I don't understand...

[ShellNeverBeMe]

Hey all...haven't posted in quite some time. I posted months ago about my bf...now ex. I cheated on him and basically it was a relationship from hell. We never said I love you or anything but there was alot of passion. Well we went a month without talking and I've been trying like crazy to get back with him. Sometimes he takes, and sometimes he pulls away. I've apologized, told him I missed him and I wouldn't hurt him again. He claims I never hurt him. Well on Valentine's Day we got a snowstorm and I jokingly said he should shovel my driveway. I went to work that night. Later that night he text me and said he just shoveled my driveway. I thought that was soooo sweet. I called him and thanked him. So on Saturday night I was out with the girls and I text him asking what he was doing. He ignored me. I tried calling. He ignored me. When I asked if he was seeing someone else he responded that he was sleeping. I have to admit I got really mad because I know he was ignoring me on purpose. I called him 4 times, and when I asked if he was seeing someone, THEN he responded. Why couldn't he say right away he was sleeping? I tried calling him tonight and he picked up and hung up on me. Now again, I've never really been affectionate with him or said I love you. After he picked up and hung up on me I text him with "I love you" He responded "I don't" to which I replied "Yea I know." He then said he was going to bed and goodnight. Yet he's signed online right now. I don't get it. If he doesn't love me or care about me, why would he shovel my driveway during a snowstorm on VALENTINES DAY? This was really out of character for him and it was reallly sweet on his part. I don't get it.

[CluelessGuy321]

He was probably just trying to be nice or something...

 

maybe you should leave the poor guy alone? Sounds like he's been through hell.

[CarnelianButterfly]

He may have done it because he was being nice and needed some exercise.

He's been pretty clear that he's not interested in you, but you still pester him. He's probably not telling you anything because you don't have any right to ask or know.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

maybe he was trying to be nice and thought you could be friends, but if you start pressuring him again like you are a girlfriend (or want to be), he cuts you off again...

 

it really is hard to be 'just friends' with an ex because there can be lots of misunderstandings about what the real status of the relationship is, one person thinking there's a chance, and the other person not wanting a relationship, though wanting a friendship.

 

so it sounds like he wanted friendship, but not to start things up again for more than that. if you cheated on him, he may never be able to get over that to be your boyfriend again. lots of people consider cheating unforgiveable because they can't trust you, though they may be ok with trying to be civil to one another.

 

so don't push him too much, or he might not even want to be friends anymore.

[J6hn]

When you cheat on someone you lose their trust.

 

I don't think he's ready to put his trust in you. He'll be nice, he'll shovel your drive way in the spirit of the day but he wont put himself in a position to go through the pain of being cheated on again.