Would it be okay with you if?

[LONESOUL]

Just a general question. This happened this morning to a couple I am very

good friends with. They have been together 7 years. Good relationship, most of the time, the few issues have been because he thinks he is a player.

He brought her flowers yesterday, red roses, nothing special. She has a co worker who is a very sexy woman. She is always saying to my friend ohhh

why can I find a guy like____ and ____ is so fantatic and she flirts with him big time. So yesterday, he asks his GF can he buy this woman flowers for V day cuase she has no man. My friend, says oh he is just being friendly.

Okay, he is NOT friendly with anyone other woman buying her flowers and such...

Now I am glad she is okay with this, but it has me questioning myself,

it would not be okay with me if my SO did that.

But why, I am not a jealous person either..

I mean it's not like this is some little old lady this is a fine young hot woman, andhe seems way to eager to be her night in shining armor to me...maybe thats why??

Who knows, anyway, how would you feel? Feedback, it would be okay, or not okay?

[xmrth]

Oh, no way. She probably knows if she said anything to him about it that he'd get upset or leave her or something. That's ridiculous-- I'm sure she'd survive without flowers from a TAKEN man. The whole thing is crazy. It's not like she's some little old lady... she's apparently a very sexy young woman, and she already thinks her boyfriend is a player. This is what they do. She just knows about it and has been taught or has learned to put up with it, it's terrible.

You could try talking to her about it but I would imagine it's something she realizes... unfortunately he'd probably do something eventually that would lead them to break up anyways. I mean it's just bound to happen given what she already suspects without this.

There's definitely ways for this to be okay, you could think of so many other reasons, but given the type of person and just the whole situation, this is not okay, I don't think so.

[AzureSkyes69]

I am taking a stabb at this (hope you don't mind. guess it has allot to do with the comfort level of the couple...I however would not be comfortable if my SO bought some other lady flowers and I would not be comfortable with the other lady flirting with my partner either.To me it would be more of a boundary issue than being a issue of jealousy out of bounds I would consider would be my partner buying some hot pretty young thing flowers.( they should not be going there in the first place no matter how bad they feel about the woman being single).I am not really a jealous person either but to me the other woman should know your partner is with you and have enough respect for your relationship as not to flirt with your SO.So this would not be okay with me.

Just my opinion.

[BellaDonna]

I would not be comfortable with my partner giving another woman flowers on v-day unless it was his mother, daughter, or other relative.

 

Even if the guy in question has no ill intentions, it seems lame that he's trying to play "hero" on Valentine's Day. It seems inappropriate to me.

 

If the couple was good friends with her and she was down because she was single- I suppose it would not be so bad if they bought her some kind of friendship bouquet with a note from both of them- but for him to get her flowers on his own seems a bit odd. Again, I think he's looking for the wrong kind of attention, sending the wrong message, and playing "hero".

 

BellaDonna

[LONESOUL]

Thanks all, thats totally what I thought. Belladonna, yes, if they were very close then a little friendship bouquet from them both, how sweet..

otherwise, totally inapproprate~I think.

Made me feel bad for my friend, I feel like something is coming her way she doesn't want to see, I hope I am wrong, but if I'm not I guess I can do is be there for her.

[AzureSkyes69]

Yes I hope your wrong as well Lone..

hopefully he just did it out of the kindness of his heart and nothing more(still I think it was totally inapproprate because he is in a relationship in the first place,and I don't think he was thinking of her feelings when doing it or how she would feel about it)If it was reversed I am sure he would not like her giving something to another guy that's for sure.

[Day_Walker]

Considering his past it would probably not be a good idea.

[Jayar]

Definitely not okay. But she did right for not telling him so, IMO. The thing for HER to do now is to watch and observe (objectively) if the behaviour escalates.

 

If your friend plays her cards right, this guy will let his guard down and (if he is inclined to be a player) he'll be easier to catch in a cheating situation.

[Brooke657]

Definatly not. Even if he honestly thought he was just being friendly you don't do that. If my boyfriend bought another girl roses on Valentines day I'd be mad.

[doyathink]

I agree with the others on this....but I wonder, why did he ask her if he could do it first? He could have done it behind her back and never said a word to her.

[LONESOUL]

They ride to work together, he couldn't have gotten them in

DYT. (well, lets face it, I guess he could have if he had really wanted to,

where there is a will there is a way but..it would have been very very difficult)

[doyathink]

I would think if he had ill intentions he would go out of his way to hide it. Like have the flowers delivered to her or something.

Maybe he takes her for a fool!

[LONESOUL]

I don't know, like I said, she acted like it really didn't bother her...

and I guess thats good, in a way. it's good not be jealous you know? But.. it's

another thing to close your eyes.

I think he told her because he felt he had to and he could play it off like

"the hero"

I think he has some fantasy of being able to say "well we didn't mean for it to happen, he was just so sweet...in his head)

Kinda backfired if he had bad intentions though, some guys shes been seeing just sent her roses too...and she really likes this guy

[FallenAngel00]

Pehaps he just appreciates the fact that this other woman appreciates his relationship with his own woman so much Who says the single woman shouldnt get flowers on vday... at least he asked his girlfriend.