I thought she liked me, but....

[JzE419]

Hey Guys,

 

There is this girl that I went to college with that I have got to go out with on a couple of lunch dates and a dinner date or two that I really thought I was in the process of "securing", but I'm afraid I have lost her interest to another guy. She doesn't really seem to have a large circle of friends and I'm not sure if perhaps the fact that I know EVERYBODY bothers her. It just seems like sometimes she gets a little discouraged when we are out to do something and other people come up talking and stuff.

 

I know who the other guy is... He's from a religious family and is sometimes moody but is pretty shy. I know for a fact that when he first met Brandy that he was pretty much infatuated and would play around with her by punching or kicking at her or stuff (in a playful way). I kind of become concerned when he would walk by and she would clinch her fist or shove at him and stuff. He had to take a trip a couple of weeks back to Toronto (where he has family) and I overheard her tell him on several occasions to be "very careful on your trip up to Toronto". She'll never mention activities that me and her do to him or anybody that he knows (which leads me to believe that she may be looking for a way to break things off with me so she can go with him). She's not really a religious person, but she has expressed interest in it to him and will talk about various things from her past (childhood) to him and we were watching something on T.V. the other day and she smiled and said, I'll bet Adam knows all about this... I've also noticed her watch him walk by her and not even speak (when he is in one of those days) and she'll place herself in a position to be between him and wherever he might be going to talk. Even more distubring for me here lately is that he'll come right out and call Brandy "wonderful" and he'll talk about all kinds of subjects to her and she'll talk about subjects that she SURE WON'T talk about to me (sports). Finally, she was talking about going to the grocery store the other day and one of her friends (that is a mutual friend between us) told me that Brandy had said, "I wish I would have known Adam's phone number because he loves coming along with me." Have I lost her or is all of this coincidence?

[emma34]

Hmm.. well from the sounds of your description - you may be right about her interest in this guy. As a woman, I too have found myself in a position of being interested/seeing more than one guy at a time, and my only advice to you is...if you are so interested in her show her that you are better than this other guy. Really put your time and effort into making her happy and that is the only way she will forget about this other guy. He isn't just going to disappear and its not like shes dating him or anything - so its pretty much your only choice.

 

On the other hand, dont let it eat you alive. It may be out of your hands at this point. And of course there is the possibility that they are just friends - and if that is the case and you continue to "secure" her, you will eventually be able to become secure in their friendship.

 

 

Maybe the solution is to keep it low-key with her for awhile, since she may be intimidated by you " knowing everyone " also.

[scotty77]

From what you describe it does sound like she is interested in the other guy you describe.I wouldn't go all out trying to show you are better than this other guy,that might have the opposite effect.As the above poster mentioned maybe you could just play it low key for awhile or say something like ''since you seem to enjoy so and so's company so much I will let the two of you hang out for awhile'' .Perhaps this might rekindle her interest in you.Good luck.

[Altruist]

Don't act jealous at all. Rather step back and give the two of them space. If she's just infatuated ith this guy, the novelty will soon wear off. On the other hand if the relationship between them develops more, its better now before you had become serious with this girl. Sometimes loving someone means letting go.

[ghost69]

i wouldn't let this guy win her over. if you like her so much, pump up your game. only do this if it suits your personality. be more playful with her, show her that type of attention she is getting from him. if this isn't in you to do, you might want to just let them have at it. she isn't for you then.

 

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[Altruist]

On the contrary, I think ignoring her will give you more chances with her. She will realize that you are not clingy and can survive perfectly well without her.

[ghost69]

just don't beat up the guy. that will really make you look bad.

 

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