Come on or not?

[ginger111080]

Ok here it goes!

 

My husband has been emailing his old highschool friend for a few months now over myspace, I saw one of his emails asking her if she had ever had her salad tossed?......I asked him about it, he shouted at me and told me to leave him alone!...she is just newly married & they like email every friggin day......I just recently got a lap dog, she complains at him allowing me a lap dog when she thinks he should have got me a manly dog!....awh man, I dunno where to go from here, his myspace is such a big secret & it's ruining our sex life and everything.....In my eyes he shouldn't be speaking to her like this or asking such questions!....none of my male friend would ever ask me this!

 

Please help me understand how I should deal with this, he tell me she wants him etc,etc, I feel he's giving her the come on & flirting with her.

[melrich]

ever had her salad tossed?.

 

No idea what that means but if I were you I'd be giving him some ultimatums. That is a slippery slope indeed.

[ginger111080]

Having your salad tossed means "have you ever had your butt hole licked!"

[shikashika]

salad tossing is licking the bumhole

[melrich]

How descriptive! What a delightful term!!

 

So that doubles my advice. Read him the riot act, give him a bit of time to make good and if he dooesn't or won't, leave him.

[shikashika]

ok my dear... if your husband is asking any woman but you if she likes having her salad tossed, t here is a SERIOUS problem.. She sounds like a manipulative capital B.. but honestly I don't think your husband is acting any better! to keep up this contact!!

 

What have you said to your husband about all this??

[kr356]

i'm sorry to say but the fact that he snapped at you when you asked him about it seems to be a defensive thing in people, sounds liek he is trying to hid something..

[ginger111080]

Well I started off by asking him "if any dude asks me something sexual over email. would you class this as a come on?" he said "yes" I said "so you asking Megan if she likes her salad tossed then is a come on"....he punked out saying, I messed up leaving my myspace open, you read our emails. I said " erm well yeah....you are my husband no secrets right!".....he went to his bed demanded I leave him alone & not touch or speak to him. I've had this up to my ears, we spent a lovely evening together, he baked me a cake & cooked me dinner, to then see this, I'm devistated!

[shikashika]

yeah he sounds like he is being very defensive and taking out his guilt ( whatever that may be.. come on.. EVERYONE knows, including him what he did is completely unacceptable!) on you by acting this way.

[ginger111080]

Yeah I totally agree, I mean, I've had to give him a talking too before for talking to his ex like this, you would think he would learn you know!......Man, I feel like emailing this chick and telling her to piss off too!

[melrich]

Why are you still with this guy?

[ginger111080]

Good question!...I met him while I was still in Scotland and he asked me to move over to the USA with him!...I'm such an idiot

[melrich]

Well this seems to be a recurring theme with him. I don't know, I don't know how invested you are in this marriage but from the outside looking in maybe it's time to cut and run. He sounds like a serial offender and my guess is he's not going to stop, he's just going to hide it better.

[Hope75]

Yeah... something is definitely not right about him acting like a jerk when his behaviour is so questionable.

 

Being married means you don't ask other women if they like their bums licked. If he keeps this up I'd leave him.

[ginger111080]

Yeah I guess so!....I've been suspicious about him emailing this girl ever since he told me she wanted him....even tho she's married!...I told him & asked him if he was disrespecting me in anyway, he said no, but reading this had made me realise that he is, there is no excuse for talking to her this way!...I would never ask a dude if he likes deep throat!...but you know what, it makes me all the more adiment to be a bad girl back to him!....i think because I'm a good girl stripper, he feels the need to get raunchy with these girls when I'm out workin at nights!

[ginger111080]

I'd like to know a man's point of view on this too....where are they all!

[melrich]

Well I gave you mine. Get out of it. He's no good for you.

[ginger111080]

Your right, I just hate the thought of having to pack & go back home.....to a life I've been trying to get away from for so long!....but hey, somethings you just got to do I guess.

[melrich]

Stay in the US. Or come to Australia. You shouldn't place limits around your options.

[insofar]

Asking someone over the internet if they've ever "had their salad tossed" is creepy as hell, for one thing. To try to defend it is something else. Tell him to stop, and if he doesn't... I don't think he's worth staying with.

[insofar]

It's an unfortunate fact that people can change and that you can be mistaken about who a person really is... often only realizing that you're mistaken after several months. We're not all bad. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[ginger111080]

I'm sick of being treated like crap....I never do anything to offend or disrespect my partners, but still they go out their way to offend me. Time to bail out I reckon, time for plan B, take my money and run again!......think I'm gonna stay single from now on!....

[sidehop]

If he has the nerve to ask another woman that question and you said your sex life with him isn't great, he definitely has an issue with fantasy and wanting something he can't have.