Shock to the system - a good thing?

[Parsley]

Today I found out that my ex got dumped on Valentines' Day. I wasn't aware he was with anyone. He dumped me 2 days after Christmas. He contacted me on the first of feb (I haven't remembered on purpose, I just changed the calendar seconds before he text me) saying that he missed me, asking if I missed him, asking me to see him the next day. It might just be me, but I don't think I'd call it getting dumped if I was in a relationship for less than two weeks, so he must have been with someone when he texted me. At first I was *so* upset at realising this. I also found some stuff that he'd written that made me feel so cheap and used. But it only took me having a shower after that to get into this most amazing mood! The best I've been in for a seriously long time! I don't really understand how I can possibly feel so good, considering what I've found out and the conclusions I've come to from those...such as the feeling of being used.

 

I think that the huge shock to the system was the smack in the face that I needed to make me really and truly see how amazingly better off I'm going to be without that guy. I know we all say it a million times after we get broken up with....but I feel it so strongly. Even up to yesterday, if I thought about seeing him I felt awful. But now I think about it and feel amazing, like if I saw him I could and would laugh and not give a toss about him at all.

 

Is this something that's fairly common? If any of you have experiences similar, I really would love to hear about them. If this is just my reaction to it, and by tomorrow I'm going to be a big pile of jelly, I'd rather have some time to prepare myself for that!

[kate111]

Wow!

 

That's great. True revenge.

 

I hope this happens to me.

[EvaGina]

 

Yep, my ex got the 16 yr old he was cheating on my with pregnant, wrote off his car while drunk and generally made a shambles of his life.

 

Its nice to know that his life is awful becuase of him, not beucase of me.

 

although I do feel overly sorry for the girl hes with, she cant get away... I saw them the other day and met her for the first time (its been 4 years) and she looked TERRIFIED that he was talking to another girl

 

anyways, GOOD parsley

[Dako]

I don't think you need revenge to feel this way. When we get to the point we knock the ex off their pedestal, and stop looking back at our losses we're able to see clearly.

I never realized how many little things about my ex drove me crazy until way after the breakup. I'd never wish her any trouble, but it can be liberating to see them as humans like everyone else.

[Parsley]

I don't understand why it was this that pushed him off that pedestal. It was very sudden. And it's not because he got dumped on v-day, not at all. Or that he got dumped at all. I just seem to have seen him in a much clearer light all of a sudden, and now I feel like I just don't care at all anymore. Like...he could call me right now and say "I miss you, I love you, I want to try again" and I could say "Not a chance in hell." and really and truly mean it, and not regret it in the slightest.

[Dako]

Priceless milestone in your recovery!

[Parsley]

Has anyone else found that a big shock that normally would devastate you be the thing that pulls you a lot closer back to who you were?

[uniballpen]

well done parsley!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dako]

That's so undeniably true for me. When the dust settles, I understand myself so much more. Life gives you tests.

[numbhead]

watch urself parsley!

 

im still waiting for my ex to have some justice brought herway,, i know shes a great person with a great future etc... but i would love it for her to have rough justice... or for her life not to work out as rosie as i know it will!!

 

about ur sudden change of mood....., be careful ive got a feeling it wont last forever... i too keep feeling like this every so often,, then the sh*t kicks in again and i feel really bad.... but the upside is,,,, im beginin to learn that every time this happens,,, i feel less crap every time!!

 

and i feel like ive grown up in the past 2 months and im beginin to find myself for the first time.... i spent 2 1/2 yrs hidding from myself and living for my ex.... its been a massive shock being on my own again.....i just hope i can mke things work.... i dont know about you but ive got to completely rethink my life .... gping to the gym is helping my clear cobwebs!!

[Parsley]

Thanks numbhead - I most certainly am feeling very cautious about my emotions. I'm so happy that I'm finally happy that I don't want anything to change that.

 

I'm trying to change my life. Trying to find a job....exercise and all that. I can't wait until I go back to uni in october and find a new life again!

 

The thing I'm trying to cling onto about all of this is how I've suddenly seen this true character out of him that I now see that I did see before. I want to trust my instincts this year, but I'm not sure what they're telling me about this. I think they're still reeling too.