chigal28 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 I don't know if I'm depressed, or what, but I get in these phases where I start crying for no apparent reason, and need reassurance big-time. My bf was always very understanding about this--he'd hold me really tight, tell me he loved me, etc. All exactly what I needed. But for the past month or two, when I cry, and can't really explain why (I always have theories about what's bothering me but they're pretty nebulous), he seems to get impatient with me. He doesn't really reassure--instead he'll tell me to relax, or that it's probably just this time of year that's making me sad and I should "cheer up and play with our kittens." I do feel panicky and sad for no reason sometimes, but when he acts this way, my fear changes into: he'll decide I'm too much trouble, he isn't in love with me, and leave me--when his support and love was the reason I felt brave enough to go to therapy in the first place (which is what's dredging up a lot of issues for me.) When I'm my normal happy self, we have a great time together....we laugh, joke around, and just have a blast being together. But I absolutely can't "put on a happy face" all the time if I'm feeling scared and sad. I can manage to push past it sometimes, but not all the time. I want him to love me just as much when I'm sad and confused as when I'm happy and spunky. Am I too needy, to expect reassurance when I'm sad even if I don't know why? Has it just taken its toll on him, and he's annoyed? He said he feels like he's "tried to give me advice" but it doesn't work and I'm still sad. I don't NEED advice. I need a hug, and to hear him tell me how much he loves me. I told him that this morning, and he said he feels like he has to say the "right thing" right when I need to hear it. I don't know, whenever he has needed reassurance, I'm more than happy to give it to him. Granted he doesn't need it as much as I do, but still. Isn't that what you do when you love someone? I don't know how to make him understand. My needs are simple--but I guess maybe too frequent. I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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