Batya33 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 A former acquaintance of mine is a beautiful woman. Many years ago her mother noticed that she looked down at the ground when she walked and missed men noticing her. She told her to stop doing that. Shortly thereafter, she was walking down the street in a busy city (where she lived) and a man smiled at her from accross the street. They've been married for years now. Link to comment
MushroomGod Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Ok i've gotten pretty good at getting a girl 'interested' just by eye contact. Try this: If your in the right type of setting, like a classroom or something, this is real easy to do. I wait till the girl is looking at me directly, then I look back with a some-what serious look on my face. I look for a good 3-5 seconds, letting her know, "yeah i'm looking at you." After good eye contact and been established look away and don't look at her anymore, kind of like you forgot about her. More often then not after that I see the girl glancing at me constantly out of the corner of my eye. Does anyone else do this? Yeah I do sorta, eye contact is huge, it's really good for a ateention. Plus the way you do it shows that you are dominant and confident. Not just with girls but with people in general. Try to hold the contact until she turns away first. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 don't look too long though. she might think you are a freak. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
emit_remmus Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Talk to her and use some wit. Be funny. Link to comment
Leonhart Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Oh I didn't mean being extroverted or bold - there is a vast continuum between shyness and being bold! I wouldn't change for anyone either. I was very shy and awkward as a child - I changed because as I got older and craved friendships being that way wasn't effective. I didn't see shyness as "who I was" that couldn't be changed - I saw it as hampering my goal of connecting to others (even though I didn't quite put it that way at the time). But, yes, if being alone is comfortable for you of course you shouldn't change! However, I think it is unfair to expect women to put in that extra effort - that extra reassurance you say you need - if they can't tell in the first place whether you're interested. Oh, okay. We're more on the same page then. Except I don't see being shy as a necessarily bad thing. There are worse things one can be. I am probably better off as a loner anyway, so it's okay. I do expect anyone interested in me to put forth some extra effort, I believe I am worth it. Can't knock me for having feeling good about myself. I suppose I could be a little more friendly if someone has expressed some form of interest with me. But as I said, I sort of like being alone, even though it can be an emotionally painful and bitter experience. I don't want to sound too jaded, but I guess I believe that being on one's own isn't such a bad thing. In fact, it may be more preferable than being with someone. Especially when we look at the divorce rates and abuse that comes with so many 'romances.' And being hurt is never fun, emotionally or otherwise. For me, it's probably not worth the risk of 'putting myself out there.' What payoff is really worth it? Honestly now. And Orlander, no disrespect, but simply because I was born with a penis means that I must be the one to do everything? I don't think that's fair, or a commonly held view in this day and age. Who still goes by those old traditional gender stereotypes for male and female behavior anymore? Most girls I know don't like the macho, tough guys, so expecting them to be the timid, docile female who lets the man approach her does not register with them. And I think that guys who just brazenly approach any woman they want without no interest on her part are either very successful already with women, since otherwise they'd have little reason for such an odd behavior. And I do believe you can gauge interest by reading body language. Most human behavior is non-verbal, so to ignore that would be almost foolish. Anyway, I've prattled on enough. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 I applaud you for being honest with yourself about the positives for you in being "uncoupled." I hope it is not just because of the negatives of being part of a couple - I have been in several serious relationships and there was never any abuse etc - obviously it happens, unfortunately! but IMHO that is not a reason to avoid coupling up). The man should not have to do everything and the image of the docile female is a bit nauseating. I believe that women should show interest, enthusiasm, be warm, approachable and friendly and in general the man in the beginning should do most of the calling, planning and initiating (at least in my age group - 30s and up). Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 just make the moves. if you get fired, so what. you will get over it. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
Leonhart Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I applaud you for being honest with yourself about the positives for you in being "uncoupled." I hope it is not just because of the negatives of being part of a couple - I have been in several serious relationships and there was never any abuse etc - obviously it happens, unfortunately! but IMHO that is not a reason to avoid coupling up). The man should not have to do everything and the image of the docile female is a bit nauseating. I believe that women should show interest, enthusiasm, be warm, approachable and friendly and in general the man in the beginning should do most of the calling, planning and initiating (at least in my age group - 30s and up). I think that most men should do the approaching - mind you, I'm not at all advocating a special set of rules for myself, but being the alpha male and just randomly approaching women has never been me. I don't want it to be me, either. In any event, I just don't want to be hurt again emotionally. I don't think I could go through another painful break-up, I'm very fragile. I just don't see it as being worth the risk of everything. And I hate the idea of just being with someone to alleviate my own feelings of loneliness. I was perfectly content being single years ago, so why should that change now? Just because I'm lonely? I don't think that's fair to the other person. I'd rather go back to the days when I was "Alone, but not lonely." And in those days, I was perfectly happy being single and alone. It didn't bother me in the least, well, barely anyway. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Absolutely it is a balancing test - for me the balance always has been because it is worth it and I respect those who come out differently on the subject particularly those who, like you, gave it honest thought and came to that decision with sufficient clarity. My guess is at some point you will change your mind - just a guess- not because you "should" just -- because. Link to comment
Leonhart Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I think that I would be spared a lot of trouble, heartache, time and money were I to remain single. If I were to overcome my negative emotions completely, I would be much more at peace and content in my life. Right now, that's my goal. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 just be single. don't push for relationships. go out and have a good time. let the women hit on you then act. women approach guys too. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
Leonhart Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Well, they would have to. I expect it. But to be honest, I don't really want a relationship. It's not worth my time and what reason is there to desire one? Just because everyone else has one/wants one? Nah, not for me. Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 I would have to say that it depends on exactly WHY I'm trying to get her attention. Could you elaborate please? Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Hi.. I was just reading this and was wondering Orlando: " met a woman recently at a local coffee shop. I had seen her several times before there, but this time I saw an opportunity to say something funny and did. We made eye contact and smiled. I got her name and know she is single. We have had a few conversations. Next time I see her I am asking her out. Another woman I met at the same coffee shop smiled at me and made pleasant conversation. I didn't think anything of it because she had a ring on her left ring finger and seemingly smiled at everyone. I recently found out that the ring was a gift from her grandmother and her ring finger is the only finger it fits. She also really likes me and we are in the early stages of beginning what might be a meaning relationship." Excuse me for prying but are you dating or planning on dating two women at a time? You said you were in the early stages of a possible meaningful relationship, but on the other hand, you mention meeting another different woman weeks before you plan on asking out...... Hmmm... would you mind terribly clarifying this for me? And I'm not sure if looking at a guy causes him to know you are interested. I look at nice looking guys all the time, but they never seem to look back. Maybe they just think i'm looking at them just because, not cuz I'm attracted to them. Or maybe the way I'm looking at them is all wrong. Is there a proper way to look at a guy you are interested in, that causes him to be interested in you? Most guys I look at never look back at me in this town. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 hit her with a rubberband from accross the room. then when she turns, wave. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
fredericvo Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Ok i've gotten pretty good at getting a girl 'interested' just by eye contact. Try this: If your in the right type of setting, like a classroom or something, this is real easy to do. I wait till the girl is looking at me directly, then I look back with a some-what serious look on my face. I look for a good 3-5 seconds, letting her know, "yeah i'm looking at you." After good eye contact and been established look away and don't look at her anymore, kind of like you forgot about her. More often then not after that I see the girl glancing at me constantly out of the corner of my eye. Does anyone else do this? Yeah pretty much the same strategy I use... though in my case I'll look again a few times.. Say like once every 20 minutes or so... what works also is pretending you are fighting your smile and try to remain serious just after u have looked away.. I've had girls who then also started smiling Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 i used to do that in high school when i changed to a different one. got in a fight over her man with it. i won. lol. but that was kid stuff. i always do things like the 3-5 second stare. it works a lot. especially in college. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
fredericvo Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 it works in many places such as a McDonalds or a mall or whatever Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 don't go to mcDs to get chicks. it is good in a mall though. just gotta be careful because a lot of young girls hang out in malls. ......................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Even though it's the man that often makes the first move, I have a theory that it's nearly always the women who initiates the relationship - i.e. it is her pulling the strings really. Maybe with that one look she gave you three weeks ago, or something like that. Something very clever. BINGO! You're correct........... Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 I did not say anything the whole trip until we was 15 min from landing..We had a great conversation but I was so nervous to ask her for her number.If I could of did it all over again I would of asked hahaha 15 minutes from landing on the runway--yeah, me too--that's when I usually start talking with my seatmates. It breaks the tension of the descent and the unknown. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 yeah, just look over and say, "if you need something to hold onto, i'm here." Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now