Sex, Shy, help!

[darkpumpkin]

Ok here's my question to all of you men/women who are shy but love to have sex. I'm basically very open about it. I can talk about it and love to try new things. I have a small dilema though. I've had sex problems with the boyfriend. I know he still wants me but I think I need to spice it up a bit. Meaning I want to initiate sexual acts. Not saying intercourse just any kind of stimulation. He's not one for me to just walk up and start rubbing him. Any helpful hints for someone who is shy and can't just wear a skirt and tell the guy to start servicing her. lol

[astaro]

best advice is be creative.

 

what kind of sex does he like? is he passive or dominating? does he like being cought off guard? is he the romantic type? is he shy aswell?.....

 

 

 

about 5 years ago i had a really long bad day at work, i got home exausted just wanting to sleep, when i got home i found my girlfriend at the time tied to the bed, her entire body covered with oil in half ripped clothes. took about 1/10 of a second for me to totaly forget about my day and being tierd

[Ash]

I tend to make a lot of double entendres, "pretend" that there was a sexual aspect to a comment, make witty provokative comments, or just plain lewd ones at times.

 

Not a particularly sexual one, but a couple of nights ago she was feeling a tad off physically, so she said to me she wasn't sure if she was hot or cold. I replied "Oh, you're hot alright!" Although perhaps not was the ideal situation, that's the type of thing we do.

 

It's a great ice breaker leading up to an intimate encounter.

[darkpumpkin]

I'm used to doing the comments....you know a little hint hint I'm hot for you kind of thing but he never gets them. The tieing up thing is a bit to far. I know he likes it rough but I don't know how rough is too rough for him. Nothing kills the mood like "ouch that really hurt".

[Stu147]

Ok here's my question to all of you men/women who are shy but love to have sex. I'm basically very open about it. I can talk about it and love to try new things. I have a small dilema though. I've had sex problems with the boyfriend. I know he still wants me but I think I need to spice it up a bit. Meaning I want to initiate sexual acts. Not saying intercourse just any kind of stimulation. He's not one for me to just walk up and start rubbing him. Any helpful hints for someone who is shy and can't just wear a skirt and tell the guy to start servicing her. lol

 

 

Hi Darkpumpkin

 

I would say that using suggestion might be the way to go especially if, as you say, he is not the sort of guy you can just pounce on (so to speak).

 

Perhaps you can drop subtle hints into conversation about the sort of things you like or would like to try. In a sense try to guide him to doing what you would like but almost in a way that he thinks it is his idea. This perhaps will take a bit of practice, but if he is really into you then he shouldn't need too many prompters to pick up on what you are driving at.

 

I find that sometimes if a person is to blatant in their sexual advances it can be a turn off. It's nice to leave something to the imagination.

 

I wish you guys the best of luck, and a lot of fun.....

[astaro]

guys have a tendency to be dence, we just dont get your species most of the time

 

you could find something sexy to wear and just wait in bed when he gets home, dont think it will take him long to get the hint

 

another option is just wait for him naked under the covers, thats allways a plesant surprise.

 

find a secluded place and have a sexy picnic...

 

i would sugest talking to him, find out what his boundrys are, find out what he fantesises about. maybe you could make one of his fantasys come true

[GQstatus]

^ Wait naked for him under the covers, works everytime!

 

Funny when I think about it, last time the ex and I had sex, we had a little bit of a stupid argument, didn't think I was getting ANY that night. Got up to brush my teeth...came back got under the covers, only to feel her naked body. Very nice surprise.

[darkpumpkin]

Yes I guess that would be the best way. So if we were to be sitting and I sat on top of him and started kissing him passionatly would that be a good hint? Only problem with that one is that I'm a bit chubby so if we are on the couch and he wants to move it to being more then just me on top of him it gets awkard and kills the mood.

[Beec]

Ok here's my question to all of you men/women who are shy but love to have sex. I'm basically very open about it. I can talk about it and love to try new things. I have a small dilema though. I've had sex problems with the boyfriend. I know he still wants me but I think I need to spice it up a bit. Meaning I want to initiate sexual acts. Not saying intercourse just any kind of stimulation. He's not one for me to just walk up and start rubbing him. Any helpful hints for someone who is shy and can't just wear a skirt and tell the guy to start servicing her. lol

 

I would not have a woman walk up and jsut lift the skirt, but if she had done a few things firt, like kissed him a bit, yes, then I might.

Also, what woman would be for a man just coming up and "rubbing her" thinking he was going to get some? Not many. It's good that you are not one to do that. Both of the above are about women telling men to give them sex.

 

Now, if you really want to charge up your sex life, then what you are asking to do is to seduce your man. Great. Wonderful idea. How would a man best go about seducing you? One, I bet he would not show up and let you know that the whole plan was a ploy to get you naked and doing him. Two, I bet he would be best off if he began by trying to turn you on. Third, I bet he would be best off once you were enjoying that to act as if he enjoying doiing that for you and for it's own sake. Fourth, he would act as if he wants you, but as if he is not there just for the sex. If he gets all this down, his chances of getting sex from you should be about as good as any man could get. You may not have sex with him, but it probably won't be because he did anything that hindered him from getting it.

 

Assuming you can walk into a man's place and have him service you right away is you assuming that he will want to. Walking up to him and rubbing him is doing the same.

 

Why not go up him and kiss him? Why not, do it again? Why not after you have done it, smile at him, back off and walk away. Repeat that whole cycle from end to beginning multiple times. As you repeat it, each time up the ante a bit more. The first couple times, just kiss him, then get some real tongue action invovled, then get your hands into play, rub his back, then grab his butt, then. . . ., then blow lightly into his ear, kiss his nack, etc. Stop the progress from time to time. In other words, after you have had your hands roaming over his body a bit, walk off, and when you come back, tone it down a bit. Make him question where it may end up. You are telling him you want him, but not asking for sex. Instead,you are giving him attention, and not letting him know where it will end up.

 

Indirect approach, mixed signals, sounds like the beginning of a seduction.

 

That's how to get it started. What you also want to know is how to take things further afield. Slowly. Above I really suggest to heat things up slowly. It's really as if you are dancing with someone, you need to be instep. If one of you dances to a faster beat, the one left behind will resist going further. The faster person needs to back up and begin to dnace together again. With sex and taking things into unexplored areas, you need to begin slowly. If he does certain thigns now, doing them in a different way would be a good start. For example, just changing the position in which things are done would be good. Then if it was clear her liked it, tell him variety is the spice of life.

 

Maybe one night, you get him hot, then when he is, tell him he needs to follow instructions. Instead of tying him up, tell him to keep his hands behind his head and blindfold him. Then tease him for a while before you take him. With his hands free, he can stop it at anytime, but if he stops or take off the blindfold, you should just stop and make him put it back on. It gets the right effect without making him feel threatened. Then when done, you can tell him next time you may handcuff him in a flirty manner. See how he reacts.

[darkpumpkin]

So we were in his room and I kissed him. Then say stopped. Then kissed him again and ran my hands up his shirt.....ok so um how do I say honey can you lay down and not move while I do dirty things to you? lol

[Beec]

As he gets into it and tells you that he wants you, then slyly smile at him, and ask him if he will do what you ask? Ask him if he promises? Then tell him ok, well, then you want him to put this on a blindfold (produce it) and to put his hands behind his head and not move them, if hew agrees, have you way with him. If not, be ready to walk off seeming as if it is not a big deal. And he will readily agree.

 

As another comment, while I would get him turned on doing this, while you do this, make him perform a little too. Give him a nipple, make him lick it, suck it, etc. and then ask him if anything else could taste better to him right now. If he suggests nothing, then you might be able to change his mind, but if he says some other part of you, then tease him before you let him lick there. And when he is licking there, talk to him about that being what he wanted to lick and about how it tastes so good to him. In short, eroticize things, parts of you, for him.

[astaro]

just get up and tug on his shirt in the general direction of the bed.

 

if he dosnt get it kick him in the nuts for me

[darkpumpkin]

Ok so a bit of kissing a bit of tugging. Lol. If he says he's not in the mood then just go ok and walk away? also if he keeps going "what"..."what" all sly what would be a good repsonse.

[Beec]

Ok so a bit of kissing a bit of tugging. Lol. If he says he's not in the mood then just go ok and walk away? also if he keeps going "what"..."what" all sly what would be a good repsonse.

 

If he is not in the mood, then jsut go ok and walk away. But after a while, come back and kiss him again. It backs up you seeming like you are not looking for sex from him, when you give him sexual attention. In other words, you are really giving him attention, not asking for sex.

 

So, when you are coming on to him, he asks "what, what"? If he does that slyly, then is this his manner of flirting? If so, I would look at him trying to seem at fist shocked, then say oh nothing, then back off and smile slyly. When he hems and haws a bit, smile slyly and ask if there is something that he wants? If he says yes, but not what, ask again slyly, do if you have something that he wants. If this is a game the two of you play, then you maybe should use your hands on yourself when you do this or display certain parts of you. And change parts. For example, if you squeeze and show some cleavage or if you are walking arch your back and show him your rear, see which one gets the bigger reaction. then in the furture, you will know if he is a boob man or an azz man, and you can shake the right parts in his face.

[darkpumpkin]

Yes. Well here goes nothing. I will give it ago tonight and see what happens.

[Beec]

OK, Good Luck.

 

Remember the key is not getting it tonight. The key is to imrpvoe your sex life for a while. Just be ready to walk away. Do not ask for anything. Act like you are perfectly fine going without.