Jump to content

Need feedback on girl I met at coffee place


Orlander
 Share

Recommended Posts

So, i've had my eye on this girl who has been coming in lately to the Starbucks I go to each morning. I decided last week to take a chance and smile at her. She smiled back and we had a brief conversation.

 

A couple of days ago, I saw her again at Starbucks. She was on her way out as I was on my way in. She said "You're late!" and smiled. As I passed by, I said something like "Oh, so you get here at 8:30, huh? I'll have to remember that." and I smiled back at her. But, I kept walking inside.

 

Then today, I decided to sit after I got my daily drink at the Starbucks and do a little bit of light reading. She came in again. When she got her drink I went over, said hi and told her Happy Valentine's Day. I introduced myself and shook her hand. I asked her if she had any big plans for tonight. She said she was traveling out of town for business and to visit family. She didn't mention a boyfriend and obviously had no ring on her hand. We talked briefly about what she did for a living. She asked me how far my work was from Starbucks. I said something else funny, she laughed.

 

We were walking to our cars through pretty much the entire conversation. By the time we got to our cars we said our Happy Valentines Day again and see ya later.

 

What do you guys think about this encounter? To be honest, I had hoped to have more time or a little more confidence in myself to ask her for her phone number or out for a date. It just seemed the conversation was too quick and I dont know if it was because I was heading out to my car while we were talking or it was because she was or both.

 

Impressions? What to do next? I'm just starting to put myself out there again and try to meet women i am interested in. I think i used to be so good at it.

 

 

Orlander

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 76
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

It sounds like you did just fine to me.

 

You have established consistency with her, and made an inroad.

You know a detail of her life, that she is going to visit family this weekend.

Next time you see her, you conversational in is to beat her there and ask her how her visit went.

 

You don't know if she orders the same thing every time? It would be sweet to order it before she got there and give it to her as she walks in, and say "Now, that saved you 5 whole minutes ... I want to hear about how your visit went" or something.

 

And maybe next time, ask for the number, too....

 

Be brave! lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like there is definite interest from her end. You can usually tell when someone feels the chemistry, i think you feel it and just need that little bit of reassurance. GOOD JOB!

 

I agree with LS, grab her number next time and i'm sure it will be a positive outcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would say that the situation was positive. Since you only have quick encounters with her just keep being friendly ask for her number then set up something casual. If you happen to see her again while getting Starbucks then be friendly and perhaps you will have a longer encounter where you can chat with her longer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Next time you talk with her, ask her out. Do not delay or you will seem wishy washy or as if you are chicken and she will, eventually, lose interest.

 

Have your short conversation, at the end smile and tell her you enjoy talking with her, or something like that. See how she reacts to that comment. If well, suggest that maybe the two of you should do it more often, or something like it. If she reacts well, ask her out or at least for her number. It would be better if you just ask her out and have a plan in mind. My plan would include allowing her to meet you someplace, it might let her feel safer. Be ready to give her your number or email.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone!! I'm really attracted to this woman. She has an amazing smile.

 

I'm trying to think of approaching women as practice and not focus on trying to meet the woman of my dreams. I will ask her out the next time I see her. I am unsure when that will be though.

 

I firmly believe that others see you as you see yourself and I am working on maintaining confidence. I was a little nervous today. I know that if I werent nervous I would have been more "on" and been more charming and would have definitely tried for the digits. Practice makes perfect I guess.

 

Thanks again and if anyone else has any suggestions, please feel free to post.

 

 

Orlander

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Orlander~

 

That is such a cute Vday story. I love it! It totally made my day! Now this is just my opinon, but I think she probably thinks you are cute. I agree with the majority you should ask her out. However, I think you should give her your number instead of asking her for hers. I say this for 2 reasons. 1. It takes an edge off of your part for having to ask for her number and 2. You are a virtual stranger she has met in a coffee shop, and I know me, as a woman in todays world, I might not be quick to give my number out. I know that is sexist, take a mans number but be hesitant with your own digits, but hey, a girl cant be too careful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So.... did we see her this morning for coffee??

 

Spill it Orlander, this sounds promising - routing for you buddy!

 

I'm going through the same thing as you right now (with less dates) just getting comfortable again being single and talking to new women. All good practise.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sounds like you did good man. let me put my $.02 in on her actions and what you did.

first of all, she noticed "you're late". she had that in her head when she saw you last. ding, very good.

second, when she said she was taking a trip and she never mentioned a bf or husband or sig other, etc. that means the door is open. if she does have a bf, she obviously forgot about him talking to you right?

i don't think just busting out and asking for her number off the bat is a good idea. i think you should play it sly and coy first. if you do see her again it is your opportunity to score the digits though. you need to try and get her to sit down for a bit and have a little chat. if she can't walk her out to the car again. when you go out there, play kind of stupid sly and say "you know i was wondering if you would like to get a drink this weekend." boom, right there you will find out if she has a bf. you will also find out for sure if she is interested. this question, if she says yes of course which i think for sure she will, will be the point to get the number. i get numbers all of the time. let us know if you see her again next week i assume when she is back.

 

.......................................................................................................................................................................................

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Do you like apples?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cause I got her number. How do you like them apples?!?!

 

Sorry, couldn't resist. I know this thread is a few days old but I finally saw the mystery coffee house girl again this morning. We made small talk. I took the initiative on most of the conversation to ask her about her. I walked out with her and as we got to our cars I asked her if she wanted to get together sometime. I then asked her for her number and/or email. She seemed hesitat but I provided her with a card and a pen quickly from my car, made light conversation while she wrote her data down, took the card and told her I hope she has a good day at work. There was no real conversation afterwards. We both were on our way into work. She seemed intent on leaving, but was polite and smiled a lot.

 

There was nothing less than complete confidence on my part. I made sure to be as polite as possible and smiled often. But there was no fear or shyness at all.

 

Now, I just have to figure out how long to wait until I decide to call her. LOL. I'm so out of practice with this whole thing. Anyone got any suggestions??

 

 

Orlander

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now, I just have to figure out how long to wait until I decide to call her. LOL. I'm so out of practice with this whole thing. Anyone got any suggestions??

 

 

I would give her a call tomorrow. You gotta strike while the iron is hot.

 

I wouldn't make plans with her over the weekend though. When I was single I always made first dates during the week when I could, because if the date is a bust you haven't wasted a weekend day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would give her a call tomorrow. You gotta strike while the iron is hot.

 

I wouldn't make plans with her over the weekend though. When I was single I always made first dates during the week when I could, because if the date is a bust you haven't wasted a weekend day.

 

Plus you want to give the impression that you're a busy, popular dude (not saying you're not Orlando) and that weekends are too precious to spend on first dates.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she seemed hesitant, she might be daging someone else (maybe casually), and calling would be a bit too much in that situation. If you are not sure I would text her instead of calling.

 

Good luck!

 

I disagree about the texting - to me that says the person is too shy to talk. Orlando (rightly so) is being confident, he should keep that up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I disagree about the texting - to me that says the person is too shy to talk. Orlando (rightly so) is being confident, he should keep that up.

 

Agreed. But also agree about the week night date. Second dates can be on a weekend. Thirds should be. Week night dates also make for shorter dates, and that's a good thing for a first date.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i think you should call her on friday. later afternoon. don't ask her out, but ask if she is busy on sunday. most people aren't. ask her out to starbuck's for a chat. don't go for a full blown date. i bet she was hesitant because you caught her off guard. that is awesome. you did good. welcome back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Polarity Secrets to Attracting Love that Makes you Magnetic AF
      In this video, I'm going to show you the 5 most powerful ways to create polarity in order to attract love. Think of it like a magnet. If you have a magnet, it is going to attract, but also repel based on its polarity. If you have a positive and a positive and you put them together, guess what's gonna happen? They're going to repel each other. Same with a negative and negative. But when you have a positive and a negative, they clink right like this. The key to attracting love is embodying your own sense of polarity, which really is the authenticity of who you really are, letting go of what you are not so that you can attract love easier than ever. These are things that completely transformed my own life.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 10 Signs You Are Fake Happy
      Are you happy, or are you putting on a fake smile? Fake happiness can be hard to detect, but if you know the signs you can spot it.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Do You Gaslight Yourself?
      Do You Gaslight Yourself?
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...