in_love Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Ok in my past experience I left a girl I was with (she was like I became now - now I would be a little more sympathetic and probably would have tried to work things out, well thast a different story), she continued for MONTHS to try and get me back... the more she tried the more determined I was not to go back until finally one day she stopped.... I think 6 months I was gone and I went back. Nothing had changed in my head - I loved her but just didnt know what the hell I wanted - we were at different stages - ended up breaking up anyway for good. This current girl I was with, the opposite happened. I was too loving and became VERY insecure coming to the end. I think I tried so hard not to let what happened in "that" previous one I was in, I actually went too far and ended up creating an unhealthy relationship. We were together for 2 years, we fought roughly 5 times, we seemed to pretty much get along the entire time and genuinely trusted each other, I treated her very well and got along with all her friends and family, I really thought this would be the one I'd be with for life, however coming to the end I see now that she did infact begin to lose respect for me and her passion for me was dying, I believe now my passion for her was also dying... I was just too "messed" up, I think possibly my insecurities could have led me into a depression and not many people want to be with someone who is not happy with themselves.... I know what I am insecure about but its so damn hard fixing this. We are broken up for 4 months and I have been trying so hard to win back her love, sometimes we chat and it seems like we are getting somewhere then I dive in head first and pop the "wanna" hook up line and she gets cold and says some things, an hour or 2 later we end up chatting again and the cycle continues. I believe she still does care for me and love me but simply isnt attracted to me. She has said to me recently "stop calling, emailing, texting and I'll call you.... *my name* straighten out your head first". I'll admit I have called her pretty much every week (once or twice) she has also called me but last 2 weeks I have litterally lost the plot. 4 months and I still cannot seem to move on, I still cannot let go of her, I am bordering obsessive but I believe its not an obsession (I spoke with a councellor - My Mother) when I asked "Why is it so difficult for me to move on when I could move on from my previous pretty quickly", she bsaically said, not in these words, it was because I didnt love my ex ex like I loved this girl now. When we broke up I was sleeping around, drinking and pretty much losing my mind... now though I actually really miss her, NOT "the being with her" but I actually deeply miss her. I wake daily with a smile and a few minutes later when reality kicks in I spend the day with a deep pain in my heart. I wouldnt say I am depressed now but I am definitely not happy with the way things are, I am happy with what I am doing and content but unhappy because I love a woman who doesnt want to be with me (at the moment). We were good, I know if would have simply went full NC and healed myself and focused on my insecurities we'd more than likely be having a drink this weekend together. She is still single and tells me that, she also tells me that she simply doesnt know what she wants at the moment, she just needs some time alone. I know she still has feelings for me but I dont think the attraction is there, I've been such a plonker since the break-up... chasing her, ya know, for 4 months..... ....guys is it too late to regain what we had in terms of friendship and respect, I know without these two ingredients passion could never be. She tried dating once and so did I, we spoke about it and funnily enough we both agreed that it felt weird. She admited that she had slept with someone and so did I. There were no hard feelings etc. But after that particular conversation it felt like she wants me back, not the guy she dumped. It's weird as I experienced the other end of the stick and cant help but think we will get back together again, I mean after all, there wasnt anything bad between us. I think now I must try NEVER to contact her... I feel like an idiot chasing her and a complete plonker for not heeding the advice given here. I suppose why I am posting this is to update those who know my story and maybe get some motivational advice. Quote Link to comment
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