Do I need to apologize? More stupid college drama.

[aresolver]

Over the weekend, two friends who I haven't seen in a long time called me and came over to my place for the evening to have drinks.

 

The evening went okay, but my two companions were certainly getting tipsy. I stepped into the other room for about two minutes, and I returned to find them on my computer. My laptop, which had been closed and in sleep mode on a nearby desk, had been opened and they were reading my email.

 

Naturally, they had zeroed in on the email (among about 20 on the page) where another friend had offered to come up with an excuse so I wouldn't have to hang out with them. They were upset, and I was equally upset that they went to such lengths to read my email -- which included family correspondence, financial statements, and medical stuff.

 

I was incensed, became very defensive, and I didn't respond to the situation very wisely. As they walked out the door, I yelled, "What do you expect?"

 

These people are no longer speaking to me, although I've heard through back channels if I "apologized" things might return to normal. Did I do wrong here? Do I owe them an apology?

 

Or, because they breached my privacy and haven't apologized, should I no longer consider them friends and move on with my life?

 

Thanks for your help.

[EvaGina]

2 points..

 

1: they deliberatly WENT THROUGH YOUR PERSONAL CORRESPONDANCE!!

 

2: if they are the kind of friends you have to make up excuses to get out of dates with, you obviously dont care that much anyways

[rusty_boi]

In my opinion u both owe each other an apology, the fact that u didnt handle the situation well and the fact u didnt want them to be up there. They too need to apologise for going through your personal stuff.

[i1dr]

They were wrong - dispicably so - and that is the only point here.

 

Friends? that must be a loose generous definition of the term as far as these two "gentlemen" are concerned and brings to mind an apropos saying.

"With friends like that ... who needs enemies?"

[aresolver]

Thanks for everyone's help and support.

 

Because I attend a small college and my path will inevitably cross with these people again over the next few years, I decided that I needed to break the silence -- even if I have no desire to remain friends.

 

I share several mutual friends with these people, and I did not want to create a situation where individuals are forced to "take sides."

 

I ended up sending a short (~60 words) businesslike "apology" this afternoon. Although it was very difficult for me to do, I apologized for "responding to the situation the way I did" and I briefly explained that I was very upset by their actions.

 

I haven't heard back. Regardless of what happens next, though, I feel that apologizing has helped me put an end to this fiasco (at least in my mind).