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What Is It That You Want From A Relationship

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I always considered a friend as someone I want for company, companionship, for fun.


For dating/relationship I figure its like interviewing for marriage, and I do mean that literally. I always ask myself: "Is there mutual respect. How do we get along together. Are the one that I want to say "I do" with. Are we similar enough. Can our differences help us both. Can we talk about things that would break most friendships. et cetera..." Ya know, the tough stuff being possible along with some happy go lucky things that are mutually beneficial and wanted by the both of us.

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How does what we want from a friendship differ from what we want with a significant other?


As a starting point I think your SO is ideally also your best friend. Over and above the things you would want in a friendship would include physical attraction, some chemistry/sparks, a sense of partnership in your life that goes deeper than everyday friendships do.

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I have enough friends, not that I dont want my SO to be friend, that makes it all the better (perhaps). But I am looking for a connection and communication, someone who reminds me that despite the fact that each person has a separate mind, a separate body, and separate heart, there is hope because people who love you are willing to try and understand and empathize with you. So maybe they can be another little voice in your head besides your own.

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Friendship to me, is that person you can call on in times of need, and they you. You can share yourself with them, and again, vice versa. A good relationship should start off as a friendship (however in this world, it does not always go this way), and grow and bloom into something wonderful and intimate. What I would look for in a partner is someone with whom I can share a commonality of many things. Life, values, dreams, communication. I agree that not every friendship can grow into a relationship, but it is my belief that many can. . . and do.

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For me it's about having found this one single person who I could so easliy picture myself walking through my life with, who I want to wake with each morning, and still be in love with when I am old.... it's about a mutual admiration, respect, attraction, happiness, a companion for life... a relationship brings things to us that only relationships of this sort can.

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There are different types of relationships obviously, and different people have different standards. For me, in my current stage of life, my relationship reflects me being with my best friend and wanting to share our futures together.


Generally I would think a hallmark of a romantic relationship over a platonic friendship is a sense of priority. They prioritise you in their life, and you prioritise them. There are obligations and responsibilities that come with that level of trust and companionship that you don't tend to get so much with "just friends". In a monogamous relationship, you have essentially promised to forgo all others - it's an all or nothing concept that reinforces and builds upon the friendship and sexual connection.

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