Jump to content

Today is going to be hard...

Recommended Posts

I had a pretty good night, considering what happened just 2 nights ago. I had an itch to go shopping (grew up being my mother tag along when she went ha). Ended up going out with a friend of mine, who is a girl, and her friend to the mall. Hoping to get ME some stuff, I should of known better. "lets go here, lets go there, they dont have anything here lets go to another mall". It was entertaining to say the least.


Somehow hanging out with other girls, hot girls at that, helps you forget for a while about your ex ripping your heart out AGAIN, putting on some cleats, and stomping on it.


Both these girls want me to go to the club with them tomorrow for Vday. I want to, but then again, it almost sounds better just getting trashed at home, alone, and wallowing in my own self pity...I know, quite pathetic.


She is supposed to land, at 6:20 am. And time couldn't go by fast enough. I want this day, to be over. Somewhere in the back of my twisted thoughts I think "Maybe she'll just show up, surprise me, and call me from the airport" HA!


Broke up Sunday night. And I just remembered, talking to her Saturday afternoon asking where she wanted to go to dinner tonight. We laughed, joked, talked about all different kids of restraunts. And then she said "We had no money last year at this time, and somehow you made it the best day of my life"...she was so happy. I don't get it.


We were broke last year on Vday. While she was at a meeting, an NA meeting at that (now im sure she's tripping off pills as I type), I cooked. I NEVER cook. I made pasta, baked a cake that tasted like * * * *, put dry rose pedals all over the living room, and dinner table. Went and picked her up from her meeting, blindfolded her, brought her into the house and told her to stay in the room til I told her to come out.


Put dinner on the table, lit the two candles, turned the lights out, put my oh so trusty "70's rnb love jams" in, and brought her out. Took the blindfold off her face, and watched the tears roll down her cheeks. We had such a great night, and hearing her tell me THEN and two nights ago, how no one had ever made her feel so special, was enough to make me feel happy...she was happy.


I don't understand how just one stinkin day before we split, she was talking about that, so sweetly. I guess I do understand, drugs can turn you off...and on.


I wonder if she'll ever wake up one day, and realize what she's doing to herself. I wonder if she'll ever realize how much I truly care about her. I wonder if she even really loves me as much as she still says she does, or just loves the way I make her feel.


I can't wait for this day to be over.

Link to comment

hanging out with other women can help a lot right now. im not saying to hook up or look for another girl to date, but just being around good women makes your realize there are others out there.


i was fortunate enough a while back to have a few very women who were good friends (never looked at them in a dating way). But just being around them helped a lot. After my really really bad breakup, they even stayed the night a few times, just so I could get a good sleep in.

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...