How do you decide?

[Celadon]

How do you decide what to spend your time pursuing? Sometimes I feel as though I have 25 different interests and I'm trying to follow them all. As a result I veer wildly from one thing to another, often barely scratching the surface.

 

Almost like I can't help myself from jumping from thing to thing ... exploring new music, trying to read books and magazines, improving in X, Y or Z. I sometimes feel I want to CONSUME all these things.

 

I'm always trying to expand my knowledge and live an interesting life. But I'm having a problem rooting myself for any length of time, which sort of defeats the whole purpose.

 

Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this?

 

(BTW, I'm not ADHD that I know of. In fact, I'm so dedicated to my work that when I get off of work after a long hard day, I almost don't know what to do first.)

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts, comments, advice ...

[Fisch]

Oh wow,

I have the same exact issue. Notice I dont call it a problem. There are pros and cons, but I am sure you know that. What I do is pick and choose when to discipline myself. Granted there are lots of hobbies we want to be really good at, so just rate them, put them in order. Will that order change for people like us? Probably, but I guess we just have to make the best of it. I know that I am easily inspired and see value in a lot of things and a lot of people. Does that about cover it? I can understand that it can be really frustrating sometimes. Like I just want to be the BEST at something, I want something to dedicate and have complete and uniqe passion for. Sometimes I get sick of losing interest in hobbies. Recently however, i have had a breakthrough. I picked up the electric guitar, and have fallen in love practicing consistently because it is fun! What I have to say may not be that helpful, but you are certainly not alone.

[g1234567890h]

I have a lot of intersts, too. I'm writing five books right now. I like reading books. I like listening to music. I'm currently composing an album. I'm teaching preschool. I'm in school full time to get a PhD. I'm an artist, too.

 

You can do everything. I just sleep 6 hours a night.

[JoeWho]

So many things to do but so little time to do them.

[Celadon]

Like I just want to be the BEST at something, I want something to dedicate and have complete and uniqe passion for. Sometimes I get sick of losing interest in hobbies.

EXACTLY!! I just want to have a passion for what I do and be really good at it, but both things take time, and I'm usually onto the next thing by that time.

 

Great that you've gotten more into your music, though!

[Fisch]

Thanks. I have gotten a bit more focused lately. I feel like we probably have passion for everything and that is the problem. So what do we do?

[Celadon]

Thanks. I have gotten a bit more focused lately. I feel like we probably have passion for everything and that is the problem. So what do we do?

Yes, and there is the natural conundrum of ... if I do "X," then I am by default NOT doing "Y." (But I want to do both!)

 

Maybe the best thing is to spend time on what's important and what is a clear talent. For example, exercise is important, so I should definitely do that. Can't stay healthy any other way! As for talent, I could spend time on singing, which I enjoy, but since I don't have a good voice, I won't ever be as good at it as I might be in, say, playing the keyboard.

 

Not to say I couldn't dabble in singing every now and then, but if I'm being goal-oriented, then probably I should choose my goals wisely ... rather than go after everything all the time. What do you think?

[Fisch]

I think that it is a valuable thing to have what we have. I suppose we are like a jack (and jill) of all trades. We see the good in many things, and spread our talents. But I think about today's society, and the lawyer/doctor/inventor hybrids of the past can no longer exist. People really know how to focus these days! So maybe our personality type was more valuable because there was less to know in the past. To be honesty, I find it is a common theme of my personality. I don't know about you but, I dont always fit one description, but find myself with a great level of phsycoligical stability and yet a great degree of variablity on more shallow levels. I am rambling, but I dont get to talk about myself very often so

Anyway I think you are right. We may never win a gold medal at the olympics, but if we stay goal oriented we can have a balance of happiness in our lives. I know that I literally write out a set of goals (perhaps a new set arises too often, but still). Overall you just have to find out what you know will always have value for you. For me it is cyclic, I will go through cycles of interest often returning to forgotten things again later the next year or something. But the things that I want to keep constant are things that I think I will value in many areas of my life. So I just sit down and figure it out, and even though your immediate desire to go and find something new wont be as well satiated, the fact that you stuck with something and are somewhat of an expert is rather awesome as well right? I have been known when i was younger to say that my dream job was to literally have a new job every day, so I could experience everything. Let me know

[Celadon]

That's a really good point, Fisch. I have had a problem with constancy, esepcially if I'm stressed out, because then i go for the easiest thing to do (watch TV, surf the Internet). Maybe instead I should just calm down first, then I can make a decision on what to do (something of more value).

 

I just read an article on ENA that said there is PLENTY of time to do what you need to do. I'm not sure if I agree with that or not, but her point is that if it IS important enough to you, then you will rearrange your schedule to fit it in. I still think I need to accept the fact that I won't be able to do everything. I have a hard time with that one, because I like to go in depth in everything. If I could spend the next 10 years just doing one thing, I'd be happy. Then I'd move onto the next thing.

 

I heard about a guy once who chose a "topic of the year." He would choose something to learn about and then just do that in his free time all year. The next year, he'd choose a different topic. I don't know, it sounds good, but it makes me nervous to only do one thing because -- honestly -- part of my brain will be asking, "HEY, aren't you missing out on X, Y or Z?"