Does she want more than just friends?

[teach]

Hi all,

 

I have worked with a girl, Claire, that has become a very good friend for almost 3 years now. When we first met i was attracted to her, but I soon realised that she had a long term boyfriend and I didn't persue it any further.

 

About 4 months ago they split up after 10 years. I was in a short-term relationship at the time (since ended), but she was jealous of the friendship and closeness I had built up with my friend Claire. At the time I didn't think much of it, but as well as my ex's comments, my friends ex-boyfriend was jealous of me, and some other friends of mine and hers have commented on our chemistry, our compatibility and our flirting.

 

This has got me thinking. Then I started getting comments off her such as 'well, if anything was gonna happen, it would have happened by now'. Then one night out of the blue i got a 'i miss you' text, and 'i love you' text. Whenever we were round each others house she now will come close and snuggle up. We have now even talked about being together, although losely.

 

However, there is someone else that likes her at work too. And they have kissed on occasions. I don't like treading on anyones toes and i asked him if he likes her. He says he does, but he doesn't want to mess her about and he doesn't seem quite ready for anything with her. She has said to me and other friends that she doesn't like him that much, but I get the feeling having known her for so long that she does.

 

I admit, I'm a little jealous. But would be happy to leave well alone if she did like him and anything happened between them. I would be happy for her. But she doesn't say this and although she insists we are friends will call me 'honey', 'babe' etc and be affectionate and flirty and she even bought me a valentines card.

 

She is a wonderful girl, and if I thought I had a chance, I would not like to miss out. I would also wish to take things slow, but her 'romance' with another work colleague is pushing me into saying something when i'd probably rather not. But as i say i can't help feeling a little jealous.

 

I suppose non of you really know what is going on her head, but if i'm being completely stupid, and wasting my time i'd like to know. Please give some advice........

[DN]

Ask her out - now. This very minute.

 

Go on, stop reading this and call her.

[Kalika]

I'm going to say this as delicately as I can.. I think she may enjoy the flirting or the attention she gets from you, but I am not convinced (based on the limited information I have) that she would want a relationship with you. I also suspect that even if you were in a relationship, she'd still flirt with others.

 

The reason I am saying this is because she is not really doing much to stop you from thinking there's a flirtation between her and this other guy. Plus, she was flirting with you even when she knew you had someone else. That speaks volumes.

 

So basically, I'm telling you to proceed with caution