In a commited relationship and Insecure... :(

[niceguy86]

What's wrong with me? In high school I was a loser, I was overweight, had no friends, and hated myself. Now at almost 21 I've completely turned my life around. I got into bodybuilding, I'm in shape, I look great, I have lots of friends, and have been dating a girl who I love for the past 5 months and its great, but every once and a while I feel so damn insecure.

 

I've talked about this with my girl, and she says everything is fine. She says she loves me all the time, and we always talk about the future, and how happy we are together and it's great and Im fine for a while, then for some reason one day ill revert back and feel like im not good enough, or that shes found someone better or will and is just lying to me... when of course I have absolutly no reason to think that.

 

Just today I was like that and I was feeling like such crap, I talked to my girl and said I was sorry for being such an emotional . She told me everything is fine, she loves me nothing to worry about, and it was good.... But I just don't wanna be like this anymore.. What the is wrong with me?

[isisastaria]

I can relate...here's the kicker....I modeled to get through college!!! LOL

 

We all have insecurities, and believe me I have mine. Just do things that make you feel good about yourself.

 

If you feel good when you get in a good run or weights or whatnot...do that.

 

If you feel good just practicing a sport or going out with friends...do that to give you a boost.

 

It might backfire if you lean completely on your SO.

 

Make sure you have everything you need so you two can have a partnership...not one always leaning on the other.

[Dako]

So you're a hunk and have a great girl, but what else is going on?

Despite the popular wisdom that all you need is muscles and a girl, you might be wanting something else.

School? Career? Hobbies?

[niceguy86]

My biggest worry is that she's gonna wake up someday soon and decide that I'm too insecure for her, maybe that day could even be tomorrow... But she says everything is fine and she loves me with all her heart... so I guess if I just stop this now.. I should be okay...

[CluelessGuy321]

You need Cognative Behavorial Therapy. It is good for fixing negative thoughts, emotions, insecurities, et.

 

Ask your psych about it, or grab some books on Amazon. Like 10-days to Self Esteem by David Burns.

[niceguy86]

We'll I talked to my girl tonight and I think it went okay. She told me I had no reason to feel that way, and was kinda mad in the fact that I thought she might not wanna be with me. We talked for about an hour and in the end I feel alot better about it. I told her I was sorry and didn't want my actions to ruin our relationship. So hopefully ill be better able to cope with this in the future.

[karvala]

We'll I talked to my girl tonight and I think it went okay. She told me I had no reason to feel that way, and was kinda mad in the fact that I thought she might not wanna be with me. We talked for about an hour and in the end I feel alot better about it. I told her I was sorry and didn't want my actions to ruin our relationship. So hopefully ill be better able to cope with this in the future.

 

That's okay, but be careful of this. Talking through the issue on a regular basis, though on the surface it looks like it is dealing with it in a mature and sensible fashion, is in fact a backdoor way of voicing that same insecurity. It's okay once in a while, but just be careful.

[sweet_emilia]

you know u should be thankful that from ugly duckling you become a prince now... other people dont attain that one.... they must pay for it to have what they whant

[Gus Almighty]

I hate to tell you this but I dont think this is a relationship issue and more of a personal issue in yourself.

 

Go get yourself some counselling for yourself kid so you can respect yourself for what you've overcome in your life. From what I can see it wont take much to fix ya up.

 

Could be a chemical imbalance or it could be just old memories of what you used to be. Your like me, you worry too much.

[Carl5000]

I think your fine man, its all quite natural and realistic and its a way of preparing yourself for the future. Incase, anything terrible did happen between your gf and you split up. I would just try and control your thoughts, if you over think negativity, it causes anxiety and your never reach a solution. I wouldn't bother with a cognitive behaviour therapy personally. Its just changing your thoughts patterns and becoming super optimistic eheh. I'm quite an insecure person and im fine about it - for me if you don't have a adequate level you get blinded by the sun and its a form of naviety and ignorance.

 

Aristotle is famous for the 'golden mean' everything in moderation and where your outlook on life is concerned i'd try and move to a more secure level. Its hilarious i've seen two cognitive behaviour therpists, it was laughable. You could say i've got an iq of 75 and i'm insecure about it. The response would be 'oh your beliefs are wrong, what are ur positive aspects? or i'm ugly and at twenty eight ive never had a gf and women dispise me... 'noono, u ain't ugly, its your personality or you have social problem etc

 

It was all very similar to that ) i actually started laughing at one point, as it became so ridiculous. They kept wanting to pass me onto other psychologists after a few sessions. I suppose, it has some uses for ppl who are actually too pessimistic and say have an iq of 140 and feel they;re stupid? but surely they are few and far between.