please read.... need help

[softball_chick]

(i posted this and it got messed up so if it shows up twice, sorry!)

 

How much older is to much??? I'm 13 and have liekd a guy that was 5 years older, and currently I kinda like one whos 4 years... I kno nothing will ever come out of these crushes, so i think there harmless.... but is it wrong for me to like them?!

[reborn]

Hi softball chick, and welcome to enotalone. I love your ename-its really cute! Anyway, no it is not wrong or weird to like older guys when you are in your teens. when I was your age I always used to like guys that were 3 years older. They hang out with a different age group though, so maybe they won´t end up noticing you in the same way you do to them. But no worries sweety, you sound like a very mature 13 year old that knows that crushes are crushes. They could be really fun and make you all nervous and dreamy and stuff. Enjoy the positive part of crushes. Exercise your imagination--write poems, etc.

About the age thing again: you have heard that guys are less mature than girls right? Well, they are supposedly 3 years less mature than us!!!!! So a boy your age may have the mentality of a ten year old! Go figure!

Enjoy your 13 sweety. Have your crushes. Lots of things happen in a year you know. Maybe this year in school you could meet a really cute 14 year old or 15 year old guy who is to great! Possibilites are endless!

Try however not to through your self at the older guys you may have a crush on, as you being 13 they may take advantage of you. Again, you sound like a very mature 13 year old, I am sure you can take care of you and don´t consider your self naive, however sweety 5 years IS 5 years. And an 18 year old, although mentally may behave like a 15 year old sometimes does have a lot more experience than a 13 year old may be prepared to handle. So just be cautios ok sweety and don´t give into peer preassure. You are cool and great and beautiful just like you are!

Good luck!

-Reborn

[softball_chick]

Thanks for replying..... and the guy i like doesnt even kno who i am lol... its not gonna go anywhere. And I wouldnt go out with someone that much older than me, its just not right... I kno then whats the point of liking them? I dunno lol, u cant always help who u like. But no I would never go out with someone 18 till i was at least 15... then I'd still be careful. But I never "through" myself at them (i get what u mean tho) because Well its just wrong! LOL thanks again for repying!

[Smokeycat]

I agree that guys are much less mature than us girls...so the age difference is really not there mentally. But PHYSICALLY...you need to watch out. Those boys have many hormones and if you're not willing to do things...you shouldn't be b/c you're 13 please don't give in...they're more mature in a physical sense. Be very careful. Make sure if you don't want to do anything sexual with them they know it...BE CLEAR...SAY NO...if you say anything other than a firm NO they hear "yes"!

[JadeMonkey]

As a guy I would say yeah be careful with older guys. (especially one dumb enough to look for a girl who isn't 18 when they are over 18)

 

But I would say that you don't want to make gross generalizations about 'all' guys letting their hormones control them. That is just an unfair statement, much like the one about women drivers

 

Some guys are horny sleeze balls (wait til later in high school and college, you can almost smell the testosterone), some guys are actually looking for a long term relationship though.

 

And please from a really shy guy, don't always wait for the guy to come to you, its so much pressure to always be expected to ask the girl out (always putting yourself out there for the chance of heartbreak). Just thought I'd add that.