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After an intense one year relationship I finally broke up (for the 5th time) and stayed away from my ex. We had a very intense connection...the strongest I have felt yet. He wanted to get married and said I was the love of his life. But he did not treat me well. He was narcissistic, inconsiderate, invalidating and really manipulative. He did not want to break up. But the more he invalidated me the more depressed I became to the point where I felt like I had lost myself. Things ended really unpleasantly with us with me being really angry for the way he treated me for the last year. I mean I was pissed to the point that I told him never to get in touch. Well it's been 5 months and I recently saw pics of he and his new gf. She looks a lot like me. A lot. Same face structure, hair, eyebrow, eyes, skin color, race. I have asked friends and they are really surprised at how much she looks like me. What do I make of all this? It's been long enough now that I could see being a friend in the future. I still have strong feelings for him, really strong but I'd never be with him again. He was too hurtful and manipulative. But seeing pics of this new girl just pulls at my heart again...i feel sick about thinking of even dating anyone for a while because i can't get over someone so fast. But it's like he's replaced her with me. I feel upset, but why!

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I think regardless of what the girl looks like, you're upset because you still have feelings for the guy. Subconsciously you're probably mad that he never tried to change and be a better boyfriend to you. I think it's only natural when someone has treated you badly to see them with someone else. You probably wonder: does he treat her better than he treated me? If so, why? Why wasn't I good enough to be treated well by him? At least that is what I have thought in the past when guys I have dated have not treated me well then have gone on to date others that I have found out about.

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You would feel like that no matter what she looked like.

I have to say, hes probably dating someone who looks like you becuase he likes how you look... your his type.

I woudlnt read to much into it.



edit: whats creepy is this family I know... the brother and sister only date people who look EXACTLY like their siblings... they are weirdly close for brother/sister....

I found this out when i was dating him and met his sister... ewwwwww

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The thing that really jumped out at me when I read this post was when you said, "I don't like that he's replaced me...it's been five months." The thing is, we girls are naturally jealous beings...I'm convinced that it's in our brain chemistry or something, and even though you clearly don't want to be with this guy anymore, you are still jealous that he has found someone new. Five years is a long time to devote to a relationship, and I'm sure that the bond and connection you developed with this guy was obviously very strong to stay in the relationship that long. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, and has probably been experienced by all women at some point in our lives. The thing is, you don't want this girl to form the connection with him that you had, and the fact that she looks like you makes this even worse in your mind because not only has he replaced the connection that you two had, but he's seemingly matched how you look as well. That's enough to make anyone uncomfortable. The best thing that I can tell you is that over time, it will pass and maybe you two will be able to work it out and be friends. I wouldn't contact him immeadiately because you are obviously still not over him completely, but I would wait a few more months, see how you feel and then give him a ring.

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