Am I the rebound?

[freeindeed]

I'm just wondering what you all think of this. I didn't think I was the rebound, but some people have speculated that I might be.

 

I'm dating a guy who is about 4 years younger than me (not a problem, because I look and act younger than my age). His girlfriend broke up with him last October over the phone. From the story he tells, I think she broke up with him to set off a reaction. As in, "let me break up with you so that you can see how life is without me and come back and ask me to marry you." She really wanted him to marry her. Well, he wasn't ready to get married just yet (he's only 23), but he wanted to continue the relationship. She said basically it's all or nothing and broke it off.

 

Now, he went through the random hook ups (he admitted it to me), the drunken nights, the partying, and got it all out of his system. The ex has since tried to show up wherever he is, tried to hook up with his best friends, and is basically hanging out with all of his friends...which sucks and I feel bad for him because now he doesn't even want to hang out with his close guy friends because she might be there.

 

He's very blunt, sometimes too blunt, and has told her basically to F off....and she has backed off a bit.

 

Now here's the question: I really think he's over it...I think he rebounded with the girls he hooked up with after his ex broke up with him. He only talks about his ex when I bring it up so it's not like he's talking about her all the time. Yet, some people have come up to me and said that they're worried that there hasn't been enough time passed since his break-up and that I'm probably his rebound.

 

I was wondering what you guys think. Am I the rebound? Should I be super careful?

[sidehop]

I would be cautious but also it does sound like he's getting over her. I mean wow...what is it with people that want to get married so fast as if it's going to change everything??

 

Anyway...if you two are having a good relationship why worry? Don't let others' opinion influence your decision. It's none of their business to begin with. Just be aware but don't base it on what your friend are telling you.

[freeindeed]

How long have you been dating him?

 

We've been casually dating for a few weeks, and I know it's not serious yet. But he's told people that he wants to "invest" in me, that he doesn't seem me as a "hook-up"...which is why I'm actually starting to care whether or not if I'm a rebound. Why do you ask?

[freeindeed]

I would be cautious but also it does sound like he's getting over her. I mean wow...what is it with people that want to get married so fast as if it's going to change everything??

 

Anyway...if you two are having a good relationship why worry? Don't let others' opinion influence your decision. It's none of their business to begin with. Just be aware but don't base it on what your friend are telling you.

 

Well, they did date for about 2 years, so in a way I don't blame her for asking where they stand regarding the future. It's funny though because he said that he wanted to try to make it work, but later on realized that he probably never wanted to marry her. If he did, he would've told her that while he sees them getting married eventually, he just isn't in the situation to do so currently (that's a little tidbit for those of you who are on here asking about whether you should stay with your SO if you want marriage and they don't).

 

Anyways, sorry I digressed, thank you for the advice, I've just been burned in the past because I didn't listen to the people around me...so I've been taking other's opinions a little more openly than I used to.

[freeindeed]

I was trying to do the math with how long he's been broken up & how long he's been with you. If it was like soon after, then I would have said yes, youre the rebound.

 

Doesnt seem to be that way, though. I think hes over her...maybe not completely, its only been 4 months....I would take it slow, just to be sure.

 

Thanks! We are taking it pretty slow...and it's so sweet, he even says he wants to take it REALLY slow because he wants to make it special. So, despite my raging desire (heheh) we having even kissed yet.