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How I have been feeling, since the ex started to text me


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Hi all

 

I have been much better than I was in the last few weeks. I don't think so much about my ex and I don't feel the need to cry. I think I'm finally trying to let go.

This doesn't mean I forgot her. Even if I have almost given up of the idea of getting her back, I must admit that's something I would really love that might happen.

After one month of NC, she started to text me. The first time was in the weekend before this one that passed. She invited me to go to a bar where she was DJ'ing. I said thanks but I already have another appointments. This weekend, she texted me again. She was passing by my home town and asked me if I was there (at the weekends I'm not there, most of the times). I said no, I wasn't. She replied that was OK, if I was there we could go for a coffee. I din't texted her back.

I went to a bar right next to the one where she was last Saturday night and I saw some of her friends. I even said "Hi" to one of them. Maybe they told her I was there and she might ask herself why didn't I went to see her, since I was near. I was so nervous about the possibility to meet her that I asked my friend to get out of there as fast as we could. We stayed there onlt for about 20 minutes or so.....So, maybe she knew I was not in my home town and sent me this last text just to joke with me or she simply didn't knew I was in her home town.

She always said we should remain friends and it would be a pity if that wouln't happen. By other hand I told her, probably, I would disapear from her life. I told her that this didn't mean that we wouldn't bump in each others' way, once in a while, but she would not expect me to ask her to go out or something.

So, now that she's texting me, I'm starting to feel without knowing what to say. I've been saying NO everytime she invites me for something but, if she continues, she will notice I don't want to meet her. I'm thinking about telling her that I'm not feeling confortable with her. I never felt confortable near the girls who dumped me, which I think is normal.

 

If a girl who didn't wanted to know me, who I really am, and dumped me after one month, why should we be friends? Of course, if we remain friends we might know us better and fall in love again, but that's just not make sense.

 

While we were in the relationship she was always comparing me with her friends just like she was telling me that I was not as good as them (at least that's what I felt). So, why should we be friends after these things have been said?

 

She also told me I was too cold (and I was, due to feel very insecure with some of her atittudes) and that she was used to a different type of men (probably more confident than me). So, why should we remain friends?

 

It would be very tough for her if I tell her these things. If I do it she will notice I'm still "traumatized" by these words (and I am but I don't want her to know that). But I think she deserves to ear this.

And I don't want to loose her for good because, in the future, when I finally moved on 100%, a friendship with her might be good and...who knows?

 

What would you do if you were in my position?

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Tell her straight up. It'll avoid all of the game playing and you'll be able to move on for real.

 

Deeply I know I should do it, and I'm shure I will...If we are meant to be friends, in the future, we'll be. My problem is that I always put a lot of hope in everything I get involved. Hope is a good thing but, in relationships, is the worst thing you can feel.

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Deeply I know I should do it, and I'm shure I will...If we are meant to be friends, in the future, we'll be. My problem is that I always put a lot of hope in everything I get involved. Hope is a good thing but, in relationships, is the worst thing you can feel.

 

Hope is good, but only when combined with a good healthy dose of realism

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Hope is good, but only when combined with a good healthy dose of realism

 

Realism...That's something I tend to forget...that's the most desireable thing when a relationship is good but it's definitely not good when it goes wrong.

That's something I need to work on, together with putting a lot less expectations in relationships and people.

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together with putting a lot less expectations in relationships and people.

But my friend, don't go too far and think that all is doomed forever and that you'll never find happiness and that all people are going to eventually fail on you. I know it seems that way right now, but in reality you just have a little more learning to do when it comes to interacting with women. The good thing is that this is a very learnable skill and you can take steps to improve if you keep analyzing it objectively.

 

I went through relationship after relationship of the same problems. Start off hot and heavy, gradual decline in interest and sexual desire from her end, till the eventual day when I got dumped. but now I see a bigger picture and can understand what's really going on in a girl's head so the trend stopped.

 

I'm nobody special either. If I can do it, anyone can. Heal up, get back out there, and then post your results with the next one. We can help you out along the way.

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But my friend, don't go too far and think that all is doomed forever and that you'll never find happiness and that all people are going to eventually fail on you.

 

Well, I'm not so pessimistic. Maybe the word cautious about my feelings would be more appropriate.

 

I know it seems that way right now, but in reality you just have a little more learning to do when it comes to interacting with women.

 

Well, we all must learn more, otherwise we won't be here.

And the same goes for the girls too.

I'm glad so that both of us, boys and girls, can be here learning with each other.

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