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Somewhat of a Realization.....

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...I was speaking to friend the other day who is a psychologist, and they said an interesting thing. I recently found out that my ex is still single and that has given me some hope although i plan to move on.


One thing i was tlaking to my friend about was how now all i think about is her out and all these gusy that wil be all over her and all the guys she might be interested....he frankly told me to stop worrying...


He said that he sees this a lot in therapy. Someone that is dumped starts thinking EVERYONE is attarcted to their ex and their ex is conversley attracted to EVER guy/girl they see. this is crazy, and thinking and worrying is crazy. My ex is not a partier, and rarely goes out, yet i imagine her out drinking and meeting guys everyweekend. The last time we broke up was a year ago and i envisioned this too only to have amutual friend say she turned into a hermit when we broke up. I guess my point is to worry about yourself and not these things. Unless the ex left you for another person, they are proabably at home as lonely and missing you as you are missing them.....Just thought that might cheer some folks up....

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Umm. okay, this all makes some sense, but I'm not sure if it's really sound psychological advice to be happy about somebody else's suffering though.


I mean, if you really wanted to try to get back together that's one thing. But if you've let go and are getting on with your own life, isn't it better if your ex does the same?


The advice about being concerned about yourself more than your ex os sound though. Past that, wishing happiness on them I think would be a next good step, if you can take it.

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I used to get a sense of satisfaction thinking about an ex spending nights alone with nothing to do.


It's only when I'd realise that even if they *were* lonely, miserable and missing me...they still preferred being that way than being with me.


Sometimes it's not always the confidence boost that it appears to be

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There is a term that your psychogist is talking about. Its called ONEITIS. I learn this term in a very good book I read "No more Mr Nice Guy" I strongly you guys to pick it up. It will be eye opening.


I am getting over a case of it right now. Its the thought that your mate is the object of every man desires. Its even intensified when they break up with you. You get this picture that every man in the universe is trying to get with you woman. You also think that there isn't another woman that you be attracted to every again. She is your pedestal girl.


The book preaches about having an abundance mentality. If we start to focus on ourself, and our needs. In other words becoming the prize, then you will realize there are many other attractive, good women that would love to be with you. Focus on getting yourself right, and your oneitis will diminish.


Its still a process with me, but in my case I am happy she is off the pedestal.

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