heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 hello, well recently my bf and i have had troubles. he wanted to take a break but we didnt afterall. still i feel like we have things to work out. all these troubles began almost a year ago in may. i cheated on my bf one time with my ex boyfriend. my current bf was obviously upset and he wanted to break up. both us had cancelled our myspace accounts when we got into the relationship to avoid problems. well anyway the same night he found out i cheated he created a myspace account and had added all these girls (even girls he had been with in his past-sexually). i was very hurt to see he did this. i know i cheated but seeing that made me more upset than sorry. (btw, i knew the page he barely made was new because it said the date it was created). anyway. i dont know what to think of this. i was so upset i called him that night to confront him on the page and ask why he had been hiding all these friendships with all these girls. they were girls from his town...not just random myspacers....and he immediately cancelled the account and wanted to work things out and needed time. but he definitley wanted to retaliate. where did all these girls come from. he never mentioned these friends....should i not have trusted him for adding all those girls....were we both guilty? Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 i have girls on my myspace that are ex gfs or girls i just hooked up with...and it doesnt mean I'm interested in any of them. On myspace, everyone is "friends." Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 i know how myspace works...i guess my concern is it just seemed like he had a waiting list of girls to add on myspace the day we broke up. he had no myspace prior to that. (well we both did 2 years ago). its one thing to have myspace and break up with someone and not delete them as ur friend. but to create a new account and go searching for ppl from your past and add them as your friend then....just made me think he had feelings for these girls, or was interested in starting things up again with them since we "just broke up" isnt that suspicious....he had a back up plan it seems Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 were all his "friends" only girls who were exes? and maybe he was just doing that to get at you, or to give himself a little ego boost. after a breakup, i often find myself talking to an ex...not because im interested, but it serves as a reminder (when i talk to them and feel nothing) that i can get over a girl Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Myspace is one of the world's most evil creations. Something smells fishy with what he did. Call me old fashioned, but it just ain't right... Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 so far when i searched if he had made a page (b/c i had a feeling he would do that...) i found he had 12 friends so far in a matter of an hour after the break up. 3 of them (that i know of) were girls he dated. NEWO IKKIN-- tell me more about what YOU think is fishy here.i wanna hear ur perspective Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Sounds like he was trying to get back at you, you think what he did was wrong when you're the one who cheated on him? He should be the one not trusting you. As far as he's probably concerned the girls meant nothing to him but it was one way he knew he could hurt you as much as you hurt him. He deleted so what's the big deal? Seems to me you want to make it okay and make yourself feel better for you cheating by being mad at him having girls on his Myspace profile and making it more than what it really is.. Get over it, if there are this many trust issues maybe you both need to move on without each other. Not a very healthy relationship. Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 hmmmm...i never said i was not guilty, Mythical Suicide, all im saying is that it could be possible we were both guilty in doing "something wrong"...i took full responsibility of what i did, my cheating...but to me when i CONFESSED my cheating, and his NEW myspace page, well it felt like the truth came out on both ends, and he used my mistake as an excuse to cover anything he may have been doing behind my back. and like i said, the reason i bring this up is becasuse we have been having troubles again since then and i just rememebered how suspicious i was about the whole thing but let it all go because i was happy to have him in my life again...just wanted some perspective thats all Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 If things like this are always arising why would you want to be in a relationship like that? It's not fun, very unhealthy and hurtful to all parties involved. Just because he added a few girls to his Myspace doesn't mean he's guilty of anything that was my whole point. Talk to him about it, thats all you can do and I said once and ill say it a million times if you can't go without worrying about if your bf/gf is cheating on you then you two don't need to be together. Move on with someone you can trust. Link to comment
jengh Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 In my opinion, I think he was just trying to get back at you. Trying to make you jealous knowing damn well you'd see he made a page. Though, on the other hand, it does seem fishy to me too. How did you know he created the page in the first page? The fact that all of his friends were girls and they were all from the same town would make me uncomfortable. Especially if I KNEW he'd had sexual relations with some in the past... It's probably nothing more than a little retaliation... Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 we are having troubles now...yes...am i suposed to break up for every argument we have?!! i dont think so....im not asking to be convinced to break up or not....i think u are misunderstanding me mythical...its the fact that he went searching for ex's that bothers me. had he added 10034830 girls with big boobs or something i wouldnt care...he went searching for real pppl, i just wanted to hear others say if they think it meant something or not. obvioulsy i dont want to break up with him...if i wanted that or not..its not easy anyway to say "move on move on" im not asking that...im just sking for opinions on MY question! not asking for large overgeneralized advice. i hope the situation is a little more clear Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 IMHO - my INSTINCT - says he's playing a dirty game. I'm probably being all assumptuous, and many may argue with me on what I say, but it sounds as though he was breaking his own fall - and making it as comfortable as possible. Should he value your relationship, I apologise for what I'm saying. I personally don't see much value if he's as quick as that to befriend again. You've both done wrong, as you've admitted; but he is taking the piddle. Link to comment
jengh Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 we are having troubles now...yes...am i suposed to break up for every argument we have?!! i dont think so....im not asking to be convinced to break up or not....i think u are misunderstanding me mythical...its the fact that he went searching for ex's that bothers me. had he added 10034830 girls with big boobs or something i wouldnt care...he went searching for real pppl, i just wanted to hear others say if they think it meant something or not. obvioulsy i dont want to break up with him...if i wanted that or not..its not easy anyway to say "move on move on" im not asking that...im just sking for opinions on MY question! not asking for large overgeneralized advice. i hope the situation is a little more clear the fact that he intentionally sought THEM in particular out would drive me crazy. Ugh Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 I personally don't see much value if he's as quick as that to befriend again. . yeah, thats kind of what i was trying to get at....so im not crazy for thinking...he tried to replace me so soon with girls from his past he knew would be there for him? Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 the fact that he intentionally sought THEM in particular out would drive me crazy. Ugh yeah, that kind of drove me crazy too...why did he pick not just one but a few of them and what does that mean, should i have questioned him too....seems late for that...he cancelled the page, but does he still have interst in them or contact with them without mysapce? Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 yeah, thats kind of what i was trying to get at....so im not crazy for thinking...he tried to replace me so soon with girls from his past he knew would be there for him? In cases like these, a leapord doesn't change his spots. I hope for your sake I'm wrong. Has there been any out-of-Myspace contact that you know of? Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Has there been any out-of-Myspace contact that you know of? no..i guess he hid things from me very well. i know i cant possibly know every girl he went on a date with. when i asked him who these girls were he admitted he had gone out with them or they were friends....he hasnt mentioned anything about them since...but right now that doesnt say much Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Question him directly on his intention of adding these girls having known you may have found it quite offensive (as anybody sane would). If he pulls the 'we were on a break' card, he couldn't have thought that much of getting back together. Considering he was linked/SEXUALLY linked with these girls cries 'personal attention'. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 we are having troubles now...yes...am i suposed to break up for every argument we have?!! i dont think so....im not asking to be convinced to break up or not....i think u are misunderstanding me mythical...its the fact that he went searching for ex's that bothers me. had he added 10034830 girls with big boobs or something i wouldnt care...he went searching for real pppl, i just wanted to hear others say if they think it meant something or not. obvioulsy i dont want to break up with him...if i wanted that or not..its not easy anyway to say "move on move on" im not asking that...im just sking for opinions on MY question! not asking for large overgeneralized advice. i hope the situation is a little more clear I'm not trying to convince you two to break up over every little argument but the vibe Im getting from you is y'all have serious trust issues. Do I think he had ill intent with creating a Myspace page? No! Why? Because otherwise I think he would have done it before you cheated on him. The reason he added girls he knew was because he knew it would bother you and make you feel the same way he felt when you cheated on him. Once again noone on here can tell you if he had ill intent or not because well he's the only one who knows that. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Better still, do you trust him enough now to put this in the past? If not, its time to open up this wound once more and hear what he has to say for himself. Wow, today I sound like a real Feminist. Link to comment
heyguys Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Wow, today I sound like a real Feminist. Haha, its ok. You're thinking is aligned with mine on this issue but I also agree with Mythical Suicide and appreciate both your advice. It is silly of me to bring up something that happened so long ago...right now I do trust him....but i do always wonder how soon he WOULD replace me if we broke up or not...that doesnt really qualify under trust... Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Its not silly of you - things like this play on ours minds for what seems like FOREVER. I just hope it works out for you either way. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Haha, its ok. You're thinking is aligned with mine on this issue but I also agree with Mythical Suicide and appreciate both your advice. It is silly of me to bring up something that happened so long ago...right now I do trust him....but i do always wonder how soon he WOULD replace me if we broke up or not...that doesnt really qualify under trust... I think that is always in the back of ones mind no matter how much trust there is ina relationship, infact my bf and I just had this conversation last night about how soon he'd have another gf and vice versa for me in his mind. I hope it does work out for you two and the reason I was so adament about what I was saying was because my bf and I Have both done this to each other, got our feelings hurt somehow and added other people we knew would make the other mad or upset. A very childish game but at the time we thought it was the right thing to do and thought it was the easiest way to get back at each other and I agree Myspace is a Mad Mad Place in Cyberspace. But the only thing that matters is you two are happy now and are both being honest with each other he deleted the myspace page so obviously he does care about you and respect your feelings otherwise he would have left it up there Ya know? Good Luck on your relationship hun! Link to comment
dazzednconfused Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Sorry for creating a myspace account after hearing about you your ex bf.. creating a myspace was my reaction to piss you off. WoW. Damm you complain about everything and anything. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 WoW. Damm you complain about everything and anything. Yeah, Uhm, Wow! If you are this girls bf no wonder she cheated on you. If my bf talked to me and about me like that he'd be long gone and i'd have me a new one. Link to comment
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