ive got a question for you guys!

[whatsthestory]

ive been split with my gf for nrly 3 months, slowly im getting over her but i just can shake her off my mind for obvious reasons.

 

i know most u guys lookin at this thread are probably in a similar situation to me!

 

i think im ok with everything then i suddenly think about my gf having sex with another person,,,, its like a stab in the heart... picturing her having sex with another man.... i know theres nothing i can do and shes out of my life now and she has told me bluntly that she has moved on.... but thats just the point... she has moved on... and im sat here (trying to keep busy... sorting my life out... getting my priorities sorted) but just cant get this piosonous mindset to go away. ,,, it must be a subconscious thing thats killed my ego and self worth

 

i just cant see me getting over this problem

 

any advise would be greatly appreciated!!

[whatsthestory]

i'll just say.... when i start thinking about sex,,, thats when i think about her... if im thinking about it she definitely is and probably (almost certainly is getting lots of it) and im just not in a situation to be with someone else... thats the last thing i want right now!

[Scotcha]

I've felt that way before. Part of getting over it comes with letting go. The rest of it comes with moving on entirely.. And maybe even finding someone else. Believe me, there will come a time when you couldn't care less and you'll be thinking more about yourself. (And perhaps that someone new too.)

 

Chin up. It's irrational to expect anyone to be single and celibate forever. That goes for your ex and for yourself.

[Goblin]

Bro, I know how that really feels. Feel sorry for you...

 

BUT

 

you have gotta get out of this man. Its not making ur life any better if you do a reality check on urself.

 

Thats y sometimes having sex before marriage can lead to emotional problems like this when couples part. Your gf could be going thru the same too and it culd also be painful for her imagining u with someone else.

 

There are only two choices you can do abt this :

 

1) Continue having this thought thats killing you

2) Occupy your mind with something more healthier like taking up sports or a new hobby that will keep u busy.

 

Lifes too short i feel. Worrying abt these things makes life even shorter...

[whatsthestory]

thanks scotcha and goblin!

 

lol letting go.... thats a gd point,... i cant seem to do it,,, its the same old story that most pple on this site have and the same old saying comes up "time is a gd healer" if i someone tells me this wonderful nugget of advise again i swear i will go crazy lol

 

when u say,,, "It's irrational to expect anyone to be single and celibate forever"

 

i know you are right but my ex is already at that stage,,, and because she is at this stage already it hurts even more.... i really cant see her thinkin about me at all,,, because of the way she has treated me... this has got to be a woman thing,, tell me if im wrong!!--

 

they can be very cold and selfish when they want to be.... they have probably got better control over their minds and can just blank things from their memory at will! it was less tahn 4 months ago when she was telling me she loved me and was thinkin about our future together.. marriege etc... but thats another story altogether

 

life is too short an that gets me more frustrated cos i just cant get this cow out of my head.... love is poison

[Ladyface]

Sorry if this makes you go crazy, but ... time is the ONLY healer!

 

Yesterday my ex (who lives right around the corner from me) called me just to say hi (which he hadn't done in well over a month). About eight hours later, I was walking home from a party and I saw him walking into his house - with another girl. Talk about a rough night.

 

In the past I would have done something irrational by now, but I've been through this once before and I know that the only thing that can make your feelings/jealousy go away is time. I can promise you that in a few months you'll feel a lot better about the situation. It just sucks that you can't speed time up! But you can spend this time trying to help yourself move on - do things that take your mind off her; work out, spend more time with friends, read. It'll get better, and we're all here for you.

[DavidLarson]

I don't know what to tell you to do between now and then but I can tell you from experience, the second you find someone else that you like; you'll forget completely about her.

 

I was dating a girl back in September and she broke up with me. She started dating someone new about 3 weeks later and every time I saw a picture of them or even thought about them kissing it made me angry.

 

I got a girlfriend of my own a few weeks later (not to counter her new relationship, it just happened) and I hit it off with this new girl and didn't give a damn about the last girl anymore.

 

Point is, it does pass. When will it for you? I don't know, but you should try to move on. It doesn't sound like something serious is in your cards just yet; but try dating or just going out with some girls. You'll see; it'll help you move on.

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

[whatsthestory]

ye ladyface im officially crazy now

 

davidL-- i think getting another woman would probably do the trick but i need to sort my own head out and life out before i do any of that,,,, knowing me id get another gf and she will dump me because of how screwed up i am, then id feel even worse..

 

this still does not help the fact that when i have these feelings i think of her.... the only comfort is possibly thinking that she should be doing the same thing as me... sorting her own head out.... instead of jumping into another relationship.... she always said to me she hated being alone,,, so i can almost garrantee her being with someone else....

 

thanks for the advice tho mate!

[pacopaco]

(trying to keep busy... sorting my life out... getting my priorities sorted) but just cant get this piosonous mindset to go away.

 

Keep doing what you're doing. don't worry. She's probably picturing you having sex with some hottie you met, too. When things are more clear you'll think "who cares who and how many."The poisonous mindset will leave you. You can hold me to that.

[rsxguy520]

the only thing i tell myself is this.."she is gonna catch something, since this guy has been around like no other."