

 

Are they seeing each other now or just sleeping together?

 

Have you talked to him about this?

[the_azn_fu]

i dont handle disrespect that well.

1. he hooks up with my ex three weeks after we broke up

2. he doesnt tell me, i need to hear it from someone else.

 

im going to confront him tomorow and i know fighting wont fix it, but i just feel that he needs it. and i dont think they plan on getting together so im not ruining anything.

its just the nerve of HIM to do that to ME is what bugs me.

 

thank you for all the replies.

[deejay74]

i dont handle disrespect that well.

1. he hooks up with my ex three weeks after we broke up

2. he doesnt tell me, i need to hear it from someone else.

 

im going to confront him tomorow and i know fighting wont fix it, but i just feel that he needs it. and i dont think they plan on getting together so im not ruining anything.

its just the nerve of HIM to do that to ME is what bugs me.

 

thank you for all the replies.

 

 

you're right, fighting won't fix it. and don't be too sure you'll kick his * * * * *. things would be 10x's worse if he kicked yours. and then not only will he have "hooked up" with your ex, but you'd get a beat down as well. and then your ex will definitely hear about it and then what? oh yeah, it might backfire and your ex will think you're not over her and possibly give her a huge ego boost.

 

confront him, sure. but fight him over it? that's really immature.