to serious, bad sign?

[dreamingwithabrokenheart]

So I've been talking to this girl via-email that I met on a dating website. She sounds like a great person but in her emails she sounds way too serious - says that she wants kids, wants to get married, soulmate, etc. There is nothing wrong with this, as I want the same things in life but it seems like this girl wants it immediately, you know?

 

Is this a bad sign? Or are some people just really straightforward?

 

Thanks

[darkpumpkin]

From my experiance from internet dating there are two types of people. One who is just stating that they aren't looking for fun and if you want to go out an meet and if you start dating it's with the intention of long term and then there are those that actually want to be your SO after one date and want to marry you in a month and ask you to move in with them. I would actually meet her and she how she acts.

[lifestream]

I find that to be a bit of a turn off, personally. I come off as a bit serious sometimes, but there's got to be some humor.

 

Try joking around, telling funny stories, see how she responds

And I think many women long for that sense of security. It's not uncommon, I don't think.

[Jetta]

Well I'm the too serious type myself and I don't really know how to convey my feelings without being straightforward. Like I'm not looking for marriage right now, but I'm the marrying kind so that'd be why I'm single. So if marriage is what she's looking for and your not than you probably just cut ties, otherwise you're just wasting time.

[Day_Walker]

When you just have an email things can lost in the translation. Why dont you get her number and give her a call. That way you have a more direct method of conversing with her and getting a feel for the kind of person she is.

[Batya33]

When I did on line dating my profile indicating I was looking for "marriage and children" and in my profile I said that if that was not what you were looking for, that's fine but to please go to the next profile. Typically I would not bring up marriage/kids on the first conversation, but if the man did that was fine and I would bring it up if it was clear from something he said that he was not looking for marriage or kids. Despite my directness in my profile my goal in the first conversation and the first date was simply to see if we "clicked" and it's hard to know that if either of you do the full court press of "I want love, marriage and a baby carriage and I want it now."

[sidehop]

You still have to meet & get to know the person.

 

But if you two don't know each other too well & she starts talking about something more serious then it's a red flag. Do you know her background? When was the last time she was with someone serious?

[shes2smart]

Is this a bad sign? Or are

some people just really straightforward?

 

Thanks

 

Can't speak for her, but the last time I was single, I knew that I wanted to get married (I was 37 and ready for that kind of relationship) and refused to waste my time "just dating" or getting involved with a guy who knew he didn't want to get married.

 

Stating I wanted to get married did not mean I wanted to marry the guy I was saying it to...rather it was intended to be an indication of what my relationship goal was. If it wasn't his goal, that was cool...but there was no point in continuing the interaction since we weren't after the same thing. It would be a waste of time for both of us to go past an initial conversation.

 

Now, if a guy indicated that he had getting married as a goal for himself, then it was worth a date or two to see if we had other things in common and if we were attracted to/had chemistry with each other.

 

In other words, if I had said, "I want to go to Arizona" would you interpret that to mean "I want to go to Arizona with you" or just that I was expressing a desire to travel? Until proven differently, you may want to operate under the assumption that she's just stating the destination where she'd like to end up....doesn't necessarily mean she's lookin' to end up there with you.

 

Look at it this way...if you've taken the time to figure out what you're looking for at this point in your life, she may have saved you a lot of time, effort and heartache by being upfront about what she's looking for. 'Cause if you know what you're looking for doesn't fit with what she's looking for, you can be on your way fairly quickly before either of you gets very involved.

[dreamingwithabrokenheart]

Thanks for the replies. We just started talking have had two conversations via email. I haven't asked her yet about her past relationships, I guess i'll do that in my next email... I guess I should meet with her in person too