confused as to reasons for suicide

[jessicake]

What is the reason that even though I feel fine and good generally, I still want to commit suicide?

 

I don't really understand..

[isidore]

I feel ok in general as well, jessicake. I have no way of even knowing if what you're dealing with is similiar to what I'm experiencing. I find myself wanting to commit suicide too. I mean I'm not an emotional wreck, but I can just be sitting calmly doing whatever, and the urge to die pops up. Kind of like a malicious gopher.

 

I think I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life figuring out why that is. I feel like I'm trying every day to deal with the emotional pain I've experienced and for the most part I function quite normally and can even be kind of chipper at times. But then I'll think, "Gosh, life is taking forever. I wish I had the force of will to end it" or, "It would be nice to die in my sleep tonight."

 

The best answer I can think of is that these sorts of feelings, like all feelings, wax and wane. An emotional snapshot of any one of us would most certainly reveal many emotions at once. Now I'm just rambling. I hope this helped, even if just a tiny bit.

[Daddy Bear]

I've never heard of anyone wanting to die without at least thinking they had a reason. Have either of you seen a doctor about this?

[shadow34]

Actually its quite common to have no " specific reason" for suicide.

 

The person contemplating suicide often feels an overwhelming sadness within, something unless your going through it you just dont understand.

 

Its important to remember my friend, that these feelings of not wanting to be around anymore are "ok". You dont have to feel guilty for them.

 

Jess and Is my heart really does go out to you. Did you ever see that post where I had a link to a suicide site. It will make you cry and hit at your heart strings but it will finally make you feel like someone understands.

 

The most important thing is to surround yourself with friends, family anyone that you feel is supportive. Suicide happens when the pain outways the coping resources.

 

I cant describe how you feel at all, but I can say that I have been down that road. When I was 17 I certainly wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

But with the proper guidance, and people who love and cared for me, I was able to see that ending my life just wasnt necessary. I wasnt going to let these thoughts take over.

 

Im not going to tell you your thoughts are wrong or any of that garbage everyone tells you. Just know that we all love you here, that your part of this big family, even if we havent met, you have a place in my heart.

 

Big hugs go out to you, both of you and I hope given some guidance and support perhaps those thoughts will begin to fade.

 

*hugs*

[grumbly_bum]

I think a lot of people who haven't experienced these types of emotions for themselves think that just because you want to commit suicide, or think about it, that you're going to do it at the first given opportunity.

 

Obviously this isn't always the case, which is a good thing, but there's definetly something there that's making you feel it...

 

Maybe you can't see it, or don't want to admit to it, but something makes you have these feelings pop up at random intervals... I dunno, I guess it's different with everyone as to what the cause may be. It's good that you've at least put the question forward to yourself. I know that just talking about it helps me A LOT.

 

I hope you find away to overcome these feelings jessiecake, suicidial thoughts aren't the most pleasant thing that's for sure.

[Bethany]

What is the reason that even though I feel fine and good generally, I still want to commit suicide?

 

I don't really understand..

 

It's likely that something deep down inside is bothering you, an anxiety of sorts. Or it could be mental habit left over from a past problem, which if you pay no fearsome attention to, with time, will pass on it's own.

 

Note: Fighting them or trying not to think them makes you worse, they feel even more scary and command more and more attention and can take over your mind more than you care them to.

The less concerned you are i.e. accepting them as something that you do for the time being, the less important they becomes, and the sooner likely it will go. Good Luck.

[jessicake]

thank you for your post

 

I've never heard of anyone wanting to die without at least thinking they had a reason. Have either of you seen a doctor about this?

 

somebloke, no i havent... i really should. I think that it is necessary for me to. It's not that I don't have reasons, there are definite catalyst... but perhaps none that would justify (even thou, i know nothing justifies suicide) even the contemplation of suicide. especially since i feel that the catalysts are actually positive.

 

Shadow, yes I did see the link to the website. I came accross it a few months ago when I was looking for resources to combat suicidal thoughts. The site helped only temporarily.. .and then I felt that it just became words.. Althought I genuinely believe that what it says on the website is sooo true.

 

Its strange, I feel that ending my life is not necessary.. rather it is such a waste. I am ashamed of feeling this way because I have so much going for me.

[Daddy Bear]

Actually its quite common to have no " specific reason" for suicide.

Well... yes and no. Depression, usually neurochemically-induced, that leads to self-destructive ideation without an apparent external negative trigger is well-documented. Absent that, however, it's a different story. After re-reading isidore's post I can see that he alludes to the possible of such a phenomenon. jessicake, on the other hand, claims nothing like that, and seems to be baffled at the presense of suicidal thoughts.

 

Its important to remember my friend, that these feelings of not wanting to be around anymore are "ok". You dont have to feel guilty for them.

Couldn't agree more. There is no need for shame, nor is there any need to accept these feelings without exploring ways to combat them; e.g., to see what a doctor or counselor can do to help. As other posters in this thread are suggesting, every problem has some sort of cause.

 

Both of these folks have my sympathy, and my hope that they will seek expert help.