purple_monster Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 (I apologize for how long this turned out.) My boyfriend of 2+ years is having a very difficult time at work, and I can't figure out how to help him. I'm having a really hard time trying to be positive about the whole thing. We had been dating for a year+ when he moved accross the country to take a new job. I encouraged him to do so, since it was a great opportunity and I'm a believer in taking leaps of faith. He's not really a risk-taker, and his family, who lives here, vehemently opposed him leaving the area (and me). He decided to take the job for two years to make more connections in the industry before moving back here and making a change into a related career (which he has been wanting to do for a while). Unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way I had hoped. He works 100+ hour work weeks, and he says that his coworkers hate him and think he is terrible at his job. At least three days a week he calls me near tears about how his coworkers have made snide comments or how he just can't get enough done. Of course, all I have to go on about his coworkers' behavior is what he tells me. On the other hand, I've seen glimpses of his work and I'm kind of disappointed. He is really disorganized at work, he is an extreme procrastinator, and he's had me review documents that are terribly written. The entire time, his mother has been begging him to move back to this part of the country. At first, I thought that was no way to encourage him to succeed, so I tried to be positive about the situation, that it was just the shock of change. But it's been a year and I'm still hearing the same things from him. In addition, I'm having a lot of difficulty with him painting a picture of himself as a persecuted loser. In his world, everyone is always picking on him and he is always doing a terrible job. It's really getting to me and making me lose respect for him, since he doesn't seem to have any for himself. I've convinced him to seek out a therapist, who he is going to see for the first time this week. (I've thought about doing the same, to work through some of the issues that this has brought up.) I am really at a loss for what to do. Has anyone here had a similar situation? How can I best help him through this? It really kind of shocks me to see him be so miserable at work and not stand up to his coworkers. And that after being in the same industry for so long, he hadn't really developed essential skills like organization and writing. And I'm not entirely sure why this concerns me so much! Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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